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Old 10-03-2010, 11:26 PM   #231 (permalink)
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Default "Pyre" lyrics

Quote:
Originally Posted by AwwSugar View Post
I feel like this is so straightfoward.
But I feel like I say that a lot.
I do like the idea of the lyrics, though.
Thanks for reading, Amandria. Yes, I agree, those lyrics for "Plea" are very straightforward. The only non-straightforward part of that song is the irony that the song itself, in which a person claims not to plead, is actually a plea. And so everything said in the song is false! Does that make it more interesting?

* * *

In my previous post I said that my next one would include lyrics that give a vegan's indignant perspective on book-burning vs. animal-killing, which includes human-killing, by the way. So here they are.

This song, "Pyre," was partly inspired by MusicBanter because I was surprised how many people in the Quran-burning thread felt the minister was "abusing his rights" (to freedom of expression) by burning a "holy" book. A book! A book for which people will kill. All the ironies surrounding the whole business of book-burning were just too great for me to ignore.

**************************************

"Pyre" by Erica

Some people say don’t burn a book,
though they barbecue flesh on the grill.
They give you a dirty look while they stoke the fire,
unperturbed by the fact they kill

a thousand hearts, two thousand eyes.
They value paper more than lives.
Where is their godly mercy?
Only in books they think are holy.

Some people say to show respect
don’t tread on anyone’s belief.
Regardless of the sect
don’t criticize or cause believers grief,

but a million hearts, two million eyes,
a million minds, a million lives,
they’ll end with cruelty.
I guess only peace on paper is holy.

Rip the cover off, shred the pages,
throw a book on the flames and it won’t mind,
but slash or kill or cook a sentient being,
now that’s unkind!

Yet believers cry,
“These written words are the words of God.
Dishonor them and face the rod.
Cut throats and babies with a blade
so holy covenants are made.
And if you don’t believe that is God’s will
and this our Promised Land,
then He will smite you down
and we’ll be His right hand.”

Some people say you must revere
religious writings that inspire,
so don’t destroy what some hold dear.
Yet look whom they throw on the pyre!

A billion hearts, two billion eyes,
a billion minds, a billion lives.
Why isn’t killing blasphemy?
I guess only paper mercy is holy.
I guess only peace on paper is holy.
I guess only paper love
is holy.

**************************************
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"

Last edited by VEGANGELICA; 10-04-2010 at 01:29 AM. Reason: I forgot to capitalize "His." Sacrilege!
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Old 10-25-2010, 07:00 PM   #232 (permalink)
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Default Anti-circumcision song lyrics

Hello MBers,

Since my last song condemned opponents of book burning who don't flinch at all over killing and roasting animals, I decided to post the lyrics for another condemnation song about a favorite topic of mine: circumcision.

This song, "Shock," criticizes genital cutting (circumcision) for being what it is: sexual abuse of children.

*******************************

"Shock" by Erica

You think you know your son,
believing you’ve done right by him,
and yet you had him cut.
You made your child your victim.
His wound is now a scar.
You think his pain has gone away.
Well, think again, because
here’s what your little boy may say:

You say you love me
but my body tells me otherwise.
You had them hurt me in my childhood,
ignoring my cries.
You let them strap me down
and cut me though there was no need.
You should have known it’s wrong
to make a child’s genitals bleed.

You were my parents
and you should have been protecting me.
Instead you had them slice
and violate my body.
You shouldn’t torture
little children’s sexuality.
You had no right to harm
the most private part of me.

Shock, shock, shock to my system.
You should have never cut me, making me your victim.
Shock, shock, shock to your system.
You were my parents, so where was your wisdom?!

You never bothered learning
what this part of me was for:
protection, delicate sensation,
and so much more.
I’ll never know now how I
was supposed to be,
because you mutilated
what belonged to me.

You treated me as if I
were your possession.
You damaged me
due to sexual obsession.
Your doctor and your holy men
were your accomplices.
You all are perpetrators
of cruel injustices.

Mutilating genitals of little girls
is wrong, you cry,
but when it is a little boy,
you turn your blind eye.
You had no right to make
your violent incision.
What happens to my body
should be my decision!

Shock, shock, shock to my system.
You should have never cut me, making me your victim.
Shock, shock, shock to your system.
You were my parents, so where was your wisdom?!

