:bonkhead:

it doesn't blow for s_k he loves the friend zone

"I'm sorry to say, but you're life is f*cked. Sorry!"




Your advisory skills leave much to be desired sometimes.

Here you go oojay

1. Don't be a twat or
2. Don't marry a twat

scurred now

I'm not, I feel bad now. I'm sorry, **** sux

lol well the advise that I had to give was about something that happened in the past and there is no controlling the past.

What did you expect that I would say?

That's because I usually end up in the friends with benefits zone ;D.

No mate, it was just for the thread in general.

If I think a girl/woman is that type I dont go up to them. Although I think Im just good at reading people, while I suck in other areas.

Your right, I should have said woman. I put girl because I am only twenty and I see people my age as boys and girls, with only some fitting into the men/woman category.

My biggest problem is seeing a random girl walking around and getting there number. If im in a class or something with them its easy, but say Im at the market, I dont know how to approach without seeming creepy and desperate even if I am not.

Just cater your approach/pick up line towards your environment.

Like say if you are in a super market, ask for help with whatever is in that aisle. As a general type question like "What do you think is the best pasta sauce? I'm cooking dinner for a date in a few hours and I'd really like to get something that has a tangy flavor. or something along those lines." That is a good ice breaker because they won't feel too threatened like you are trying to hit on them because you make mention that you have a date so you make them feel comfortable enough to talk to you without feeling like you might try to hit on them which as the conversation goes you CAN hit on them and try to get their number by saying they give great advice or something and you'd like to contact them in the future.

Sure ya do bro.

This might work for you but I would never do this. Girls aren't dumb. They can see right through stuff like this. No girl is going to think some random guy is looking for a pasta sauce advisor in the grocery store. You might as well just ask her if she wants to try your alfredo sauce; it would have the same meaning behind it. There's no need to try to trick her or lie. They know what you're trying to do.

Which brings me to the next point: NEVER tell a girl you have a date or are in a relationship, etc. She could lose interest if she had any, or she'll see through it and think it's an immature way to try to pick up a girl. Chances are you won't be able to make such an impression on a girl you just met that you make her jealous enough about a date that she thinks it's worth her trouble to pursue any kind of interest she has in you.

Just be upfront. Well, not upfront as in "YOU PRETTY! CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER???", but don't try to hide any attraction. Again, they know why you chose to talk to them. Always good to ease in with some kind of witty remark (what that is depends on the situation... or how witty you are), and then just straight up flirt, which is the easiest thing in the world to do if you are confident. Humour, charm, confidence. Can't go wrong.

VERY broad advice, but alot of it is just comes down to spontaneity. I know this won't apply to people that are of a certain personality type, but it's what works for me.

Or put the moves on your partner at the local bridge tournament.

Okay that's your take on it but it works for me majority of the time. I know how to cook so I would ask and have asked for advice on pasta sauce. The last time I went grocery shopping I asked this older lady for advice on cooking oils. I wasn't trying to pick her up or start a conversation but I was just curious. When you know how to cook, you can talk about things it's not a lie.

So what if you tell a girl you have a date? that won't really matter. you DO know you can date multiply women at the same time right? as long as it's on a casual level.

Also, if you are confident enough, you can say you are in a relationship and then later when you are friends with the girl you can go ahead and lie saying that you broke up with your ex or w/e. Some friends of mines have done this but I don't bother with this strategy. It's not one that I approve of but I know that it works for them.

I don't see how asking for advice on something at a grocery store is bad imo. It's just something to break the ice and ease into a conversation. You don't have to lie or anything you can even say I ****ing suck at cooking but in a humorous way.

Yeah whatever works for ya. I was just surprised it does.

"Also, if you are confident enough, you can say you are in a relationship and then later when you are friends with the girl you can go ahead and lie saying that you broke up with your ex or w/e."

That kind of seems like the opposite of confidence to me. If you're confident enough you wouldn't have to lie.

And the advice part wasn't what I was criticizing; it's fine to start it off like that. It was instead carrying that through to get her number, as in "You give good advice, mind if I get your number to pick your brain some other time."

Confidence and charming enough to pull off a lie I meant. If you aren't charming then they will see right through your lie just like you said earlier women aren't dumb but you can snow them if you are THAT good.

I'm not claiming to be that good.

For guys: A guide to girl talk


I read this the other day and busted out laughing.

What do you guys think of it?

It looks pretty pathetic tbh. Like that everything a girl says is a secret coded message for something else :P I think some of the earlier onces are often true, but certainly not always, and I think there are a lot more straight talking girls out there that literally just say what they mean!

