I Sin, You Sin (lyrics, metal, punk, genre, title)

enemyat_thesix · 10-31-2007, 01:44 PM

(folk-punk song I wrote)

If the afterlife is real
I really hope I end up in Hell
'cause that's where all my friends are gonna be

But if somehow I go to Heaven
I'm gonna throw the biggest tantrum
Jesus Christ himself did ever see

I'm not a bad person
I just do bad things
You're not a good person
You just don't do anything

I could be just like you
I could sit inside and
read the Bible everyday
You could be just like me
You could go outside and see
the world and have some fun

But I'll never be like you
'cause I don't wanna sit inside
and read the ****ing Bible
And you'll never be like me
'cause you're too ****ing scared to see
what's in front of you

I'm not a bad person
I just do bad things (sometimes!)
You're not a good person
You just don't do anything (what a shame!)

(by the way, I can't think of a good title for this; the thread title was just to avoid 'Untitled')

jackhammer · 10-31-2007, 08:56 PM

I think it's terribly immature if you want my honest opinion. The lyrics are no different to what I have heard a thousand times before. Surprising considering you have a fairly decent knowledge of metal and it's numoreous sub-genres.

enemyat_thesix · 11-01-2007, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackhammer

I think it's terribly immature if you want my honest opinion.

you obviously aren't familiar with folk-punk

but thanks for the feedback

jackhammer · 11-01-2007, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enemyat_thesix

you obviously aren't familiar with folk-punk

but thanks for the feedback

I think Billy Bragg, New Model Army, Levellers, Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly constitutes a little familiarity on my part. However it was just an opinion.

Kevorkian Logic · 11-01-2007, 04:51 PM

It reads like a sentence, not a song.

"If the afterlife is real I really hope I end up in Hell, 'cause that's where all my friends are gonna be."

^Just an example.

enemyat_thesix · 11-01-2007, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackhammer

I think Billy Bragg, New Model Army, Levellers, Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly constitutes a little familiarity on my part. However it was just an opinion.

none of those are folk-punk.

see Ghost Mice; This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb; Defiance, Ohio; Andrew Jackson Jihad

basically anything off Plan-It-X Records

and Kevorkian, I don't know what kind of music you listen to, but a lot of it is written in sentence style... anyway, it flows perfectly and naturally as a song

Frances · 11-01-2007, 08:20 PM

I think it is terrible.

It's also pretty bad that you say it "Flows perfectly".
For starters, we can't hear the flow.
Second, there is no perfect in music.
Third, if there was a perfect, you'd be more than a little up yourself for saying that about your own song.

Anyway, better luck next time!

enemyat_thesix · 11-01-2007, 09:52 PM

lol

jackhammer · 11-03-2007, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enemyat_thesix

none of those are folk-punk.

see Ghost Mice; This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb; Defiance, Ohio; Andrew Jackson Jihad

basically anything off Plan-It-X Records

and Kevorkian, I don't know what kind of music you listen to, but a lot of it is written in sentence style... anyway, it flows perfectly and naturally as a song

You fail. Billy Bragg was one the earliest exponents of Folk Punk. The genre is as much about delivery, tone and lyrics than the music.

Sparky · 11-03-2007, 07:19 PM

"I could be just like you
I could sit inside and
read the Bible everyday
You could be just like me
You could go outside and see
the world and have some fun"

:-/

i didn't find it particularly interesting, far too cliche and boring, not saying i could do any better...

10-31-2007, 08:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
jackhammer Ba and Be. Join Date: May 2007 Location: This Is England Posts: 17,331	I think it's terribly immature if you want my honest opinion. The lyrics are no different to what I have heard a thousand times before. Surprising considering you have a fairly decent knowledge of metal and it's numoreous sub-genres. __________________ It be my music and film collection. “A cynic by experience, a romantic by inclination and now a hero by necessity.”

11-01-2007, 04:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
Kevorkian Logic Imperfectly Perfect Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: North Carolina Posts: 1,290	It reads like a sentence, not a song. "If the afterlife is real I really hope I end up in Hell, 'cause that's where all my friends are gonna be." ^Just an example. __________________ "it is only through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect that a certain type of perfection can be attained"

11-03-2007, 07:19 PM	#10 (permalink)
Sparky not really Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 5,223	"I could be just like you I could sit inside and read the Bible everyday You could be just like me You could go outside and see the world and have some fun" :-/ i didn't find it particularly interesting, far too cliche and boring, not saying i could do any better...