Tfw you have a huge gig tomorrow and you haven't practiced at all.

Wear something low-cut to distract the audience. (Worked for Elvis...)

TFW your ******* neighbor passively-aggressively drives by your house at Mach speed every time your husband's vehicle is gone... He must have whipped out his dusty dictionary and discovered that I wasn't complimenting him when I told him he's a "sociopathic redneck narcissist."

Tfw half of the members here want to be coddled and the other half wants to make fun of them for it and we all want both of you to stfu about it.

Everyone here likes ripping everyone apart... It's why we come here; being ripped apart oneself is merely part of the package. What problem do you have against consentual proverbial warfare?

The boo hooing on one side and the smugness of the other.

And for those of us that, at any given moment, can fall into either category? Your quaint psychological jokes are excruciating to those of us who managed to pass Psych101 without dropping our drawers.

I make psychology jokes? I'll put links up in the future I guess.

I was more or less just being an antagonistic **** :D You should know this about me by now.

Good because I don't believe in psychology or sociology.

Just because you didn't drop your drawers doesn't mean somebody else didn't right in front of you.

No drawers were dropped. Is your life somehow better now, knowing this?

I'm a little disappointed, actually.

I'm full of disappointments... Just ask my parents.

TFW you're listening to dark ambient and you listen to ten minutes of silence before realizing that the song is over.

TFW you listen to a Grindcore album and it takes 10 minutes before you realize you have music playing in your iTunes library and on YouTube.

I've done that too, thinking "wow, the jazz element is really interesting."

Of course you don't.

I think I made that post after hearing someone unironically say "I don't know if you're a scientist, psychologist, sociologist, or both but [**** Obama and global warming is fake stuff here]."

Of course you did.

Your mother

TFW you wanna go down on a woman in the shower but she's got a boyfriend. Damn. Shoulda said something sooner.

You're probably already in if you're showering together.

For your own sake, you better hope her man is nothing like mine... Of course, if he were, she wouldn't be in the shower with you to begin with.

We use the same shower, haventnshowered togetherunfortunately. He needs her more than I do really, that boy iseems lost.

you're listening o a song, you find out a famous man dies, and the song fits the situation very well yet it is also a really bad song for the situation.

you see a woman who looks good in leopard print. A rare occasion.

In other words, she has nice titties and booty meat.

In other words, she has everything about her.

TFW you're eating the best sushi in town, and the restaurant owner is hanging out at your table talking, and then the sushi arrives so you politely offer him some... to which he replies "No, thank you, I don't eat raw fish." :yikes:

TFW you're taking a piss in your bathroom that looks out on your backyard, and you hear a dog bark nearby, and you're like, "Dumb dog. Now I'm gonna have to go get her inside and give her some Twizzlers to keep her quiet."

And then you remember your dog is dead and it's just the neighbor's mutt.

Tfw you feed a pomegranate to a cow and it looks like a vegan PSA.

Ummmm... cow rumen are not really made to digest such foods. They're not like horses or swine.

It's just gonna die anyway what's the point.

Now it's a vegan PSA.

I love nihilism!

tfw eating curry for breakfast :cool:

bitch stay down wind of me.