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Old 11-24-2020, 11:45 PM   #441 (permalink)
jwb
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Best of luck to you. This **** ain't meant to be easy.
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Old 11-25-2020, 02:29 AM   #442 (permalink)
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@Hawk: Sure, if you view it that way. It's not about discussing the PERSON so much as, like, pointing out relationships that contributed to some current neurotic habit/fear or paranoia/whatever you may deal with. (Like for instance I still get SUPER NERVOUS and fearful when a very loud rowdy drunk near me is binge drinking beer or something, because both the smell and the sound of the person crashing around viscerally brings up memories of an alcoholic ex I had who became somewhat physically aggressive when with me in private while drunk. So I've had to explain that before after being asked why I suddenly froze and disassociated when the aforementioned type of person entered a small bar we were in)
It's completely reasonable.
That’s different than doing a full archeological dig looking for patterns.

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Imo it's just more insecurity to be uncomfortable hearing about exes.
Nah. It’s insecure to be all wantin to know. One way or the other everybody is going to leave you. Or you them. If there’s a good story then fine but doing a background check is nowhere. So is turning in your relationship resume.
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Old 11-25-2020, 02:53 AM   #443 (permalink)
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It's a false dichotomy to say that either you're uncomfortable hearing about it or "all wanting to know."
Your discomfort is insecurity based on your possessive conception of your relationship to that person and the inherent threat posed by hearing about the competition. Imo.
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Old 11-25-2020, 03:01 AM   #444 (permalink)
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Suck my ding dong Freud.
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Old 11-25-2020, 04:09 AM   #445 (permalink)
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Now that's what I call a Freudian slip.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

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Old 11-25-2020, 10:08 AM   #446 (permalink)
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I don't know if this is ****ty to say but if a woman says she's had abusive partners...Damaged Goods

very likely if you're kind to them they will not want that anyway

all of love and romance is a sham, but it's convenient to have one steady partner I suppose
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Are beehives and ant colonies unnatural? Cause they cooperate on a level we could hardly dream of.
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Old 11-25-2020, 10:26 AM   #447 (permalink)
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I don't know if this is ****ty to say but if a woman says she's had abusive partners...Damaged Goods

very likely if you're kind to them they will not want that anyway

all of love and romance is a sham, but it's convenient to have one steady partner I suppose
I think that's way too harsh a judgement. I agree that people who have lots of abusive partners are generally damaged, either to begin with (childhood trauma) or because of those relaionships, but that doesn't mean they can't be wonderful people, or make great partners. We're all damaged in some way and have our user manuals, (some more complicated than others) but not necessarily in a harmful way. Some people turn the trauma around too. And they might be in a process of healing and be ready to have kind partners; breaking the cycle of abuse is possible, but not if no one gives you a chance.

@WWWP I do think the 'I'm not ready for a relationship because of my abusive ex' is a red flag, but I can't judge, like Charles said. Just be careful, even if you're not calling it a relationship or if you're comfortable with not being monogamous. Sounds like you're being sensible enough about it though.
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I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.
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Old 11-25-2020, 10:32 AM   #448 (permalink)
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Damaged Goods
you have 13,000 posts on a music forum
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Old 11-25-2020, 10:34 AM   #449 (permalink)
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Oof.mp4
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You sound like Buffy after they dragged her back from Heaven.
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I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.
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Old 11-25-2020, 10:39 AM   #450 (permalink)
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its the Reddest flag that ever Red
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