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Old 01-29-2018, 05:14 AM   #521 (permalink)
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Irony by OccultHawk

There once was a lady who always wore clean underwear in case she had to go to the emergency room. Then, one day, she had an accident. And then she had another accident. The entire emergency team at the ER laughed and laughed. Years later, they still joke about it.
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That's no excuse. One sentence, or GTFO.

She could still hear the laughter that greeted her as she woke, their faces staring down at her through the light, the soft kiss of soiled cotton around her ankles.

See? Treat your audience like a hooker. Just get in, and then get out. The ambiguity that comes from excessive brevity will make your story seem much deeper than it actually is.
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The has spoken!
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Old 01-29-2018, 06:17 AM   #522 (permalink)
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Utopia by OccultHawk

There once was a man who lived in a very nice house in the country. He never worked a day in his life because black people worked for him for free.
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Old 01-29-2018, 06:21 AM   #523 (permalink)
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Utopia II by OccultHawk

There once was woman who loved sex. She had the perfect life pleasing her massa.
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Old 01-29-2018, 06:25 AM   #524 (permalink)
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Utopia III by OccultHawk

There once was a man who loved two things: working hard and eating chitlins. He escaped the north and got on with massa.
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:14 AM   #525 (permalink)
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****'s sake! Now you're writing trilogies! You think we have the time to sit down and read all that ****? Readers Digest or nothing, man. We have lives, you know!

Well, not me, obviously, but others do.
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:19 AM   #526 (permalink)
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Eagle's Feather Breaking Bound Branches

There once was a story that didn't start off with "there once was...". Everybody figured that it happened twice.
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:20 AM   #527 (permalink)
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"Once upon a time there was this guy and he lived happily ever after. The end."
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:37 AM   #528 (permalink)
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****'s sake! Now you're writing trilogies! You think we have the time to sit down and read all that ****? Readers Digest or nothing, man. We have lives, you know!

Well, not me, obviously, but others do.

Does that mean you're not awaiting Occult's Trilogy Part IV?
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:48 AM   #529 (permalink)
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Ori's One Sentence Stories:

She drifted from outside herself through the hypnotic drone of chirping crickets, and the low hum of bullfrogs, as he pulled away, turning to face the figures in the light.

The closet would have been perfect, if he hadn't already sealed it.

Some regrets only last for a moment, as do some lives.

When his work was finally done, he heard a noise rising up through the planks, a soft whisper, and knew then that he had been too late.

All these years later, she had finally given them back to him, though not all, for she made sure to save the last for what came next.

It wasn't as nice on the peak as I had hoped, but it was enough.
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:56 AM   #530 (permalink)
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The Whacker by OccultHawk

There once was a man who quit his job. Now he masturbates more often.
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