Great Expectations

[Scarlett O'Hara]

Do you MBers feel as though many to most people do not meet your expectations of them? I feel as though I've met way too many people who expect so much of me that ends up bothering them immensely when I don't deliver. I suppose my expectations are high of people also, perhaps this is a way of protecting ourselves? What do you peeps think?

[cardboard adolescent]

I think it's inevitable when we don't actually love people, but love the way they can make us feel. There is nothing out there that will make you feel happy all the time, the happiness has to come from within.

[Freebase Dali]

I have a habit of promising people things I can't or won't deliver. So yes.
It usually stems from me being drunk and wanting to do 101 things for everyone I see and when I sober up I realize I've bitten off more than I can chew, so naturally people get let down... although it's never anything major.

I think my biggest one was promising this girl I'd go see her and she lives 5 too many states away, and she got all excited then the next day I had to tell her I was just drunk and there was no way I could do it... not that I didn't want to... the girl is smokin' hot and cool to boot..
She hated me for a while, but I guess I didn't lose much anyway. Still, I hate being a disappointment in any way so I've been having to learn how to maintain a realistic perspective when I'm on the sauce. And that's pretty damn hard.

[VEGANGELICA]

And I remember I was so excited, too!



Vanilla, I find that the only person I ever really disappoint is myself. When that happens, I try to change my behaviors that I don't like, but I don't expect perfection in myself...or in others.

In friendships I guess I have faith that friends will do the best they can, given who they are, just like I do the best I can, given who I am and my limitations. If people can't be the people I want them to be, that is not their fault at all. I'd rather get to know who they really are, anyway, than expect them to be something they are not.

Like Cardboard Adolescent said, I feel happiness comes from within. If I find myself relying on someone else for happiness, this tells me I am probably trying to avoid something in my own life that I haven't changed but want to.

When someone does go above and beyond what I might expect, though, it does feel really nice! Like an unexpected present.

I actually think having few expectations of people is a way to protect oneself or to just be realistic. The main people in my life don't fall short of my expectations or hopes in many ways...and some of them go far beyond my expectations. My main expectation for friends is that they will try to be honest and won't go out of their way to hurt me. They mean well and know I do, too.

[CanwllCorfe]

I don't expect much of anything from anyone. When they do end up coming through for me it's a bonus. People don't expect much from me for one reason or another. I couldn't tell you why. I think it may just be that a lot of people I socialize with tend to be self reliant so they very rarely ask for anything except maybe to hang out. That's about it. When they do need me I'm there.. but for some reason it seems they like to reach out to a-holes that they know won't deliver so they can complain and post a Facebook status about their disappointment.

I've never felt that I had to reach any standards except maybe in my design class. Everyone kept complementing me that I was way ahead for having never taken any courses on it. So every time there was a project I felt pressure and then I always had to come up with something amazing. But.. nothing I couldn't handle.

[pourmeanother]

I've found it's better to temper my expectations of anything in life. I'm either spot on, or occasionally pleasantly surprised... both of which are better than being pretty consistently disappointed.

[Janszoon]

All I ask is that people don't block my driveway. But they still let me down, the lazy bastards.

[crash_override]

I like to lay low and keep expectations low, then spring out like a cheetah and surprise the **** out of people. It's much more effective than selling yourself high and performing at a low level I think.

[SATCHMO]

Originally Posted by cardboard adolescent

I think it's inevitable when we don't actually love people, but love the way they can make us feel. There is nothing out there that will make you feel happy all the time, the happiness has to come from within.

This.... precisely this.

Cardboard, have you been hitting up the ashrams lately?

[cardboard adolescent]

i should be... :\