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Old 10-31-2007, 02:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I Sin, You Sin

(folk-punk song I wrote)

If the afterlife is real
I really hope I end up in Hell
'cause that's where all my friends are gonna be

But if somehow I go to Heaven
I'm gonna throw the biggest tantrum
Jesus Christ himself did ever see

I'm not a bad person
I just do bad things
You're not a good person
You just don't do anything

I could be just like you
I could sit inside and
read the Bible everyday
You could be just like me
You could go outside and see
the world and have some fun

But I'll never be like you
'cause I don't wanna sit inside
and read the ****ing Bible
And you'll never be like me
'cause you're too ****ing scared to see
what's in front of you

I'm not a bad person
I just do bad things (sometimes!)
You're not a good person
You just don't do anything (what a shame!)

(by the way, I can't think of a good title for this; the thread title was just to avoid 'Untitled')
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i will support the evil path of metal
www.myspace.com/arqon
www.myspace.com/xlaststrawx
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Old 10-31-2007, 09:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I think it's terribly immature if you want my honest opinion. The lyrics are no different to what I have heard a thousand times before. Surprising considering you have a fairly decent knowledge of metal and it's numoreous sub-genres.
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Old 11-01-2007, 11:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jackhammer View Post
I think it's terribly immature if you want my honest opinion.


you obviously aren't familiar with folk-punk

but thanks for the feedback
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i will support the evil path of metal
www.myspace.com/arqon
www.myspace.com/xlaststrawx
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Old 11-01-2007, 04:26 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by enemyat_thesix View Post


you obviously aren't familiar with folk-punk

but thanks for the feedback
I think Billy Bragg, New Model Army, Levellers, Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly constitutes a little familiarity on my part. However it was just an opinion.
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Old 11-01-2007, 05:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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It reads like a sentence, not a song.

"If the afterlife is real I really hope I end up in Hell, 'cause that's where all my friends are gonna be."

^Just an example.
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Old 11-01-2007, 09:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jackhammer View Post
I think Billy Bragg, New Model Army, Levellers, Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly constitutes a little familiarity on my part. However it was just an opinion.
none of those are folk-punk.


see Ghost Mice; This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb; Defiance, Ohio; Andrew Jackson Jihad

basically anything off Plan-It-X Records


and Kevorkian, I don't know what kind of music you listen to, but a lot of it is written in sentence style... anyway, it flows perfectly and naturally as a song
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i will support the evil path of metal
www.myspace.com/arqon
www.myspace.com/xlaststrawx
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Old 11-01-2007, 09:20 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I think it is terrible.

It's also pretty bad that you say it "Flows perfectly".
For starters, we can't hear the flow.
Second, there is no perfect in music.
Third, if there was a perfect, you'd be more than a little up yourself for saying that about your own song.

Anyway, better luck next time!
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Old 11-01-2007, 10:52 PM   #8 (permalink)
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lol
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i will support the evil path of metal
www.myspace.com/arqon
www.myspace.com/xlaststrawx
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Old 11-03-2007, 03:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by enemyat_thesix View Post
none of those are folk-punk.


see Ghost Mice; This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb; Defiance, Ohio; Andrew Jackson Jihad

basically anything off Plan-It-X Records


and Kevorkian, I don't know what kind of music you listen to, but a lot of it is written in sentence style... anyway, it flows perfectly and naturally as a song
You fail. Billy Bragg was one the earliest exponents of Folk Punk. The genre is as much about delivery, tone and lyrics than the music.
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Old 11-03-2007, 08:19 PM   #10 (permalink)
not really
 
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"I could be just like you
I could sit inside and
read the Bible everyday
You could be just like me
You could go outside and see
the world and have some fun"

:-/

i didn't find it particularly interesting, far too cliche and boring, not saying i could do any better...
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