I live near the beach so it gets swoll up with drunk high school and college kids during spring break. Local losers don’t exactly have to be Casanova to spy one down willing to do a little something something they wouldn’t do back at home seeing as they’re on vacay. So let’s say I scour the beach everyday until I find one just in that sweet spot of poor decision making and take her back to my apartment and slip it in her. Now let’s say I pull the condom off last second when she thinks I’m just finding her sweet spot. And let’s say I have a few diseases. Now let’s say I get tired so I hire an army of nasty dudes to do it for me. Those guys are like timeshare salesmen.

:D

Always be closing...

Such a classic. Another along similar lines.

For real. Take the ****ing postal exam. Retirement health insurance

Get sick of it go postal

Like, does that count mailmen? Cause a job where I don't have to deal with people, don't have to sit/stand in a soulless building, and can rub my nuts on everyone's mail sounds pretty good with a 100% pay raise.

I know several mail carriers who love the job and make great money

You gotta pass a drug test first.

I feel like a loser for being able to pass that test right here and now.

I installed a new graphics card (GTX 1060 6GB) and got a new monitor (HP Pavilion 32" LED QHD) today. What an amazing difference. No wonder I was losing my eye sight.