Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-19-2009, 10:47 PM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 14
Default City Of The Sea

I know that the "City of the Sea" line is repeated a lot, but it kind of becomes a chant, almost chorus.

City Of The Sea

Judgement will come and wash us clean,
Just like the city of the sea.
Our eyes are lost in deep marine
Just like the city of the sea.

The sun won't shine, and birds won't sing
Just like the city of the sea.
Our words will fade, like sea to steam
Just like the city of the sea

Monuments to be sunken down,
Obscuring both their pride and crown
And soon our place will cease to be
Just like the city of the sea.

Redemption's not found in this scene
Just like the city of the sea.
We'll soon learn what "breathless" means
Just like the city of the sea.

Vicious eyes will start to gleam
Just like the city of the sea.
The waters waves can hear no scream
Just like the city of the sea.

Our hands can't reach the surface now
We've lost the throne and dropped the crown
And soon our place will cease to be
Just like the city of the sea.
__________________
Paper Ghost
Rob-Boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2009, 02:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 14
Default

Anyone?
__________________
Paper Ghost
Rob-Boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2009, 03:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
****ER OF HOLES
 
Terrible Lizard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Butt****, Nebraska
Posts: 1,215
Default

Pretty good. . . Poe was an inspiration I suspect?
__________________
“YOU ARE SCUM SLUT.”
-John Martyn
Terrible Lizard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2009, 03:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 14
Default

I wish it were even that cool. I was watching a bit of stargate atlantis, which kinda made me wonder in the first place what would cause a city to just sink and vanish.
__________________
Paper Ghost
Rob-Boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2009, 03:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Feign's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: California
Posts: 66
Default

I get that it's supposed to be dark, but for some reason I keep seeing bright images in my mind.. I think it's just the words you use to rhyme aren't harsh enough. Of course there are some brightly dark poems, I've written one myself. I like, not love it, but it's definitely showing that you have a great potential. (and I understand it repeats a lot, but it almost seems like too much. But art is a matter of opinion, and something I dislike can be the reason someone loves the poem)

Monuments to be sunken down,
Obscuring both their pride and crown

(Favorite lines n_n )
Feign is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2009, 08:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
Souls of Sound Sailors
 
Schizotypic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mojave
Posts: 755
Default

For sure you have potential. I really like it. I can't wait to see more of your work.
Schizotypic is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads



© 2003-2019 Advameg, Inc.

SEO by vBSEO 3.5.2 ©2010, Crawlability, Inc.