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Old 03-09-2006, 06:54 PM   #21 (permalink)
you are freakin out, man
 
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you could make it better... but personally i dont think theres any point in trying

even if there is any deeper meaning, you seem more intent on trying to make it look deep than giving it a meaning... stop trying to defend it, and stop trying to make everything into something epic... its a crap song thats it
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Old 03-09-2006, 06:55 PM   #22 (permalink)
Here's lookin at you, kid
 
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Fine.
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Old 03-09-2006, 07:39 PM   #23 (permalink)
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yeah... gonna go with the general consensus and say that the song is awful. One, the myspace line, probably the most awkward sounding line i've ever read. It has no flow whatsoever. Plus just the fact that you've mentioned myspace in a song is pathetic. The entire song has no flow, no rythm, and no cohesive theme. You jump from one metaphor to another to another, so the entire thing is gibbersih. Plus, you talk about buying a chimney sweep, you do realize that a chimney sweep is a PERSON employed to sweep chimney's right? slavery was abolished a very long time ago, so once again, it's another entirely non-sensical line. The you go on to say that the title is now something about north vietnam. where the hell does vietnam come into the song? The whole thing is just a pathetic attempt to sound deep, but you can't decide on once cohesive theme so it's just plain horrible. so yeah, if you want to write about whatever the hell it is you were writing about, go ahead, but just change every single word in the song before you do.
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Old 03-09-2006, 07:40 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Oh the things I could tell you about north vietnam...
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Old 03-09-2006, 07:52 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by some_exotic_booze
Oh the things I could tell you about north vietnam...
and yet another pointless post. Your song sucks, it makes no sense, and instead of trying to explain what you were going for so we can ACTUALLY tell you how better to get your ideas across, you spout out useless posts like these. You want our help? then tell us what you were intending to get across, because NONE of us have any idea, because your song is just a load of random metaphors that dont even flow strung together and labeled as a song.

oh, and get over yourself.
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What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
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Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

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Old 03-09-2006, 07:55 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by some_exotic_booze
------

Some people buy wine glasses just to put them next to greeting cards
To remind ‘em of a memory
That never really was.

Ohh this could get messy
Harsh words exchanged
In perfume’s words, “it isn’t necessary”

I’ve replaced my Scottish friend with my British friend that I don’t know so well in my top 8 at myspace dot com.

Father is crying
Because the barn is on fire
Can you help me buy a new chimney sweep?
I’m too poor to buy one.

Let’s crash in heaven and make the lesbians angry.
Then you can persuade me to go on to Freedom Of Speech.

I’ve replaced my Scottish friend with my British friend that I don’t know so well in my top 8 at myspace dot com. [But it’s not really about that, love, now is it?]

Copy cat!
Copy cat!
Copy cat!

Eff, u, see, kay
YOU!
Ya ****in’ copy cat.

I’ve replaced my Scottish friend with my British friend that I don’t know so well in my top 8 on myspace dot com.

(Then we hear someone whisper) … But it’s not really about that, love, is it?

------------

EDIT: title is now "**** north vietnam"
i like all but the bolded.. and the underlined lines are the ones i really like.. everything else that has nothing done to it.. is just there... haha i don't know how else to put it..

its very different i'll give it that.
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Old 03-09-2006, 09:43 PM   #27 (permalink)
Dinosaurus Rex!!!
 
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Now if ma_cherie says she likes it, it will be the usual circle jerk.
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Old 03-09-2006, 09:44 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by some_exotic_booze
I have a myspace, you retard, did you read the song?
Pfft.

Listen. If you're going to let your personal views of me get in the way of giving advice on the song, don't post in here. Just don't. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to the forum, for spamming purposes.
It's just not arguable to say you don't like me and that this is clouding your judgement.I'm not saying you have to like it, that's fine. just be constructive.
You wanna know what really isnt fair to the forum , the fact that you fill it with your shite songs.

OH! Go PM AITA about how I abused you.
Or, if it will make you feel cooler & respected I'll refer to her as Rozi
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Old 03-09-2006, 09:49 PM   #29 (permalink)
a l'amou fou pou tout
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by some_exotic_booze
Now, this may be QUITE controversial to a certain scottish woman I happen to love very much, but oh well.

father is crying paragraoh credited to LOZ from scotland.
------

Some people buy wine glasses just to put them next to greeting cards
To remind ‘em of a memory
That never really was.

Ohh this could get messy
Harsh words exchanged

In perfume’s words, “it isn’t necessary”

I’ve replaced my Scottish friend with my British friend that I don’t know so well in my top 8 at myspace dot com.

Father is crying
Because the barn is on fire
Can you help me buy a new chimney sweep?
I’m too poor to buy one.

Let’s crash in heaven and make the lesbians angry.
Then you can persuade me to go on to Freedom Of Speech.

I’ve replaced my Scottish friend with my British friend that I don’t know so well in my top 8 at myspace dot com. [But it’s not really about that, love, now is it?]

Copy cat!
Copy cat!
Copy cat!

Eff, u, see, kay
YOU!
Ya ****in’ copy cat.

I’ve replaced my Scottish friend with my British friend that I don’t know so well in my top 8 on myspace dot com.

(Then we hear someone whisper) … But it’s not really about that, love, is it?
------------

EDIT: title is now "**** north vietnam"


The only parts i liked are bolded, the rest has to go cause it aint working.
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Old 03-09-2006, 09:51 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by some_exotic_booze
Now, this may be QUITE controversial to a certain scottish woman I happen to love very much, but oh well.

father is crying paragraoh credited to LOZ from scotland.
------

Some people buy wine glasses just to put them next to greeting cards
To remind ‘em of a memory
That never really was.

Ohh this could get messy
Harsh words exchanged
In perfume’s words, “it isn’t necessary”

I’ve replaced my Scottish friend with my British friend that I don’t know so well in my top 8 at myspace dot com.

Father is crying
Because the barn is on fire
Can you help me buy a new chimney sweep?
I’m too poor to buy one.

Let’s crash in heaven and make the lesbians angry.
Then you can persuade me to go on to Freedom Of Speech.

I’ve replaced my Scottish friend with my British friend that I don’t know so well in my top 8 at myspace dot com. [But it’s not really about that, love, now is it?]

Copy cat!
Copy cat!
Copy cat!

Eff, u, see, kay
YOU!
Ya ****in’ copy cat.

I’ve replaced my Scottish friend with my British friend that I don’t know so well in my top 8 on myspace dot com.

(Then we hear someone whisper) … But it’s not really about that, love, is it?

------------

EDIT: title is now "**** north vietnam"
Alrighty, I just read the song.

The bolded parts, I actually liked

The underlined parts, I really liked

The bolded/underlined parts were actually really good.
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