Dear Satan,

9/10

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/8045...-Zep-Final.png

Bellzebub,

Chula

Dear Chula,

I've tried and tried and tried to perfect my recipe for stuffed baby, but I just can't seem to get the sauce right. Is there a perfect balance between the fresh baby's blood and tomato base that I'm somehow missing?

Thanks,
Hungry In Milwaukee

^ :laughing:

Hey Milwaukee,

You need to experiment with a version of this.

Pat's Beer Can Grilled Chicken Recipe : Patrick and Gina Neely : Food Network

http://islandvittles.com/wp-content/...an-chicken.jpg

Lemon pepper baby,

Chula

Dear Cthulha,

Some dude on a music forum changed his avatar. The new one is pretty rad, but the last one was a tentacly depiction of Lovecraft. Are you going to kick his ass for this?

-Mr. Johansen

If I was to opine on myself the universe would collapse.

Next.

Dear Chula

I got my head caught in a jar of mayonnaise. What should I do? I feel like I'm drowning in it, and it's hard to type when my vision is blocked by mayonnaise.

Regards, Sergio Leone

Dear Chula,

I personally don't care, but assuming I were to be in an orgy with some less highly evolved individuals who might take offence if we were to "cross swords", what would be the etiquette?

Sincerely,
Debauched in Seattle

Dear Sergio,

You need help.

Chula



Dear Debauched,

Best bet would be to shove your finger up the nearest anus.

Stinky digits,

Chula

Dear Chula

I just found a dead guy with a mayonnaise jar over his head sitting at his computer. The last words he typed were "Francis Ford Coppola can suck it", which he typed over and over again. Actually, he might have just copy and pasted it.

Should I contact the authorities or dispose of the body myself?

Regards, Ennio Morricone

Dear Chula,

I want to masturbate in front of my Grandma. Do you think she will like it?

Regards,

The Batlord

Dear Ennio,

Time out.

Chula


Dear Bat,

:crazy:

Chula

Dear Chula,

Some skank is impersonating me on the internet. I know it's wrong to hit a woman, but is it also wrong to drive a '68 El Camino with a trunk full of pig shit through her living room?

Sincerely,
Parked a block from her house

Dear PABFHH,

Slam that bitch off side the head.

(eeek, kidding.)

Once stole an El Camino - really,

Chula

Dear Chula,

Tell us about stealing the El Camino.

Signed,
Curious

Dear Curious,

Ran away from home with another dude. Came across a running El Camino with the owner nowhere to be found - at a factory in the middle of the night. Jumped in and drove away.

Nucking futs,

Chula

Dear Chula,

How would you take over the world?

Sincerely,
Pinky and the Brain

Holy shit.

Dear Pinky,

:ar_15s::ar_15s::ar_15s::ar_15s::ar_15s::ar_15s:

I'd f*cking nuke the entire thing. Let the roaches figure it out. We're not worthy.

F*ck me,

Chula

Dear Chula,

What does it mean if a girl is very affectionate in person but never texts first to innitiate the meet up?

Also, do you have to both agree that you are dating before it becomes cheating to see someone else at the same time?

Yours faithfully,

Dan Bilzerian

Dear Chula,

Are keyboard solos okay?

-Chad Adolph Bengtsson

He'd better say yes.

:laughing:

I think I hit a nerve. ;)

:laughing:

:laughing:

Or,

Dear Chula,

Is it okay if I throw a few more models of a roof? The last one got me so much press.

Regards,

Dan Bilzerian.

Even though it probably isn't this threads actual purpose I'm going to use it to get real life advice. I'm definitely not mature enough to make real life decisions without someone telling me what to do...

I am so hurt that you didn't call me. I am sotally tober and can answer the phone now.

I usually would have called you but I'm staying with some people at the moment so I can't. Don't want them hearing all the kinky **** that I get up to.

Chile please they already know.



(Seriously tho text me I am up, obviously.)

Dear Chula,

How can I appreciably expand my vocabulary as fast as possible?

-The cutest little Norse boy

Sorry for not keeping up on this. Still really under the weather.

Be back soon.

Donnie "Snotty Left Eye" B.

Dear Chula,

Sick. Woke up with ten gallons of thick, green phlegm stuck to my throat. Feels like I ate razor wire. How best to make my throat feel human again?

Yours truly,

*hack, hack, cough, cough, hock, ptooey!*

Dear Dan,

Be a dude and you initiate a hook up. Cheating rules vary from state to state. Check with your local magistrate.

*cough*

Chula

Dear Chad,

F*ck yeah!

*sniff*

Chula

Dear Bilz,

Toss as many porn starlets off as you'd like. Just next time post follow up x-rays of the damage.

*hack*

Chula

Dear TCLNB,

Read hard core philosophy books with a dictionary close by. Also read this too.

Fox in Socks - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

*sneeze*

Chula

Dear HHCCHP,

My heart bleeds for you.....

*cough cough*

Chula

Dear Chula,

Do you regret not getting a flu shot?

Sincerely,
Andrew Wakefield

Dear Andrew,

Hadn't gotten a shot or the flu in ages. I think this was a case of me not having the chance early on to get rest and let my body take care of it. We had the coldest week here in eons and with Linda down and out I've been constantly on the go and having to go outside all the time to walk the dogs (we have 3 at the moment since we're babysitting my daughters).

About 95% back in the game,

Chula

Dear Chula,

King of the Hill or The Simpsons?

Yours truly,

Rusty Shackleford

Dear Rusty,

Funny Girl.

Don't mess with Babs,
Chula

Dear Chula,

So. I'm either infatuated with, having a crush on, or lusting after my coworker. I don't know. She seems interested. I worry though because I'm not sure if I'm into her for the right reasons. Part of me says FIDLAR, take a chance. What's the worst that could happen? The other part of me says dude, she's your coworker. If it goes bad you're gonna be in tight quarters for hours on end with someone who might end up hating your guts, is it worth it to pursue that when you could be with or hooking up with someone that poses less risk? I'm not trippin too hard but dude, I'm kinda trippin. What do I do?

Dear ________________

Tough one. What hours do you work together? Is it possible to ask her out for something really innocent like a quick bite? Then you can see how it goes from there. I met my wife at work and here we are 35 years later so it can work.

I'd say give it a go but very, very slowly. If she keeps reacting positively you can keep cranking things up. If you start catching negative vibes you just dial everything back.

Good luck either way.

Suddenly Serious,
Chula

Schedules change weekly. So far we usually end up having two of the same days together. We like a lot of the same music so I've been thinking of asking her if she wants to catch a show together or something. I'm runnin toward the FIDLAR side of things... We're both reasonable, chill people. I can't really **** it up if I keep myself in shape around booze if I end up hangin with her after hours. TBH I'm not even sure she can drink.

Oh god, more raw vegan ****?

Dear Chula,

Which can rock harder, an acoustic guitar or a grand piano?