(INTERLUDE)

You are the emperor who thinks he’s wise
but wears no clothes.
I am the little child
who sees you standing naked and knows.
I see right through you and your flimsy excuses.
You are abusers, defending your abuses.

You pinned a little child down.
You cut his penis by force.
Yet you acknowledge no wrongdoing.
You feel no remorse.
You violated his genital integrity.
You had no right to harm a helpless baby.

Fondle little children
and you’ll spend your life in jail.
Why can you cut their foreskin off
if they are male?!
There is no rationale, no justification.
You perpetrated genital mutilation.

You think his pain has gone away.
Well, think again, because
that’s what your little boy may say!

*******************************
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:51 PM   #233 (permalink)
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I can't believe it's been over a day and no one's commented on "Shock".
A song about circumcision can so easily turn from serious to ridiculous and you did a fantastic job of preventing that from happening. As with many topics you cover in your writing, I'm mostly in agreement with you on this one. I say mostly because it is wrong on many levels and violates the rights of the children, but you seem to think that the parents and doctors do it for sexual pleasure. It's usually for fear of sinning against their god, not to get themselves off! You probably don't think that, but that's what it seems like.
Anyway, great job.
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:32 AM   #234 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Sljslj View Post
I can't believe it's been over a day and no one's commented on "Shock".
A song about circumcision can so easily turn from serious to ridiculous and you did a fantastic job of preventing that from happening. As with many topics you cover in your writing, I'm mostly in agreement with you on this one. I say mostly because it is wrong on many levels and violates the rights of the children, but you seem to think that the parents and doctors do it for sexual pleasure. It's usually for fear of sinning against their god, not to get themselves off! You probably don't think that, but that's what it seems like.
Anyway, great job.
Thanks, Sljslj, for your feedback. I didn't really expect any because we usually don't get too much here...but hearing feedback is very helpful. And yours is always direct and honest, which I appreciate.

I actually didn't mean to say that people circumicize their children to achieve direct sexual satisfaction from the handling, crushing, and cutting of helpless individuals' genitals. The practice, when religious, symbolizes more of a religious sexual obsession with constraining human sexuality and using violence as a way to create group cohesion.

However, it IS true that one reason women in the U.S. say they want to have their baby boys circumcized is that the mothers feel a circumcised penis is sexier (since that's what THEY are used to), and so there IS a sexual component to having your son circumcised. People are treating infants like someone else's sex toys.

I'm really very pleased you felt I did a good job with this one, because the song these lyrics are for is one of my favorites, probably because in it I let out quite a flare of my anger. It's nice to hear I'm not completely out of tune with what at least one other person thinks makes lyrics "good."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
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Old 10-29-2010, 12:38 AM   #235 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
However, it IS true that one reason women in the U.S. say they want to have their baby boys circumcized is that the mothers feel a circumcised penis is sexier (since that's what THEY are used to), and so there IS a sexual component to having your son circumcised. People are treating infants like someone else's sex toys.
That makes alot of sense. Thanks for clearing that up. As I said, I knew you didn't think they did directly and specifically for sexual plessure, but wasn't exactly sure just what you thought, and now... I do, thanks for that.

Quote:
I'm really very pleased you felt I did a good job with this one, because the song these lyrics are for is one of my favorites, probably because in it I let out quite a flare of my anger. It's nice to hear I'm not completely out of tune with what at least one other person thinks makes lyrics "good."
It seems you're not afraid to offend people and you say exactly what feels right to you, this is what makes your lyrics great and also you as a lyricist. Even when I don't agree with you on something, I can tell your passionate about whatever it is you're saying, and I've got alot of respect for you for that reason.

Would you mind reading my new lyrics? I'd like it if you left a comment, but you certianly shouldn't feel obligated to.

Keep writing, Erica.
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Old 10-30-2010, 07:29 PM   #236 (permalink)
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^ Thank you, Sljslj, for noticing and appreciating that I say exactly what feels right to me, even if it may not be an opinion with which many people agree.

