Chula Vista

Dear Satan,

9/10



Bellzebub,

Chula

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Blarobbarg

Dear Chula,

I've tried and tried and tried to perfect my recipe for stuffed baby, but I just can't seem to get the sauce right. Is there a perfect balance between the fresh baby's blood and tomato base that I'm somehow missing?

Thanks,
Hungry In Milwaukee

__________________

Isbjørn

^

__________________

Chula Vista

Hey Milwaukee,

You need to experiment with a version of this.

Pat's Beer Can Grilled Chicken Recipe : Patrick and Gina Neely : Food Network



Lemon pepper baby,

Chula

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Isbjørn

Dear Cthulha,

Some dude on a music forum changed his avatar. The new one is pretty rad, but the last one was a tentacly depiction of Lovecraft. Are you going to kick his ass for this?

-Mr. Johansen

__________________

Chula Vista

If I was to opine on myself the universe would collapse.

Next.

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

DeadChannel

Dear Chula

I got my head caught in a jar of mayonnaise. What should I do? I feel like I'm drowning in it, and it's hard to type when my vision is blocked by mayonnaise.

Regards, Sergio Leone

The Batlord

Dear Chula,

I personally don't care, but assuming I were to be in an orgy with some less highly evolved individuals who might take offence if we were to "cross swords", what would be the etiquette?

Sincerely,
Debauched in Seattle

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Chula Vista

Dear Sergio,

You need help.

Chula



Dear Debauched,

Best bet would be to shove your finger up the nearest anus.

Stinky digits,

Chula

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

DeadChannel

Dear Chula

I just found a dead guy with a mayonnaise jar over his head sitting at his computer. The last words he typed were "Francis Ford Coppola can suck it", which he typed over and over again. Actually, he might have just copy and pasted it.

Should I contact the authorities or dispose of the body myself?

Regards, Ennio Morricone