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Old 01-02-2007, 11:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Exclamation Paper Bottle

Ya'll gotta stop hatin' on the homeless.

Paper Bottle

Walking on a darkened corner,
I had my bottle in a brown paper bag.
Every morning, you kick me off “your” bench.
You won’t even let me keep my blanket. Just last year’s newspaper.
You yell at me to get a job.

Some spare change, is all I ask for.
Surely you’ve got it.
And you say, not so you can get drunk.
But this bottle is all I’ve ever had.
And a few dollars here and there.

I lay on the street,
As wasted as the trash I’m in.
I curl up on the bags, cold on this city summer night.
Thrill-seeking teenagers pick me up, and bring me into an alley.
Beating me to punch-drunk pieces.

The bottle hits me in the face,
A bullet punches through my hollow skin.
And unlike you, I’ve got no memories to think of in my last moments.
So I think of the city sky, it does look so darkly beautiful.
I’ve a warm heart, and a cold body as I die.
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What's with people dying? Shit.
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Old 01-02-2007, 11:13 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Get a job you lazy bitch!
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Ive seen you on muiltipul forums saying Metallica and slayer are the worst **** you kid go suck your **** while you listen to your ****ing emo **** I bet you do listen to emo music
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Old 01-03-2007, 06:20 AM   #3 (permalink)
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YES! Until the end verse where you write...

Quote:
it does look so darkly beautiful.
Ohmy, it's so weak compared to the rest of the song! And, I don't know if you've ever looked up at a city sky... but it is far from beautiful (now, when I think city, I think of where I've lived... Atlanta, St. Louis, Chicago) it is full of light... but that may not always necessarily be the case - but you know how they say you can't see the stars in a city because of the ambient light? Well there ya go. Please, please do something with this line, go in a different direction.
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Old 01-03-2007, 06:24 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I like it, though I don't mind the citysky line. I think it's an only grasp a homeless who has to sleep outside has in dark nights. It might not be beautiful in appearance, but his/her only ''memory'' or comfort.

Though I could be completely wrong.
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Old 01-03-2007, 12:58 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I'll assume that was a joke Crowquill. And Crowe, Alo is right.
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Old 01-03-2007, 02:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
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It was...

/not funny
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Ive seen you on muiltipul forums saying Metallica and slayer are the worst **** you kid go suck your **** while you listen to your ****ing emo **** I bet you do listen to emo music
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Old 01-03-2007, 03:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
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It makes me feel bad for the homeless
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Old 01-03-2007, 03:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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You should feel bad for the homeless they're...homeless. Makes sense, eh? Later. Bass lesson time. Woofunkinghoo!
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What's with people dying? Shit.
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Old 01-04-2007, 03:16 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes View Post
I'll assume that was a joke Crowquill. And Crowe, Alo is right.
Ah, well I am not the resident authority on the homeless here at MB, so I should step down for this one.
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