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Old 03-28-2009, 10:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
Escaping His Fate
 
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Default Blessed By A Broken Heart

Intro:
I, can not help myself can, you help complete me.
I, can not complete myself, can you please help me.

I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
Without you.

Verse 1:
Blessed by a broken dream, and thou heart shall desire.
Loneliness is killing me, trapped in like barbed-wire.

I don’t think I can live like this, oh can you take me now?
Without you I can not exist, my heart will not allow.

Bridge:
Oh how I wish, that I could live, just one more day with you.
You can’t begin, to comprehend, just how much I love you. (No)

Oh how I wished, I could have spent, just one more day with you.
You can’t begin, to comprehend, just how much I loved you.

Chorus:
I, can not help myself can, you help complete me.
I, can not complete myself, can you please help me.

I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
Without you.

Verse 2:

Shattered dreams will end my life,
This is where I stand tonight.

Above a broken, bloody, sword.
My soul, departs, to the Lord.

Shattered dreams will end my life,
This is where I stand tonight.

Above a broken, bloody, sword.
My soul, departs, to the Lord.

Bridge:
Oh how I wish, that I could live, just one more day with you.
You can’t begin, to comprehend, just how much I love you. (No)

Oh how I wished, I could have spent, just one more day with you.
You can’t begin, to comprehend, just how much I loved you.

Chorus:
I, can not help myself can, you help complete me.
I, can not complete myself, can you please help me.

Breakdown:
You drove me here, as I had feared, your cold hands made me disappear.
How long, could I, have lived like this, my heart trapped in, black abyss.

But now I have, transgressed beyond, your piercing eyes, a bloody pond.
But now I have, transgressed beyond, your piercing eyes, your piercing eyes.

Outro:
YOU
DID
THIS
TO ME

YOU
DID
THIS
TO ME

YOU
DID
THIS
TO ME

My heart lies in...

A BLOODY POND.
__________________________________________________ ______________


So it's a song about someone in a relationship leaving the other person, and him committing suicide because of her.

Honestly this doesn't relate to me at all lol, but ya know, I just had the idea so decided to go all out...harsh as it is!


----------------
Now playing: Escape The Fate - Draggin Dead Bodies In Blue Bags Up Really Long Hills
via FoxyTunes
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Old 03-28-2009, 11:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
Souls of Sound Sailors
 
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Are you a scene kid?
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Old 03-29-2009, 12:37 AM   #3 (permalink)
Escaping His Fate
 
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Not really.

Once again, I don't feel this way whatsoever lol.

I haven't loved anyone aside from family yet, and nobody has ever left me or made me want to kill myself.

I just find it interesting and powerful to write stuff like this.
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Old 03-29-2009, 11:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Just so cliche, no offense or anything. Like I agree it's a powerful teenage concept, but really it's sort of shallow. The only reason a guy would kill himself for a girl who left him is because he's really sensitive and was already suicidal or if he was obsessed, not in love. If "powerful" is what your looking for, maybe you should write things from a different angle. For example Nick Cave's song "From Her To Eternity" is about some sick puppy being obsessed with some girl above his apartment, now that song is powerful.
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Old 03-31-2009, 07:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
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It's great imagery, and it'll carry really well if the melody is right.

Tis' a bit cliche, but hey, whatever comes out, comes out, right?
Excellent job with sectioning the lyrics by the way, they flow nicely.
If you ever get a melody to it, I'd love to hear it.
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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everything about this is cliché
and not only is using "thou" out of place you did not use it correctly
flat-out terrible
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