I'll Never Understand People..

Freebase Dali · 10-05-2010, 08:22 PM

The rules, according to men's public restrooms:

Poo shall be in, on or around toilet, in greatly varying amounts and patterns, at any given point and place in time. If poo is in toilet only, toilet shall be clogged with more toilet paper than is reasonable by any standard.
Urine shall be on floor. If no urine is present on floor, adequate urine coverage must be present on toilet seat, which shall remain down at all times.
There must be a hole dug via pocket-knife through the stall wall near the toilet paper dispenser. Visibility into the next stall shall be negligible. Bits of toilet paper stuffed into this hole is acceptable.
There shall be, at all times, several penis drawings on stall walls. These penises must be drawn with very little artistic ability, and can also be represented on a stick man. Erect.
There shall be a number written on the stall walls that patrons can use to call for a good time. Meeting place shall be "this stall" at 2:00.
If adequate room is available, please write in pen one or all of the variations of "Here I sit".
Racist comments shall adorn stall walls, crossed out.
Do not wash hands, because there isn't any soap.

Please follow these rules. This is a public restroom, and we should all work together to keep it that way.

**Janszoon** · 10-05-2010, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

The rules, according to men's public restrooms:

Poo shall be in, on or around toilet, in greatly varying amounts and patterns, at any given point and place in time. If poo is in toilet only, toilet shall be clogged with more toilet paper than is reasonable by any standard.
Urine shall be on floor. If no urine is present on floor, adequate urine coverage must be present on toilet seat, which shall remain down at all times.
There must be a hole dug via pocket-knife through the stall wall near the toilet paper dispenser. Visibility into the next stall shall be negligible. Bits of toilet paper stuffed into this hole is acceptable.
There shall be, at all times, several penis drawings on stall walls. These penises must be drawn with very little artistic ability, and can also be represented on a stick man. Erect.
There shall be a number written on the stall walls that patrons can use to call for a good time. Meeting place shall be "this stall" at 2:00.
If adequate room is available, please write in pen one or all of the variations of "Here I sit".
Racist comments shall adorn stall walls, crossed out.
Do not wash hands, because there isn't any soap.

Please follow these rules. This is a public restroom, and we should all work together to keep it that way.

Fairly accurate, though for many of my local bars I'd add:

Stalls shall be missing doors, or alternately, missing every single piece of hardware that defines them as "stalls" except for a few screws in the walls.
Any toilet not clogged with toilet paper and/or feces shall be missing a seat.
Stickers for no fewer than twenty local bands shall be plastered on the walls.
The door shall remain propped open at all time to maintain an absolute minimum level of privacy.

Freebase Dali · 10-05-2010, 08:55 PM

Haha... that too.
Bar bathrooms do have their own charms. In particular, the piss trough filled with ice.

wut 4.

**Janszoon** · 10-05-2010, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Haha... that too.
Bar bathrooms do have their own charms. In particular, the piss trough filled with ice.

wut 4.

Yes! The ice melting competition is the best thing in the world when I'm drunk!

Are you actually asking the reason or just joking? Because there is a reason why they do it.

Freebase Dali · 10-05-2010, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

Yes! The ice melting competition is the best thing in the world when I'm drunk!

Are you actually asking the reason or just joking? Because there is a reason why they do it.

I seriously don't know why they put ice in there.

**Janszoon** · 10-05-2010, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

I seriously don't know why they put ice in there.

It's just a convenient place to dump out the old ice at the end of the night or whenever they happen to clean out the ice boxes.

Paedantic Basterd · 10-05-2010, 09:00 PM

I have heard that pissing on ice is one of life's little pleasures.

Don't use the ice machines in hotels.

Paedantic Basterd · 10-05-2010, 09:22 PM

That was kind of anti-climactic.

**Janszoon** · 10-05-2010, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

That was kind of anti-climactic.

I can try and make up a more exciting answer if you'd like.

Paedantic Basterd · 10-05-2010, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I can try and make up a more exciting answer if you'd like.

I think we'd all enjoy that.

10-05-2010, 08:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	The rules, according to men's public restrooms: Poo shall be in, on or around toilet, in greatly varying amounts and patterns, at any given point and place in time. If poo is in toilet only, toilet shall be clogged with more toilet paper than is reasonable by any standard. Urine shall be on floor. If no urine is present on floor, adequate urine coverage must be present on toilet seat, which shall remain down at all times. There must be a hole dug via pocket-knife through the stall wall near the toilet paper dispenser. Visibility into the next stall shall be negligible. Bits of toilet paper stuffed into this hole is acceptable. There shall be, at all times, several penis drawings on stall walls. These penises must be drawn with very little artistic ability, and can also be represented on a stick man. Erect. There shall be a number written on the stall walls that patrons can use to call for a good time. Meeting place shall be "this stall" at 2:00. If adequate room is available, please write in pen one or all of the variations of "Here I sit". Racist comments shall adorn stall walls, crossed out. Do not wash hands, because there isn't any soap. Please follow these rules. This is a public restroom, and we should all work together to keep it that way.

10-05-2010, 08:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	Haha... that too. Bar bathrooms do have their own charms. In particular, the piss trough filled with ice. wut 4.

10-05-2010, 09:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	I have heard that pissing on ice is one of life's little pleasures. Don't use the ice machines in hotels.

10-05-2010, 09:22 PM	#8 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	That was kind of anti-climactic.