TFW you're smoking a cigarette in the backyard, and a bird craps on your shoulder. HOW?! I haven't been crapped on by a bird since I was, like, six or something, and now twice in less than a week? **** this ****.

:laughing:

● Bird poop brings good luck! There is a belief that if a bird poops on you, your car or your property, you may receive good luck and riches. The more birds involved, the richer you’ll be! So next time a bird poops on you, remember that it’s a good thing.

Superstitions | teatime magazine

I like to imagine you as Ricky from Trailer Park Boys in this scenario.

TFW it's hot at work and your balls are so sweaty that they feel like they've been dipped in butter.

You don't keep your butter in the fridge?

I definitely spent an inordinate amount of time standing in the walk-in freezer, pretending to be doing something useful.

When I worked at McDonalds I would sneak into the freezer and eat frozen chocolate chip cookies at least twice a day.

Hell yeah. But after a while it gets old and you start tempting fate by making sausage and cheese biscuits with barbecue sauce right under the boss' nose, just to feel something.

Ahh, it was Jr. Chickens with Thai Sauce for me, but I've definitely been there. Fortunately for me it was the sloppiest fast-food restaurant on planet Earth and 4/5 managers/assistant managers didn't even care.

Same here, except the ones that do care don't care enough to actually do their job, so I get to do whatever the hell I want while my slacker manager sits in the office talking on the phone to who-the-****-cares.