Even with the straight talking girls though, women tend to think differently so sometimes guys are like "wtf did I do?" and it's just some weird compounded issue that guys have no idea what they did or what happened.

Let me help a bit with that article. Because there is often a reason behind why I say something, but not THAT big of an explanation. It by no means covers all women, especially because I'm a lot more straightforward than a lot of women seem to be, but this is what I would mean if I say these things:

What I say: “Why don’t I take your number and I’ll call you?”
What I mean: You probably wouldn't call me, so I'll try to pursue you first and see if that works out.
Why I say it: I want to take the reins with this one. I want to take some initiative.

What I say: “Oh, sorry, I already have weekend plans.”
What I mean: I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'm not trying to hang out with you this weekend.
Why I say it: You've probably done something to annoy me, but not enough for me to tell you to **** off. I'm giving you about one more chance to make things better, and you're done.

What I say: “This feels good, but we really shouldn’t.”
What I mean: "This feels good, but we really shouldn't.
Why I say it: I don't want to do this. You're either making me uncomfortable, we're doing it for the wrong reasons, I'm afraid you're going to think it was a mistake because I'm self-conscious, or I made a mistake and don't want to make another one.

What I say: “So, what have you been up to?”
What I mean: “So, what have you been up to?"
Why I say it: I want to know what you've been up to.
(If for some reason, I WAS mad at you and I'm asking this, it could be to find out why you didn't call. But that's not code, it's common sense. I literally want to know what you've been up to.)

What I say: “If you want to have a guy’s night, go ahead, fine.”
What I mean: "If you want to have a guy's night, go ahead, fine."
Why I say it: Cause I want you to have a guy's night.
(If you've made plans with me and have canceled them to hang out with the guys, you're annoying, and I'm annoyed, and you'll know. I will have MUCH more of an attitude and I will NOT tell you it is fine.

What I say: “So, tell me about Diane.”
What I mean: “If you say something I feel threatened by, I'm going to kick her ass, and then yours.”
Why I say it: Say she's pretty. Say she's really nice. Say she's an awesome cook. It's all fine with me, really. If you for some reason give me an inclination to believe that she is hitting on you, she will realize, first by yourself, and then by me, that you are taken. If you haven't told her, we're over. If you have told her and she's disrespecting me as your girlfriend, get her away from you. If you have told her, she's disrespecting me as your girlfriend, and you let her think that's fine, it's over. Don't ever disrespect me and don't let other girls disrespect me like I'm just some kind of obstacle in the way. I wouldn't let some guy do that to you.
(I'm not some jealous bitch, I just don't like being disrespected and I wouldn't disrespect someone I'm with).

What I say: “I love the way you smell.”
What I mean: “I love the way you smell."
Why I say it: I love the way you smell. When I smell it, it reminds me of you, of nice things, it makes me feel comfortable. If I do happen to love you, and I haven't told you yet, that's fine, but this isn't a clue to me loving you.


It's also all about the tone for me, I make it very obvious for you to know how I'm feeling if I'm pissed off and it's for good reason. Maybe I'm not like a million other girls.

GIRLS: What do you think of my interpretations?

A female friend of mines posted this after reading my facebook status this morning and he said everything I did but he went on for 3 mins.

hahahaha omfg thats the funniest thang ive heard 2day and its pretty much the truth and i hate typing this to you since im a girl and all :)

That guy's voice is annoying as f*ck. But he has a point, women are at times ridiculously complicated and dont actually know what they want, or they know what they are supposed to want, and pay lip service to it so that people wont judge them negatively, but then end up with the opposite because thats what attracts them... which leads to people judging them negatively anyway, because most other people arent idiots lol.

As for men, are we this simple really?

lol yeah

mine's a little different tho

What she says: “Why don’t I take your number and I’ll call you?”
What she means: Why don't you give me your number so you can **** off now
Why she says it: I'm not interested.

What she says: “Oh, sorry, I already have weekend plans.”
What she means: Not interested,go away
Why she says it: Because I'm a polite bitch


What she says: “This feels good, but we really shouldn’t.”
What she means: Uhh I never say this ****
Why she says it: I don't say it cause it's pointless. If it feels good then it feels good, and I go through with it, ****.

What she says: “So, what have you been up to?”
What she means: Nothing. I usually ask "How was your day" just in case he needs to vent about work or something, cause I'm always the first person he talks to when he gets out. We both bitch about our day or talk about something good that happened.

What she says: “If you want to have a guy’s night, go ahead, fine.”
What she means: That's really what I mean when I say something like that.
Why she says it: Because I don't think its fair to deny my significant other time with his friends if he wants it, unless it's something like an anniversary or Valentines Day or my birthday.

