Music Banter - The Relationship Thread.

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I wish I had a better response than this but,

his actions aren't your fault. from what you've shared, it sounds like you're in a dangerous relationship that it might best to get out of.

I dunno man. I did forget his birthday after all.

i understand that you might feel like you do but no one deserves abuse. i don't know how to assure you of that but to an extent i understand the appeal. what i've found to help me is surrounding myself (or at least trying to) with people who are compassionate and supportive rather than dismissive and/or abusive. this guy sounds dangerous, are you truly willing to accept that level of threat in a relationship?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian (Post 1585246)

I have more friends now than I've had at any point before in my life, but I've never been so profoundly lonely as I have the past two months. Having dozens of friends is the same as having none, most days, except it comes with an awareness of that loneliness.

It doesn't help that my neuroses are driving away the friends I do have, because I can't resolve my emotional problems and they're getting bored of listening to them.

I think I'm rounding the bend on depression again, which is the one thing that scares me most in the world.

As with Steph, I'm here if you need to talk.

It's the guilt that gets me. He gave up everything to move here, if we split I'll have ruined his life. I apparently have lowered his self esteem because I never have anything to say to him and don't give him enough affection, which makes me feel freaking awful. I hurt him all the time, though I don't mean to. And I never do anything right, even when I try my hardest.

hopefully i'm not out of line to say this but it seems like you're trading your personal safety for his feelings, which are unrequited. you don't owe this guy anything, especially not if he's acting the way he does.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fifty Foot Queenie (Post 1585997)

To be fair, the really effed up things he's done happen when I've made him angry. Sometimes his anger is totally legit - I've lied to him about parts of my past (issues with drugs, having an abortion), I've done things behind his back because I think his demands are unreasonable (like listening to music or drinking socially), and I've done some really stupid things that I try to hide once the mania passes and reality kicks in. The thing is, he's vicious when angry and some of the things he's done seem out of proportion to my crimes. He's set fire to things I cherish and put out the flames by urinating on them. He's sexually humiliated me and he's said some truly awful stuff too. But, I drove him to it. He's hacked my social media and read my journals, but I did the things he discovered so I can't get mad about the violation of privacy, even if the last time I made an entry was two years before we met. I'm really stupid and that frustrates him too. Basically, we probably wouldn't have the issues we do if I was a better girlfriend.

this is straight gold, what are you a copy writer for Conan?

Quote:

Originally Posted by anticipation (Post 1586017)

this is straight gold, what are you a copy writer for Conan?

Totally

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fifty Foot Queenie (Post 1586019)

Totally

Stop blaming yourself. Can you live without him? He sounds like a jackass, and you sound completely unhappy. Don't remain stuck in a relationship that you don't want to move forward with.

Not saying what it is at this point, but I'm predicting something.