All was well for a while, until a little girl kept bringing me armfuls of clothing. Where was it coming from? I couldn't tell. I didn't see her go into any of the fitting rooms with any of this. She made several trips. It took one glance toward the shoe department to realize that she (or her idiot mother) had actually left the remainder of her waste on top of two stools (you know, the ones you sit on while fitting shoes) that she'd pushed together to hold the entirety of the mess. WHY??

Once I'd finally gotten a rack sorted for rolling (essentially, sorting people's unwanted clothes from the fitting rooms, to make it easier for me to return them to the floor in as little time as possible) everything seemed to have been going rather smoothly. I was well on my way to catching up with nearly 4 hours of unattended disaster. That's when I noticed two children that had taken the liberty of setting up and playing a goddamn board game in the middle of one of the aisles, while their clueless cow of a mother was browsing shirts. I stopped for a second (I was rather surprised, I will admit, I've seen a LOT of stupid stuff but this was beyond stupid) and showed my disdain to their mother by shaking my head and glaring. She did nothing. Fucking. Idiot. Breeder.

So I managed to get that rack rolled in just under 2 minutes and as I began sorting another, a tall, frumpy woman approached me with more crap. She honestly looked like some sort of creature born from Lassie and Mokey Fraggle.

Me: How are you today?
Lassie/Mokey: [silence]
Me: ... Did you find anything nice today?
Lassie/Mokey: [......silence]
Me: Um... ok ... have a good day.
Lassie/Mokey: [grunts]

Some time later, I went to break. I returned to a fitting room that was filled with everything but clothing. Seriously. Not a single garment. But someone did leave behind:

• Several office supplies (a 'to do' notepad was the highlight - it was called "stupid stuff I have to do" - well, you've just done something so insanely stupid, I guess you really didn't need that notepad)
• Some children's books and board games
• A couple of medium-sized paintings
• 6 plates
• some other shit I don't recall

I almost forgot to mention that before I went back to the salesfloor, I went to use the restroom when I was greeted by something so .... so... vile. I actually gasped and said "dear lord, what the hell?" (one of my coworkers was in the other stall and began laughing, because she knew exactly what I was so horrified by).

The toilet seat looked like a very large person (or a goddamn tyrannosaurus rex) wiped their ass with it. This was a skidmark like no other. Actually, it wasn't even a skidmark. It was a fucking oil spill. The only thing I can post that would actually adequately sum up what that stall looked like is this clip from "Dumb and Dumberer" -

After being thoroughly horrified by a grand number of things, I spotted yet another child whose parents probably gave up long ago, toting around a basket full of random crap, running into people, knocking things off racks, and to top it all off, she just rolled it toward me when her mother said it was time to go. Yeah, thanks, kid. Asshole.

As all of this is happening, the shoe department is going to hell. Absolutely trashed. Then I spot a pile of purses laying on the ground, and next to this pile, a clueless looking woman (of course).

Purse bitch: I don't want all of these purses but I can't find any [clips to hang them back up with] so I'm just going to leave them here
Me: Actually, I'd like you to take them to your cashier. They can put the hooks back on and they'll take [the purses] back to me later."
Purse bitch: Oh, ok
Me: [turns my back for 2 seconds]
Purse bitch: [disappears into thin air, leaving pile of purses]

Stupid. Cunt.

Meanwhile, another idiot was piling clothes on to the corner of a rolling rack.

Me: There's plenty of room for those down at this end of the rack!
Customer: Oh [continues to pin more shit to the corner of the rack]
Me: [moves the items over and glares at her]
Customer: [throws the rest on the ground]

Use your damn heads, people!

Some time later, I was returning from rolling another rack when I spotted one of my dude coworkers sweeping out a fitting room. I then learn that there's "a really creepy guy on the loose" and that a customer had complained about him (and "she seemed distraught") after he'd broken some glass object, etc.

I never found the creep at large, but I can definitely appreciate the fact that everyone seems to know that I'm normally good at finding creeps.

A bit later in the evening, my most-hated piece of shit customer, Backpack Guy, made his return. This time, after he'd made it into the fitting room, I spoke loudly of calling the police. Well, wouldn't you know it, he high-tailed it right out of the store. Will that idiot ever fucking learn?