What she says: “So, tell me about Diane.”
What she means: I don't actually say stuff like that. I'm not threatened by someone's exes, if they are too close for comfort, I'll ask about it.
Why she says it: idgaf

What she says: “I love the way you smell.”
What she means: I like the way you smell, smell like that more often. Usually goes for certain touching and things they say.
Why she says it: Because I want it to be repeated?

Oh so that's why I haven't had a girlfriend in 4 years. Well, whatever I don't really give a fuck anymore. I'm just going to go with the flow and just not get depressed over petty shit.

No sense worrying about girls. They come and go. Sometimes the ones you think are good turn out to be losers anyways. I don't even have a want for a girlfriend. And sometimes the less you try for something the easier it becomes. That's how it's always been for me anyways.

Girls speak in a code but most of the time they want you to figure out what they are saying. Their tone usually gives it away. It's pretty obvious judging by her tone if she really wants you to have a guys night or not. I prefer to give my number to a girl but it usually doesnt happen. cause the best way for me to get numbers is at the bar or whatever just being aggressive and being like... you need to put your number in my phone right now, and then handing them my phone.

Yeah , his voice was getting to me after a point doing all the changes and things like that.

As for the video you posted, I was dying laughing with each new statement. One of those , it's funny because it's true type of things but some of the statements were slightly exaggerated situations related to what some guys think.

LOL, you are pretty right about that. As far as the whole number situation. I don't like to give out my number anymore. I rather take theirs and then I call it right away in their face so that if they give me a fake phone number I can call them out on it right there on the spot!

Some women speak in codes while others are more straight forward but the ones that speak in codes expect you to be a fucking mind reader and just automatically understand what they really wanted to say.

How does calling them out on giving you a fake number help anything? That just makes you look more of an idiot, because already she's thinking you've misread alot of signals or seen some that werent there, and when she tried to be polite to get you to leave you throw a strop because of it. Its a bad look imo.

No, it doesn't help but it makes me feel better to confront them and see how they try to wiggle out and make excuses for giving me a fake number.

Sure, I might've missed some signals but it is a much better feeling to put them on the spot right there than to get home and attempt to call the number and be like well shit, she gave me shit fucked up number.

Well if it helps you, then it doesnt really matter.

How do you deal with the Butters friend? They are there with only one purpose, to ****block any guy that the girl of your desire doesnt want to chirpse with.



Great song, explains the Butters friend perfectly lol

That's easy. If you are flying solo and you don't have a wingman to distract the butters friend then you have to get the approval of the butters friend by giving her attention and being charming. When you go up to talk to the two of them make sure you pay attention to both of them but be charming and once you get her approval then she won't ****block you. Easy.


One of my wingmen has a nickname of The Shield and that's his speciality. He shields butter friends away from our prime target. Works like a charm all of the time.

ITS A TRICK QUESTION! You cant deal with the Butters friend, because she serves a purpose. This is the one girl who is being used by the buff girls, used to preserve their status as nice girls rather than 'bitches'. We've all had a girl brush us off, and first thing we think is '**** that bitch', too much of that attitude and the girl gets a reputation which she doesnt want. So instead she takes a friend to pull her out, and its the friend that gets the '**** that bitch' sentiment.

The only way to deal with a Butters friend, is to first identify if you are in fact dealing with a butters friend or just a friend. Simply done by asking the friend when she comes to pull the evac move if she wants to come and join you and your friends. If they say yes, its just a friend and your wingmen can deal with them as necessary.

Its an evil ploy by women to maintain their 'nice' image, at the expense of their 'freinds' reputation. Shameful.

ohhh okay. I got it. hmmm that explains why my approach doesn't work sometimes. They aren't meant to create that divide and always be an escape plan for the pretty one.

how did I not notice that before?

Or he could be completely wrong about it, and in fact they are lesbians.

No, if they were lesbians they wouldn't really engage in a flirtatious conversation with a male.

Maybe they just don't find you attractive, holy ****.

Sure they would for ****s and giggles. Happened to my friend once. Totally thought he was gonna be involved in a three way. The girls eventually said get lost we have vibrators and they don't talk.

because they said they have vibrators that means they are lesbian?

Ummm okay.

They could have just wanted to blow your friend off and play mind games with him like some females LOVE LOVE LOVE to do. especially younger females.

It sucks being that guy. :(

Well in between swapping spit and grabbing each others boobs, he just assumed.

meh some girls like to do that and they aren't lesbian especially if it happens at like a bar or something.

They do it for attention.