tfw you don't believe in magic and experience paranormal, supernatural, and unexplainable occurrences on the daily. Gee, world view. You never seemed so shattered. In closure, if the lady in the red dress, black stockings, heels, long black hair, and oversized conical straw hat could stop stalking me and appearing in oblong places that would be great. Your waves from your perched gargoyelesque pose on the electrical box above the garage and across the street are frightening and flattering but I'd rather keep my sanity.

https://www.backyardchickens.com/

I've been a member for a few years now. I have zero chickens.

I think I've browsed that site's forum a lot; I'll have to join too. I really don't understand why the mundane details of strangers' chickens and chicken personalities are so riveting to me, but I don't want to fight it. I cannot fight it.

I think my preoccupation with chickens stems from my appreciation for Buckethead.

I helped raise backyard chickens before. That was about 6 years ago and can barely remember any of it but it was alright. Tasted a little different from store bought eggs.

My dad has chickens and I hope he kills himself.

At least he doesn't have crabs.

TFW you're talking to yourself and you realize that you didn't even say a real sentence, so now you're crazy AND incoherent.

I'm feeling weirdly weird

Tfw you're lying awake at 3:43 am because you're craving smoked salmon with the intensity of a thousand suns. (I can't go out and buy more because I already spent too much on smoked salmon earlier this week. I think I might be a bear.)