Fetishes, sexual repression, polyamory vs monogamy etc. discussion

~~Cuthbert~~ · 02-08-2017, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

I would wonder about that. If you're a paedophile isn't it endemic that you molest children? They can't (legally) consent, so surely it's molestation either way, at least in the eyes of the law.

A paedophile has a sexual attraction to prepubescent children. Doesn't have to do any actual noncing to be a paedophile.

**Frownland** · 02-08-2017, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

I would wonder about that. If you're a paedophile isn't it endemic that you molest children?

No. You can have urges that you never act on. These are the people that researching and understanding paedophilia will help.

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As for the last sentence, well perhaps what I mean is it's not as accepted or understood a fetish as some of the more mainstream ones. Maybe. I certainly would not consider it a legitimate fetish, and would never want to see it being given any kind of legitimacy.

Sounds like a double standard to me.

Trollheart · 02-08-2017, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

No. You can have urges that you never act on. These are the people that researching and understanding paedophilia will help.

I see. I was not aware of that.

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Sounds like a double standard to me.

I really don't care what it sounds like to you. I have no time for paedophilia in any way, just as I would have no time for necrophilia. If they are fetishes, they're a whole lot different than dressing up as a squirrel and calling yourself Nutkin.

Whatever the case is, whatever your view, I still maintain it's ignorant (intentional or not) to equate all fetishes with sexual disorders and blindly link them to paedophilia. It's not just a vanilla world you know.

**Frownland** · 02-08-2017, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

I really don't care what it sounds like to you. I have no time for paedophilia in any way, just as I would have no time for necrophilia. If they are fetishes, they're a whole lot different than dressing up as a squirrel and calling yourself Nutkin.

Whatever the case is, whatever your view, I still maintain it's ignorant (intentional or not) to equate all fetishes with sexual disorders and blindly link them to paedophilia. It's not just a vanilla world you know.

What is the distinction between a fetish and a sexual disorder for you? Personally, I think that there is some overlap but again, that absolutely does not mean that every fetish is good or bad or otherwise. Each thing should be considered on its own account, because duh. I consider paedophilia to be both a fetish and a disorder. I don't think that the amount of repulsion I have to something changes what it's called.

The Batlord · 02-08-2017, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

This is mainly my point. While he may (and I'm sure does) not mean to, Tristan makes a definite connection between all fetishes and paedophilia. It's just not the same thing.

I would wonder about that. If you're a paedophile isn't it endemic that you molest children? They can't (legally) consent, so surely it's molestation either way, at least in the eyes of the law. Did you see Broadchurch? As for the last sentence, well perhaps what I mean is it's not as accepted or understood a fetish as some of the more mainstream ones. Maybe. I certainly would not consider it a legitimate fetish, and would never want to see it being given any kind of legitimacy.

Inned.

I'm sure there are pedophiles who never touch children because their morality trumps their sexual desires. How many pedos are like this I have no idea, and I suspect nobody does, cause the only way anyone ever really gets outed is if they get caught diddling. No one with common sense is ever going to admit it, so it's kind of difficult to study.

Trollheart · 02-08-2017, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

What is the distinction between a fetish and a sexual disorder for you? Personally, I think that there is some overlap but again, that absolutely does not mean that every fetish is good or bad or otherwise. Each thing should be considered on its own account, because duh. I consider paedophilia to be both a fetish and a disorder. I don't think that the amount of repulsion I have to something changes what it's called.

I obviously can't answer that. I don't really consider anything a sexual disorder, because what do you base it against? Missionary position, is this the starting point? Or man with woman? Or sex without any kind of violence even if consensual? I don't know. "What is normal" is I suppose the real question?

But I just have zero tolerance for paedophiles, like I think a lot of people. Sure, maybe there are those who will never act on their desires, but if, for instance, you knew one of these people were that way inclined and you knew them personally, and had kids, do you not think you would be careful/uncomfortable around them? On the other hand, if you know someone is into some sort of bedroom fun, be it dressing as Spiderman, using handcuffs, dressing as a baby, whatever, would you be as repulsed?

Going back to my main point: Tristan should not I believe have said "paedophilia and other sexual disorders", implying that all fetishes, no matter how harmless or how much they're kept private, are related to this, nor indeed that they're sexual disorders. Just because someone feels differently or likes non-mainstream things, are they then suffering from a sexual disorder? If you like Beefheart and I like Genesis, is either of us, in the eyes of the other, suffering from a musical disorder? No; we simply like different things, and we're free to do that. So it should be with sex. Who the hell wants to be normal anyway?

**Frownland** · 02-08-2017, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

I obviously can't answer that.

I believe that is because you're harboring a double standard. Paedophilia isn't a fetish because you think it's yucky? I'm gonna need better reasoning than that.

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Going back to my main point: Tristan should not I believe have said "paedophilia and other sexual disorders", implying that all fetishes, no matter how harmless or how much they're kept private, are related to this, nor indeed that they're sexual disorders. Just because someone feels differently or likes non-mainstream things, are they then suffering from a sexual disorder? If you like Beefheart and I like Genesis, is either of us, in the eyes of the other, suffering from a musical disorder? No; we simply like different things, and we're free to do that. So it should be with sex. Who the hell wants to be normal anyway?

Maybe you just suck at inferring

.

The Batlord · 02-08-2017, 12:02 PM

Maybe TH is just a creepy perv in hiding.

Trollheart · 02-08-2017, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

I believe that is because you're harboring a double standard. Paedophilia isn't a fetish because you think it's yucky? I'm gonna need better reasoning than that.

Maybe you just suck at inferring

.

No, you completely missed my point. I said how can ANYTHING be a sexual disorder? What do you measure it against? What IS normal? Over to you...

Edit: actually it would be fair to say paedophilia is not a fetish because it doesn't involve consent. BDSM is a fetish but without consent it's abuse/violence.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Maybe TH is just a creepy perv in hiding.

No maybe about it...

Why do you think I'm always hiding behind here?

**Frownland** · 02-08-2017, 12:24 PM

sexual disorder
1 any disorder involving sexual functioning, desire, or performance.
2
Etymology: DSM-IV
any such disorder that is caused at least in part by psychologic factors. Such a disorder characterized by a decrease or other disturbance of sexual desire is called a sexual dysfunction, and that characterized by unusual or bizarre sexual fantasies, urges, or practices is called paraphilia. Also called psychosexual disorder, psychosexual dysfunction.

I guess I'll ask you more directly: why is paedophilia not a fetish?

02-08-2017, 12:24 PM	#20 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,548	sexual disorder 1 any disorder involving sexual functioning, desire, or performance. 2 Etymology: DSM-IV any such disorder that is caused at least in part by psychologic factors. Such a disorder characterized by a decrease or other disturbance of sexual desire is called a sexual dysfunction, and that characterized by unusual or bizarre sexual fantasies, urges, or practices is called paraphilia. Also called psychosexual disorder, psychosexual dysfunction. I guess I'll ask you more directly: why is paedophilia not a fetish? __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x