The Confessional Thread

[John Wilkes Booth]

are you from the south? that would explain it.

[ladyislingering]

Lately I've been having a lot of pain in my legs (I do walk a lot at work but I'm absolutely accustomed to it), some muscle weakness/stiffness and it scares the hell out of me.

Spoiler for sad stuff, please don't read if you're grieving for any reason:

That's how it started with my mom, when she was around my age. By the time she was 35, she was completely unable to walk on her own. At age 51, she's already had 3 mild strokes, often slurs her words, and lesions have been discovered on her brain. She refuses to use a wheelchair - she uses a rollater (a rolling walker, used for both walking and sitting).

She's taken countless falls over the years, many times in public, leading to serious injuries (one time she pierced her eye because the nosepiece of her glasses cut her on impact). She completely loses control of her balance and body several times a day.

Growing up watching her become sicker and sicker was mortifying. I haven't seen her in 3 years - I couldn't bear the thought of being her caretaker and there will (probably soon) come a day when she can't be left by herself. I worry every day that what happened to her will happen to me. I worry myself sick. Whenever it hurts to stand up for no reason at all, whenever I get a sharp pain in my back or a sudden onset migraine. Whenever I'm limping and don't even realize it. I worry so much.

[John Wilkes Booth]

that's ****ed up. hopefully its not genetic.

[ladyislingering]

Originally Posted by John Wilkes Booth

that's ****ed up. hopefully its not genetic.

I want to talk to her about it but she's grown kind of senile and tends to react to certain things in an inappropriate manner, so I don't think I'll ever find out.

[John Wilkes Booth]

can't you ask her doctors?

[Exo]

Originally Posted by Carpe Mortem

What's not to understand? He's a paranoid dude for whom legal shooting and being legally armed is among his top hobbies, and has issues with my illegal hobby being around him.

I just can't grasp the concept of having a bunch of weapons that will literally end somebodies life but you can't smoke a plant because your state hasn't made it legal yet.

[ladyislingering]

I live in Seattle, she lives in Minnesota. I don't think they'd be able to release that information and I don't even have a name for exactly what's wrong with her.

[John Wilkes Booth]

so its some sort of medical mystery?

[ladyislingering]

Originally Posted by John Wilkes Booth

so its some sort of medical mystery?

She told me that the doctors think the whole thing initially began with a mild stroke. She took a tumble down a few stairs and messed up her spine a little, but they don't know exactly what caused the first stroke (or even if it really was the first). Plus she's sustained a lot of head injuries from falling, so they think that's also contributed to some of her problems. They just don't know why.

When I was much younger I heard her saying that her grandma used a wheelchair but I've never been sure why. I'm not even sure if my mother knew why.

Hopefully I'm just worrying too much, or spend too much time at work. I really can't stand the thought of having a life like my mother's.

[John Wilkes Booth]

hopefully you are just paranoid. you seem like the paranoid type.