I wouldn't need to fight back. That's when I pull out my trusty package of Krispy Kreme donuts that I have for such emergencies and I throw them off to the side and she goes after them and forgets the whole attack on me.

You are at a restaurant and you see that a guy is leading a woman out of the door after he dropped a pill into her drink while she was in the bathroom. What do you do?

if the guy is thin and seems unable to physically attack me, i'll go straight to them and reiterate what i just saw and ask the girl if she's ok and worst comes to worst, we may need to get the police involved.
if the guy is like a wrestler body, i'd just pretend i didn't saw anything.

Scenario: what would you do if your boss found out that you've got one of the most number of internet usage in the office of all in your building that may give him assumption your just surfing the internet instead of working?

Cry if accused of anything until nobody gives a **** what I did and just want me to chill out.
Every time you go to sleep, you have these mind blowingly terrible nightmares. They're pretty realistic too, they usually involve you getting raped by a boy you're already terrified of, getting pregnant, and being ridiculed. Wat do

Snort a lot of coke, never sleep


Your friend is gonna die in 5 seconds, what do you say to him?

"it's been a good ride, see you in the after life."

You see the guy that killed your parents in a drunk driving accident and you just happen to have a 9mm on you at the time that you see him. What do you do?

Grab his wallet and shoot a hole through it so he can't buy more beer. Then I'd go home and eat all the junkfood in my house and vomit it up and cry and I wouldn't have to blame it on the dog because MY PARENTS ARE DEAD.
You think your puppy hates you. Wat do??.??.?.?

punt him into the nearest body of water!

You think your kitten hates you. what do you do?

shoot him on his knees. that doesn't kill him right?
then take him home and brutally torture him by tie-ing his balls very tight, then kick it, punch it, then i'll whip his back, then put cigarettes on his armpits, then insert a needle on his eyes, then make him put his two feet on a hot boiling water, then put some ants in his entire body then after that, burn my house. it destroys all the evidence and bam! i just did justice to my parents.

Scenario: what would you do if Shakira called you up for a date?

Make that bitch pay.
What would you do if your cat was sitting on your lap and you got a boner?

throw the cat down and have a wank, blates

if you needed a dump but all that was available to wipe with was your soon to be wife's wedding dress?