Yeah, we all did.

I'm so used to reading through your mutant spelling that I knew what the typo meant and my brain just fixed it.

very true....

banana load ahahaha...

I wrote my brother a letter today. He's in jail for a bunch of drug related reasons that some of you are aware of. I liked my letter.

Ryan,

Sorry I haven't written in a while. Along with being busy, I've been sick the last couple of days. It's Sunday, August 10th, as I write this which means that your court date is coming up in five days. Excited? I can only imagine how anxious you must be to get out of there. It's been a long time. Just over two months. I don't want to envision a scenario where the amount of time you've spent in jail/prison reaches years. It's a strong possibility though. I mean, I don't think you would fail like that. I have high hopes that when you get home your life is going to start to turn around but it's healthy to know that an eight year prison term is what you're up against. Two and a half months is nothing compared to that but I know you know that. I'm warning you right now, I'm going to ramble in this a lot. I wanted the last letter to you to be longer than usual. I also apologize that there were no short stories attached to this. I honestly couldn't find any good ones.

Thanks for the birthday card. I'll admit, you made me get emotional. I didn't expect it all and when I read it I realized how long it's been since I saw you. It's been over two months. This is the longest I've ever gone without seeing you. In our whole lives. That's a long time man. Hopefully this streak ends soon. I know that Mom and Dad have been coming to see you at the jail. You told me on the phone that you weren't upset, but I know you are. I meant what I said. It really isn't personal. I guess, in a way, I just don't want to see you in a jailhouse jumpsuit. I think it would kind of kill me. I've tried really hard to make sure you didn't end up in a place like that and I think seeing you would make me think I've failed you as an older brother. I know you don't think this is the case, but it just has been really bothering me and has led to me not coming.
I'm sorry. I promise that when you go to rehab, if they allow visitors, I'll be there. It'll also help that I'll ACTUALLY be able to see you instead of on a computer monitor. I know this letter is most likely screened, so let me say respectably to whomever is reading this letter, that visitation system put in place at this facility is borderline inhumane. We want to actually be able to see our family members. I understand that most people in jail have done wrong things, Ryan included, but I would like to actually be able to speak to my brother without having to pay for a Skype session. Thanks

Sorry Ry, that had to be said. I don't really have much to update you on me. Me and Beth are still working things out. I've actually been really happy lately and while we're not back together, I feel we are going to be soon. You're not the only person in this family who ****s things up. I ****ed a lot of thing up with her and I'm finally starting to fix them. I thought you should know that. I'm sure you watched both of the Giants preseason games. Poor David Wilson. That kid could have been great. Jenning looks good though. We lost Kendall Hunter for the year and LaMichael James hurt his elbow. Injury bugs suck.
Oh! I bought a camera! Like, a real digital SLR camera. The ones that professionals use. Guess how much it cost. GUESS!
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$700
I'm both happy and sad. Hopefully it turns out to be a good decision. I think I'd be a good photographer. We'll see.

Eddie got CJ a dartboard for his birthday. So essentially, I got a dartboard for CJs birthday. I'm getting very good at it. Whiskey and darts are bad. Never combine these two activities. Speaking of whiskey, I drunkenly jumped on top of a wooden pallet that was perched on top of a fire pit while I was at Kraers cabin. I didn't get burned, but I did hyperextend my knee. No hospital (please take note of that Ryan), but I am still having trouble walking right. This was three weeks ago. Isn't being a Smith awesome? To cap off the alcohol related talk, I owe my little brother ONE/UNO/SINGLE beer at a bar because it's your birthday. I know I havent sent you a card, you win in that regard, but I'll make up for it when you get out of rehab. You get ONE beer and then when you're a stable functioning adult after a while of rehab and stable jobs, we will get drunk at a bar and have somebody pick us up. You have to work for that though.

SO....

I would like to have my brother back when you get out of rehab. That letter that you wrote Mom/Dad, and the letter that you wrote me, was written by my brother Ryan. It wasn't written by the kid who does heroin and steals from his family. It wasn't written by the kid who lies and manipulates emotions to get what he wants. It was written by my brother Ryan. I haven't seen him in a LONG time. You may have been in Jail for only two and a half months, but I haven't seen my brother in like two and a half years. Those letters shocked me. It was a voice I haven't heard/read in a long time. I want that person back. I hope that he's the person I come see in a few weeks. I can't stand the other guy anymore. I don't think you can either am I right?

I wanted to get things off my chest and I think I have. I have told the jail that they suck in some regards and I have hopefully made you laugh. I think this is one of my better letters. I hope whomever is screening this letter doesn't take what I said personally. Hopefully you actually get this letter. If you don't, I have a copy.

Good luck on Friday. I'm not going to be there because I have work, but I'll be there in spirit hoping for a good outcome. I'll see you soon I hope. I love you very much. You're the only little brother I have and you still haven't lost me as your big brother. We have the rest of our lives to become closer as siblings and friends. You just need to get your **** together. You will. I know you will. I'll be damned if I have a brother that I never talk to. I'll kick your ass before I do that. You know I can take a punch. I'll beef up and take you to chinatown bitch. It won't come to that though. You'll do it on your own. See? Rambling. Love you.

Joey

Heavy stuff, Joe. Hopin things work out for Ryan and you guys can be pals again.

You guys crack me up. It makes me think of going for a poop, I need to go for a banana load today that's for sure!

Sure babe, I'll beam it up to you! I hope you like pink icing?

Good stuff, I used to always work Sundays as a teenager.

Today I ****ing owned life. I got help through a agency called work bridge who help people with disabilities find work. The lady was lovely and she was so happy that I was educated, passionate, bubbly and had a lot of skills that we could write down for the CV she will write me. She's going to be in touch with jobs that I can do that hopefully will only been one day a week.

The next amazing thing is I signed a deal with a client who owns a Korean restaurant who will let me do his social media so I can help his business pick up in numbers of customers coming in. I'll also will give him further exposure online, while also reaching the Korean community to help them utilise it as a great meeting place with delicious food.

I joined up with a new doctors practice as the one I was at originally lied about my doctor leaving by saying he was on leave when he had actually formed his own practice with his wife. So I saw my Dr and we had a long chat about my situation and I hope to also help him with his social media too. I got a bucket full of medications to pick up tomorrow and he gave me sleeping pills which I've taken 3 tablets tonight its made me high as ****! I was talking such random **** to my flatmates about my goals and plans (hopefully they don't know I'm high out of my brain) while making a spontaneous french toast covered in maple syrup and chocolate whip. My flatmate and I had a glass of wine and a quick chat which was nice and now with the alcohol I'm totally out of my brain.

I'm probably going to sleep so good tonight!

^ thats all well and good but where is the banana load?

Either it's in her pants or she's just happy to see us.

It's still in her bowels.

Are you so worried about it because you want a Cleveland steamer?