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Old 12-27-2013, 08:24 PM   #121 (permalink)
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Haha. No. But she was delicate like a flower. Sometimes I wonder if she was real, but I'm pretty confident she was.
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Old 12-28-2013, 09:44 AM   #122 (permalink)
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I pood while standing up this morning. Just to see if I could. And I bloody well could. Well proud I was.
You had to use the whole roll of toilet paper and a mop but by George you did it.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 01-06-2014, 08:25 PM   #123 (permalink)
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had a bad experience sunday


slept at a friend after a night on the town. decided to throw football sunday and i tried to force out a fart. weve all done it sooo many times that we just take our farts for granted. and the moment you get complacent and comfy is the moment things get wrecked for ya. forced it, and hershey squirts in my pants. had to change underwear, luckily had some there in a duffel bag. took a dump and his toilet is sooo small caus ehis place was built a long time ago. so i couldnt spread my cheeks much and when the poo came out it kinda slid along both of my ass cheeks and left a mess. it was a 2-flusher situation, lots of tp was needed
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Old 01-07-2014, 09:02 AM   #124 (permalink)
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Who wants cake?!


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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 04-01-2014, 05:05 AM   #125 (permalink)
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had a really good experience very recently. my poo was released to its true home right as i put in a chew, the timing was terrific. the first plop was smooth and was stale brownie in texture. what followed was some slithery brown trouts. i flushed and there wasnt much smell either, so all in all it was pretty good
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:18 PM   #126 (permalink)
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had a really good experience very recently. my poo was released to its true home right as i put in a chew, the timing was terrific. the first plop was smooth and was stale brownie in texture. what followed was some slithery brown trouts. i flushed and there wasnt much smell either, so all in all it was pretty good
So you're happy that your mouth looked the same as your ass?
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 05-14-2014, 04:03 AM   #127 (permalink)
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i was at the borgata casino this past weekend and after scarfing down numerous energy drinks and then eating a steak dinner with scallops and a few brews i felt a potential natural disaster brewing inside of me. me and a few friends were on our way to the parking garage to grab some whiskey we left in the drunk when i first felt the rumblings of a whiskey, steak, Monster cocktail brewing just inside of my bunghole

my body needed a release but a fart was far too risky in this situation and i wasnt sure if i would spew some hershey squirts if i tried. i calmly and slowly walked to the elevators to ensure that no brown trout slipped its way into my boxers. once on the elevator i felt sharp pains in my lower abdomen area and since i have 0.0% body fat it felt extra painful. it felt like someone stabbin thru my rock hard chiseled abs. the elevator ride took forever as i went to the casino floor instead of my room. a risky move, for sure , as it was several floors further but despite the monster inside of me the glory of the first floor bathrooms was very tempting and i began salivating at its vision

i speed walked to the bathroom entrance breathing heavily, labored by the methane gasses of my intestines and the demands of 3 monster energy drinks to push their way thru my bowels. initially the stalls were occupied and a slight second of horror filled my body. i told my friends who needed to piss that an accident in my pants was imminent and i charged for the stall door as a a small asian man walked out. i knew this moment was crucial as i pulled down my pants, sure to know disrupt the slightly awoken beast inside my anus.

when my asscheeks felt the coldness of the toilet seat it was certainly relieving. i breathed a sigh of relief then focused on the next step of my journey. i tried to slowly allow for this beast to slide out of my ass as to not burn or irritate my bunghole but my strategy was no use for this behemoth of brown. i erupted and certainly alarmed those around me as i heard startled screams of horror int he surrounding stalls. sweat lined my brow and forehead but my hands were firmly pressed against the walls of the stall to make sure i kept myself grounded

a shotgun sound of a fart ensued and a river of free flowin brown trouts slithered there way to their rightful home in the toilet. i gasped in disbelief and almsot fainted as the stall now became a hot box of fart. women outside the bathroom no doubt hid their children for safety as i concerntrated on not breaking my butthole. the first stage was the monster energy drinks flowing freely out of me followed by 2 breakfast burritos. i thought i had finished and began pulling up my pants after making sure no fecal matter remains on my ass. when i stood up there was a new feeling of horror. this poo devil had one more trick up its sleave. a pocket of air had strealthily hidden in my bungholio and escaped just as the doors of hell were closing him in to seal his fate. i had experienced this before and thought maybe this **** devil had managed to spurt out a single strang of hershey squirt so i immediately sat back down for round 2

the second round was slow and grueling, much like ali vs foreman. i used the rope a dope strategy and just waited it out occasionally pressing my lower abdomen for support. another round of brown, making this officially a 2-flusher ensued. when it was over i looked to the heavens with a smirk on my face. i left the casino bathroom nodding at my audience at the urinals. the storm was over, i'd survived.
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Old 05-15-2014, 09:44 AM   #128 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 07-01-2014, 02:47 AM   #129 (permalink)
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I just had the fight of my life. This turd felt like a sausage-shaped rock in my colon. The kind that's too wide to comfortably fit through your sphincter, while being too hard to squish through. I haven't had to struggle like that in years. At one point I was tensing so hard I got light-headed. My nose actually started tingling too. I didn't even know that was thing. And it came in installments too, so I couldn't just force the whole thing down in one giant push. I had to get one piece out, and then expend extra time and effort to get the next one to the batting cage. But when all was said and done I was victorious. I guess one benefit of this rock-hard poo was that it left no **** on my *******, so wiping was pretty easy, though it did leave a nasty glob of some kind of mucous. Yeah, that was pretty grody.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 07-01-2014, 06:54 PM   #130 (permalink)
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Welp.

I've lost my appetite. Why did I think visiting this thread would be a good idea at dinner time?
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