I'm obviously a filthy whore. I would have to fuck myself to death with a knife. I think anyone else would do the same.

So you're standing in line at a mini-mart when an old man (I'm talking 75-80) walks up and gets in your face, calls you a ****. What do you do?

Axe kick to the face. If the guy was that old, he was already dead. He guy died last week but nobody told him.


You get home and realize that the cashier at the McDonalds drive-thru screwed up your order. It would take 15 minutes to get back to MCD's. What wouldyou do?

Eat it. Bitterly. Maybe not go back for a while.

You witness a mugging. What's your course of action?

I'm thinking.... Charles Bronson this guy into the next life.

You are a mugger who just got shot in the leg by a guy who looks like Charles Bronson, he might BE Charles Bronson, and he's not done. HE'S COMING FOR YOU!!!

What do you do?

Reach into my leg, grab the bullet and shove it down the mother****ers throat.

Your dog poops on your floor

WHAT DO YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!

Pick it up in a paper towel. Apply detergent. Scrub.



Then take my dog out back and shoot it between the eyes.


You trip in front of an audience on a stage. How do you play it?

Incorporate it into the scene, leaving whoever else I'm with hanging out to dry. Redirect the embarassment onto them.

Your biggest idol comes over to your house unannounced and proceeds to **** on your floor. What do you do?

That's a horrible thing to do.

It could really mess up your carpet in the long run.


Play it like Larry David and go into an impromtu stand-up routine that I also carry around written on a napkin in my left back pocket.

Well I DON'T scrub it with ****ing DETERGENT. I can tell you that much.

Remove bulk of stain, apply copious amounts of hot water, and exract. Repeat until desired results are attained.

Also, get a poop rag autographed.

Edit: ****, I forgot to add one.

You get caught looking at craigslist prostitue adds (with pics) at work. Boss asks you what you're doing, what do you do?

I'll say it's a virus thing i had and i'm fixing on it and unfortunately, it got me to this site. i really don't know why's this happened to my PC.

Scenario:
what would you do if a member is making sexual advances to your thru private message and you feel uncomfortable with it?

I'd tell Il Duce to knock it the f*ck off.


You're a fully grown man and you get into a verbal disagreement with a very large woman over a parking spot. She tries to attack you, do you fight back?