Almost didn't go into school today on 2 hours of sleep. Today was a good day, a frien dof mine gave me a Dinosaur Jr. shirt for my birthday. My younger sister starts her first drum lesson today so that means sooner or later they'll be a good excuse to have a drum set in the house.

Made the lamest car accident possible. In the underground parking of Uni, returning our way home, and after my friends and I were making fun of each other, each got in his car and drove backwards and of course drove into each other. When we got out of the cars, there wasn't even any damage on any of the cars. Lame!

I had the ****tiest weekend ever. First, I got to wake up early on Saturday to go take a 3 1/2 hour test. Then I got to go on a plane to my aunts funeral in Michigan. All very joyful as you can imagine.

The only upside is that I got to miss school today, but most of it was spent on a plane so it doesn't matter.

For the first time in a while I had a productive day. I finally got my ass into gear and went to the dentist to sort out my toothache that has been plaguing me for nearly 3 weeks. I managed to treat myself to a CD and DVD. I am still not working a year later after being made redundant so I am starting voluntary charity work on Friday to give something back and feel worthwhile. I also made an awesome orange, basil and cous cous chicken salad on a bed of pea shoots that has given me some much needed vitamins. Probably destroying them now with a few beers though :(

The beer may not contribute physically, but boy does it contribute mentally.
You deserve it, bud.
Ain't no sense in living life if you limit yourself to doing it strictly physically right?

It's all about balance my friend and todays endeavours deserve a beer or two! I still don't get how the world looks better after a few beers but depressing after doubling the load :(

Meh, I never get depressed on alcohol. I'm not sure if there are physical/chemical factors involved in the brain, or if it's dependent on the general mental state at the time of consumption, but I would venture to guess that the reason behind drinking has an effect on the outcome.
Basically, if you're drinking to have fun, you'll have fun. But if you're drinking to escape the emotional weight of a problem, you may eventually circle back around to it.
I'm no expert, but it's the general trend I seem to notice.
A lot of the time, I think regular drinkers don't really know why they drink. Most times regular drinkers may give themselves an acceptable excuse, but sometimes it may be something a little deeper and more influential that they're choosing to not acknowledge.
If you find yourself always ending up with an emotional common denominator when you drink, it may be worth it to analyze that denominator and evaluate whether that has any connection to your motivation for drinking.

I'm using "you" in a general sense, obviously, but I think it's a solid way of thinking if you think it's worth looking at.
Basically it comes down to challenging yourself and questioning your own motives. Always a good thing. And a lot of times you find answers to questions you never knew were there.

All the best
J.

To make my day even more of a piss off, the guy who told me was selling his keyboard to me went ahead and sold it to someone else. People are worthless.

The fun ended around 2001 I think! I get what you are saying but there is no apparent reason for partaking at all but you can only have so much fun with drinking I guess and the longer it goes on, the more it becomes a genuine habit and an easy way out of accepting who you are.

I have drunk since I was 15 and by that I mean a lot. I'm now 37 and still at it. Oddly enough it has never ever got in the way of day to day functioning and I very very rarely drink during the day but I think it's a personal triumph if I manage 2 nights in a row without drinking. I think it's classed as 'Alcohol Dependant' or some such crap by the 'ordinary folk'.

Is this an MB 'AA' meeting? I feel like I'm in confession! I do know WHY I drink though and it's not some deep seated personal hatred etc I just feel more confident and alive when I have had a few for some reason. MEH. In the morning I will cringe when I read this back!

Nah man I know exactly how you feel. Although I've only been drinking since I was 18 and now it's only been 10 years, going on 11, I've found myself drinking every day just to be interested in the day. I would get home, and I'd have to drink just to feel excited about anything. It got to a point where I wouldn't be able to be very social with anyone unless I was drinking. If I hadn't had a few, I'd be totally uninterested.
Having some drinks made life interesting.
That's the end all of it. I know you know what I'm talking about.
And yea, I never had any of the classic "signs you're an alcoholic" like disrupting work, home, or neglecting responsibilities... but there's a definite need to rely on the effects of alcohol that can fly under the radar and lead you to a dependence you're not even aware of.

Heh... it's definitely starting to sound like AA, but it really is true. I made a pact with myself to stop drinking during the week, mostly because I want to get back to my healthy weight and I've started eating right again and exercising regularly, but I've noticed that after 2 weeks of only drinking Friday night and a little Saturday night, I'm feeling a lot better during the week, I'm more productive, I feel better mentally, and I look forward to my weekends a lot more.
It's a significant change for me, and it's one that I want to keep. It's hard to not grab a sixer sometimes on the way home from school, and I find myself trying to make excuses like "Well I aced all my mid-terms, so I should drink"... but the reward of not giving in has really proven to be more satisfying.

I dunno...
Everyone's situation is different, but I've found that when I don't drink to solve a problem, my drinking experience is always positive.

:)