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Old 03-08-2012, 10:23 PM   #21 (permalink)
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i'm starting to think the **** posting isn't going to stop anytime soon.
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Old 03-08-2012, 10:31 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I'm starting to think you havent figured out the language filter just yet
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Old 03-08-2012, 10:38 PM   #23 (permalink)
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there's a lot of shit to filter here. It can't possibly catch all of it.
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Old 03-08-2012, 10:49 PM   #24 (permalink)
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I had a forest green/black-ish type 3 the other day that had me scratching my head wondering what I had eaten. It was either the canned fruit cocktail and/or Dollar Tree granola bars. Not sure - I've never seen that color before, but it was a one time thing...
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Old 03-08-2012, 10:51 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Lmao this is a good spot to tell my latest poo story.....

After like a week of painkillers and cheese, I hadnt pooped in many days... so on like the fourth day, I was in down dog and suddenly had to poo, I think I loosened one of my bandas too much. Anyways, I was stuck on the toilet for four hours and only pooped one tiny thing. I was getting tired of it, and if you know my other poo story, it was the same deal. It felt like it was too large, and I'm like wtf this can't be right, I mean if a dong can get in there, why cant this poop come out???? Then I'm thinking well ****, it got there because of lubrication! So I get a bottle of baby oil, and soaked q tips in it, as well as putting it in the backdoor. It felt a little awkward but ffs four hours on the toilet idegaf. Two minutes later I pooped. Unfortunately only boyfriend gets my poo genius.
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Old 03-08-2012, 11:22 PM   #26 (permalink)
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i only have one good poo story i can think to relate. Once, while in a crowded bar, i thought i had to fart. Well, i'm sure you have all figured out what comes next. Yes, i sharted in a crowded room full of people, and if any of you have been to many bars then you would know there aren't many appropriate places to take care of a number two or wipe yourself after. So i did the only thing i could. Hoping to maintain my dignity, and praying none of my friends were able to.. "detect" the predicament i was in i carefully, with butt cheeks clenched, walked my way to the back of the bar and slipped out into the ally. There i promptly removed my pants, and then my boxers. Realizing my boxers were beyond redemption i then used them to wipe. I accomplished this feat in a matter of seconds, i'm pretty sure if there were an Olympic ass wiping contest i could bring home the gold. I discarded my sullen boxers in the ally and made my way back inside. A few awkward glances and all was well again.
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Old 03-08-2012, 11:44 PM   #27 (permalink)
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You know, for a moment I thought this was just the latest name for the Sexual Experience thread....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Burning Down View Post
Here:

It would make sense that Bristol would have a turd identification system named after it, I suppose.
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Old 03-08-2012, 11:53 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThePhanastasio View Post
There is apparently another kind, which my mother, a nurse who's currently employed with a nursing home, has encountered once. She spoke of it to me only after leaving that particular nursing home to go to another, and it is a type which impresses me greatly.

Apparently, there was one little old lady who couldn't have weighed more than ninety pounds. Every single time she went to the bathroom, she would have but one turd...and it was always perfectly round and the size of a baseball.

Intense shit.
I have been confronted by one of these upon entering a cubicle in a shopping centre. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I was convinced somebody had taken a crap, grabbed the turds out of the basin and rolled them into a giant ball - dropping it back down there to fuck somebody up. I simply cannot fathom how what I saw could exit somebody's anus without causing serious damage en route.
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Old 03-09-2012, 12:50 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneer View Post
I have been confronted by one of these upon entering a cubicle in a shopping centre. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I was convinced somebody had taken a crap, grabbed the turds out of the basin and rolled them into a giant ball - dropping it back down there to fuck somebody up. I simply cannot fathom how what I saw could exit somebody's anus without causing serious damage en route.
I've had perfectly formed little poos, but not big ones.

Isn't it an amazing feat to have the bowel filled with one giant long turd and then an additional half broken in half to fill it all. It times like these I wish I had a smartphone.
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Old 03-09-2012, 01:55 AM   #30 (permalink)
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The most horrifying shit I've ever taken personally has been after being constipated.

I was unable to go for approximately 48 hours, and was about to seriously just break and take a laxative, resigning myself to a lonely evening spent on the toilet and miserable.

It didn't have to come to this, however, because I finally had to go.

I was convinced it was going to be one of those really, really hard turds that feel like they're tearing your asshole to shreds as they exit. Fortunately, this was not the case.

What happened, though, was an insanely long, kielbasa like turd, which wrapped around the toilet bowl in a psychedelic spiral shape. Never had I seen it before, and never have I seen it since. It was madness.
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