Music Banter - The Relationship Thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2145217)

I think that's a big difference between guys and girls. We have no standards beyond a basic looks based standard. Sexually speaking. Our standard for an actual relationship is much more stringent.

I'm guessing this is maybe partly because it's a far simpler process for the average dude to get off than it is for most women. I would imagine that for a large portion of straight & bisexual women, the idea of having sex with a marginally attractive man is not necessarily going to be wildly enticing if they have no clue whether or not the guy will be competent or not sexually. Being mechanically thrusted at by a stranger with very little actual seduction, teasing or foreplay involved beforehand is really NOT appealing. Of course in the case of men and women who are already friends and are both reasonably attractive (to each other) -- I don't know, I for one have never seen the point in potentially ruining a perfectly fine friendship for the sake of sex if I could easily instead go for some acquaintance who I sense might be compatible with me in that regard -- because it is NOT just about physical attractiveness, at least for me-- it's FAR more about chemistry, like, visceral/magnetic chemistry that makes mutual seduction effortless as opposed to like pulling teeth as it would be with some random oaf hitting on me (NO attempt to actually charm or subtly seduce!! No mental/intellectual stimulation! Just oafish antics!) at the local dive bar.

edit: regarding wanting to have sex with online friends, sometimes there CAN be that inexplicable magnetic pull/strong attraction even before one knows what they look like or have spoken with them much. This was the case with my new bf. (and other online acquaintances before him, to a lesser degree) He joined our group chat like.. A year ago? Maybe less? Something like that. There were never any deep discussions in the main chat/anything that would give one an actually good picture of what they were like if you weren't friends with them IRL. And yet we both inexplicably felt a strange and intense pull toward one another over the course of 5 or so months before we even began a DM/talking in a smaller channel which obviously was intensified once we saw photos of each other finally after unsuccessfully googling. So, spooky chemistry is a real thing I think. I don't FULLY believe in woo-woo stuff but I feel one can sometimes feel a person's actual presence or ~eNeRgY (not their surface level traits or personality, but their ~eNeRgY~) through the internet. For instance, certain people online (who I have never seen photos of even) will majorly stand out to me a lot and pique my interest (not romantically/sexually or anything necessarily) for reasons I can't figure out-- like, I'll wonder about them and sense a certain intensity about them for no apparent reason, even if I know next to nothing about them.