Either that or your parents visited when you weren't home. Your mother gave you Hot Pockets and your dad tried to fix your light switch.

That's sexist.

Probably the FBI installing a surveillance device to monitor you while you're at home. :cool:

The agent was most likely a rookie and didn't do a thorough job.

The Hot Pockets are probably laced with some type of drug. I'd throw those out ASAP.

TFW you try to spit in your trash can but it hits the wall.

omg men are so ****ing gross

In my defense I'm getting over a cold and coughing up so much throat splooge it's gotta go somewhere.

Couldn't make it to the bathroom?

I'm not going the the bathroom every 30 seconds.

Not yet

I go to the bathroom once every couple hours but it's for like a half hour cause I bring comics to read. Pisses my mom the **** off tbh.