Your Day - The Complete and Utter BS Version
 

This thread is just for community chit chat, a bit like Your Day or the Sexual Experience thread. There's only one rule :

Nearly everything you post has to be utter and complete BS.

You can of course be truthful about your enjoyment of other people's BS statements, stories and the like, but if you describe your day or write about that time something like that happened, it has to be fabricated and untruthful Bullsh*te.

Hopefully this will cause all sorts of confusion somewhere down the line when people just join in the thread without reading the first post as so often happens. Maybe it won't - maybe it'll never be fun, but let's give it a shot.


Alright, starting from .. NOW!

So today I was watching this WW2 documentary, the kind we've all seen X amount of times in one shape or another and it struck me : What about all the good things Hitler did? Everyone knows history was written by the victors and I'm guessing he couldn't have "fooled" those millions of germans if he wasn't on to something.

I went on ebay and had a look and I found some Mein Kampf and other nazi paraphenilia. I ended up spending 500 euros, but at least I'll have something to play with for the next few days.

Oh, and a message to the guys who keep cyb0ring : We can read your PMs.

Had a threesome with Vegangelica & a turnip.

I just ate a really nasty tasting turnip.

Today I accidentally had a tattoo of Benito Mussolini done on the back of my leg.

http://tattoonow.vo.llnwd.net/o25/Al...0mussolini.jpg

I only nipped out for a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread. :(

Which is an improvement on yesterday when I ended up with this one while visiting friends.

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_0uFdJk1NW3E/R6...attoo+ever.JPG

Is that what happens when a domestic housecat gets fucked by a tiger?

Where's Tore when you need him.

You'll have to ask the missus for the answer to that one. :pimp:

I feel ill

That's better than your other leg:

http://www.browniesalad.com/wp-conte...tattoos_15.jpg

^That's rich coming from you! @Urban

I came to work and I've been working my ass off since I got here. Phew...I need a break soon. :D

Made out with 5 chicks. Then got on MB with nothing better to do.

I smoked crack with former Teletubby Tinky Winky

http://andrejkoymasky.com/liv/fam/bi...y01/tink1b.jpg

And i also turned into a tractor :)

I punched Juliet Casablancas in the stomach, then stole her husband, drank my height in vodka, and somehow lost an eye in the process. I now have an eyepatch

I dismantled an atomic bomb and turned it into a flower bed.

Today I discovered humility

It exists?

On my lunch break I went to the lake and sat on the bench jerking off at all the hot chicks jogging by. Then I wanted a mocha type drink but I didn't have my wallet so I went to the chocolati place and ordered a drink and when she told me the total I punched her in the face.

Reading that punching the face part made me kinda horny.

Speaking of horny, I went to the shrink today and we had a long talk about childhood memories and so on. On that couch, I remembered that my first ever sexual fantasy involved Krang from the Ninja Turtles, you know - that pink brain in that robot suit. The shrink says it explains a desire for knowledge, which for me is not a mental pursuit at all, just a pure physical lust-driven thing - boners and all.

It's pretty weird, but that's what she told me.

Also, I saw a Billy Corgan lookalike reality show on MTV today and I'm sure the winning contestant was Jackhammer.

I need a shrink. I want a hot shrink, is that bad? I have a feeling that wouldn't really help me much.

So far it's been about 50/50 between converting lesbians and cleaning out my PM inbox of all the messages people send gushing over how great my journal is, and how amazing and insightful all my posts are. Man it just doesn't stop...I keep telling you guys to just post my praise in the actual threads. :|

I woke up and ate some French toast, did my French exam and went back to bed. Then I woke up to come on MB and tell you about it.

Hungry alfred? :)

Yes. ;)

my friend smoked me out but little did i know it was laced with pcp. when i came down, i was somehow in california and had 2 trash bags full of weed with a note that said..."thanks for taking this off my hands...maria was getting suspicious - arnie"

Won six bananas and a beanbag in an international birdwatching competition.

It's f-ing gorgeous and 75 degrees today so I'm gonna skip work even though I have a buttload to do, and just go lay out by the lake with my shirt off.

today i flew up to heaven and punched God in the face for watching me and my Icelandic supermodel wife having ravenous tantric sex on top of Mt. Kilamanjaro with some curious penguins. interracial/beastiality orgies are always fun.

I thought this was supposed to be complete BS.




;)

I just got done my English exam, as well as my final drama monologue. I have to leave for my piano recital in Toronto soon, probably won't be back until the AM.

Just all snazzed up to go find a girl in town to kick it with today. Decided to rail a few lines before I left. When I went to leave, the deadbolt latch on the door jammed, so now im stuck inside, 5 floors up.

Ended up having to piss in a bottle.

yes of course! ;)

I got a lot of ass.

I got more ass than him.
Gave a little too.

Tried to get some bud off a *** dude today in san fran. After I got there he said I Couldnt have it unless I sat in his comfy chair and let him blow me while watching 'pussy porn'

Apparently, that makes it hetero.

It's pouring cats and dogs today! But I said f it and walked to work instead of taking the bus. So I get to work all soaking wet and tell my boss hey boss I can't possibly work under these conditions just look at me and he said yeah you're right why don't you go home so I got on the bus and went back home and I've been jerking it all day.

I thought that was a true story.

shhh... they are actually all true, I was hoping no one caught on. Hopefully this post is overlooked and I can continue to post my crazy adventures in life here. I couldn't make the shit up I've written here.