GuD

that's pretty much exactly how i feel. and then anxiety overrides my better attributes so instead of coming across as me i'm offputting and rude. and then i see that i've been offputting and rude and feel bad about myself. and then it's self-pity party. and then i get paranoid about all the other **** i might've done to seem off putting and rude... im a neurotic mess and always have been. anti anxiety medication kills my motivation. weed just ends up making more paranoid. drinking makes me act like an idiot most of the time. i don't make friends easy, the ones i do make im distrustful of. i can't relate to my body and am completely lost sexually. my family is finally trying to help me and im so confused by it that i won't let them. it's mostly the stupidest ****ing problems with the easiest answers but living the change is ****ing exhausting. maybe i'm wrong, maybe more functional people struggle just as much. they're just stronger. idfk.

__________________
I spit bullets in my feet
Every time I speak
So I write instead
And still people want me dead
~msc

The Batlord

I have some of the same problems really committing to friendships emotionally. It doesn't help that I've always worked minimum wage jobs, where the only potential friends available to me were morons. Occasionally I'd make a friend, even rarely finding a group to hang with, but as they were always intellectually beneath me, and often basket cases such as myself -- which is likely why they wanted anything to do with me in the first place -- that I'd never really be able to overcome a sense of superiority. It's not like I inwardly sneered at them, but I couldn't help but feel better than them -- and since they were often not the best people on Earth, it's not like I was always wrong -- and even if it wasn't obvious, I imagine they could at least subconsciously recognize that I never considered myself one of them.

Aside from them sucking as people, this was a big reason why I was always a bit of an outsider when I was hanging out with those Juggalo dudes. I had to dumb myself down a lot of times, as using big words often made them insecure, and talking about anything remotely intellectual just wasn't on the table. I don't know if they talked about me behind my back about stuff like that, but I definitely felt a certain distance from them that left me unable to ever really let down my guard around them. We had some good times, but I think I always knew that they were my friends simply because I had no one better to talk to.

__________________

ladyislingering

I've been perpetually drunk for days because I'm just really sad and reclusive and all my friends are too ****ed up for my consolation

At this point I'm either going to have to find a therapist or kill myself with my vices

__________________

ladyislingering

I've been perpetually drunk for days because I'm just really sad and reclusive and all my friends are too ****ed up for my consolation

At this point I'm either going to have to find a therapist or kill myself with my vices

__________________

Aux-In

I'm not sure what bothers me more when it comes to my own grammar and spelling mistakes. Making them in the first place, or going back and correcting them only to have the "edited by" function appear. Well, it's not really a function, but I don't know what to call it. There are times when I read an old post that is months old--years even--and I want to correct something, yet I feel that it looks disingenuous to do so given the progression of time, even if my intentions are innocuous. Almost as if I'm trying to remove a line that I shouldn't have written or change the meaning and/or intent of what I wrote, when, in fact, it's often to fix spelling and grammar mistakes, and sometimes to remove redundancies, i.e., too many "I think" or "to me's." There were six commas in that last sentence--on purpose.

The "edited by" is there, glaringly pointing at me, time stamp and all.

__________________
Reviews l YouTube Playlist: Another Dimension

"All over a bowl of bitter beans."

ladyislingering

I bought this wonderful air freshener stuff that's supposed to smell like lavender and help you sleep pretty well.

...it smells like my ex, who was violently abusive toward me.

now I'm faced with throwing away a $3 bottle of air freshener because I'm so goddamn angry.

__________________

Aux-In

.

__________________
Reviews l YouTube Playlist: Another Dimension

"All over a bowl of bitter beans."

Mr. Sir

I've been deprived of headphones for silent listening for over 48 hours now. Symptoms of withdrawal are slowly starting to manifest.

__________________
(╯°□°)╯︵ suoıʇuəʌuoɔ lɐɔısnɯ

100 albums worthy of stealing your time [2/100]

Scarlett O'Hara

Been in terrible pain since Saturday. I'm not supposed to be in pain two weeks after a surgery. I haven't stopped bleeding since the surgery either. I think it could be a period but I had one only two weeks ago. Bleeding has increased. Couldn't afford to see doctor until pay day tomorrow. Can't wait to get some pain relief.

__________________

The Batlord

Two things. If you're going to use "i.e.", then you need to put it, and the following sentence or phrase, in parentheses.

Secondly, "i.e." basically means "in other words", so if you're using it, the following sentence should basically be a definition of what it's in reference to. For example: last week I was viciously attacked, and almost killed, by a Chorthippus brunneus (i.e. a common field grasshopper).

You're looking for "e.g.", which is a list of examples. This should help you out.

Grammar Girl : I.e. Versus E.g. :: Quick and Dirty Tips

Oh yeah, and...

__________________