Couldn't make it to the bathroom?

I'm not going the the bathroom every 30 seconds.

Not yet

I go to the bathroom once every couple hours but it's for like a half hour cause I bring comics to read. Pisses my mom the **** off tbh.

You could have gone for a pun there but no
My disappointment is immeasurable

The self-clowning wasn't enough for you?

Consider my high demands a sign of high esteem.

Consider my low accomplishments a sign of low esteem.

Tfw you have one blueberry left on the plate and you try to stab it with a fork and it jumps off the plate, on to the floor, and rolls under the fridge as you think to yourself: "I hope you have a good life under there buddy. Go now. Go and become penicillin".

I thought you were gonna feel: "I knew this wouldnt work, why havent I learned after the 100th time and just used my hands!"