Schizophrenia (also a working title) (Ching)

Eggman · 10-19-2008, 09:14 AM

Again, this is one of the things I've written that I'm actually proud of.
There are a few parts that don't seem right to me, but yet do.
Idk.

We'll sail away across the plain
With not a penny to our name.
The past holds the future's key:
Angst of another day of leave.

Gliding along in a world of clouds,
Watching mighty plants uprooted from the ground.
Crawling, advancing toward my goal
Only to be forgotten on a lonesome stroll.

Trying on shoes of every shape and size,
I'm awaiting the time that we finally realize
We are all pawns in this game of chess,
Anticipating the time that opportunity's best.

The full moon has risen; hope is in sight,
Allowing us to pack up and take flight,
Giving us light and life for the path.
Together we'll travel, future and past.

But yeah. Criticism?

10-19-2008, 09:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
Eggman Groupie Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 44	Schizophrenia (also a working title) Again, this is one of the things I've written that I'm actually proud of. There are a few parts that don't seem right to me, but yet do. Idk. We'll sail away across the plain With not a penny to our name. The past holds the future's key: Angst of another day of leave. Gliding along in a world of clouds, Watching mighty plants uprooted from the ground. Crawling, advancing toward my goal Only to be forgotten on a lonesome stroll. Trying on shoes of every shape and size, I'm awaiting the time that we finally realize We are all pawns in this game of chess, Anticipating the time that opportunity's best. The full moon has risen; hope is in sight, Allowing us to pack up and take flight, Giving us light and life for the path. Together we'll travel, future and past. But yeah. Criticism? __________________ -- Marshall http://last.fm/user/mdeAnr Last edited by Eggman; 10-19-2008 at 09:15 AM. Reason: Punctuation.