I'd be very happy to read your new lyrics. Thanks for asking. No worries about me feeling obligated to comment, either, because MB time is my free time and I don't do anything here out of a feeling of obligation but because I want to. And I especially like reading and thinking about other people's creative writing!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
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Old 11-01-2010, 12:27 PM   #237 (permalink)
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I always enjoy your lyrics, Vegangelica (even if I don't always comment on them), but I felt Shock was very preachy and not very tactful when it came to making your point. I understand forcefulness and putting power behind something, but with a subject as offbeat as circumcision, I felt more like I was being yelled at and told I'm wrong. I've never enjoyed lyrics like that, I can't even listen to Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" for the lines

"Elvis was a hero to most / But he never meant **** to me / Straight-up racist that sucker was / Simple and plain."

Because it assumes complete authority over the subject and shuts out any room for retaliation. It's like trying to have a discussion with someone who after making a point says "I'm right. And that's the end of it." Which I find very frustrating. I'd like the lyrics to more or less "state their case" and leave it at that, or if it is a powerful condemnation song then at least layer themselves in wit or satire.

As always I enjoyed the mechanics and the writing itself, you're probably the most competent songwriter on the forum.

Last edited by someonecompletelyrandom; 11-01-2010 at 12:32 PM.
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Old 11-02-2010, 03:49 PM   #238 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Conan View Post
I always enjoy your lyrics, Vegangelica (even if I don't always comment on them), but I felt Shock was very preachy and not very tactful when it came to making your point. I understand forcefulness and putting power behind something, but with a subject as offbeat as circumcision, I felt more like I was being yelled at and told I'm wrong.
That's because you *were* being yelled at and told that you are wrong, Conan!

I actually do shout some of the lyrics (at the very end)...so your feeling that the song is shouting at you is exactly what I was going after.

Quote:
I've never enjoyed lyrics like that, I can't even listen to Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" for the lines

"Elvis was a hero to most / But he never meant **** to me / Straight-up racist that sucker was / Simple and plain."

Because it assumes complete authority over the subject and shuts out any room for retaliation.
I understand why lyrics like that wouldn't appeal to you. The "Shock" song actually isn't meant to be an argument. I didn't design it to convince people, through careful analysis of pros and cons, not to circumcise their baby. I meant the song to feel more like a slap in the face.

Quote:
It's like trying to have a discussion with someone who after making a point says "I'm right. And that's the end of it." Which I find very frustrating. I'd like the lyrics to more or less "state their case" and leave it at that, or if it is a powerful condemnation song then at least layer themselves in wit or satire.
I agree with you completely about how frustrating it is in an argument when a person essentially dismisses all your arguments as meaningless, and won't even acknowledge that some of your points are valid.

I'm glad you mentioned your concerns about the "Shock" lyrics, because I am actually at the start of another song about circumcision that provides counter-arguments to specific medical and cultural reasons some people give in support of circumcision, and I've been unsure of what angle to take with the song. I wanted this second circumcision song to be less confrontational...and your mention of using satire and wit makes me think of a possible angle that might work for the song. So, thank you.

Quote:
As always I enjoyed the mechanics and the writing itself, you're probably the most competent songwriter on the forum.
Thank you for saying so, Conan. I'm glad that even if you don't like the judgemental stance of the "Shock" lyrics you still feel they are well written.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"

Last edited by VEGANGELICA; 11-02-2010 at 03:59 PM.
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Old 11-03-2010, 11:17 PM   #239 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
Your vacation sounds lovely, Schmidti, and I'm glad you passed all your exams, though I'm not at all surprised. My main memory of Paris from when I was 5 was of a huge rat bumping into a wall as it walked along some alley. That was very memorable. The Eiffel tower is nice, too, of course...but it pales in comparison to a gigantic, bumbling rat!

****

And now, for today's song lyrics:

After talking with Crash and Freebase in the shout box about what it is like to be in the military, I decided to write an anti-war song in honor of Sept. 11th based partly on their descriptions. I imagined what I thought would happen if I were to enlist in the military. The song pretty much describes the outcome. Erica + Military probably wouldn't be a love match, shall we say.

As for the song structure, I decided to try following a post-rock blogger's suggestion for post-rock lyrics because it amused me. He said he'd like to hear a song that goes like this: "Intro - verse - prechorus - chorus - bridge - preverse - verse2 - breakdown - drive bus into pit, back bus out of pit - slow part - fast part - chorus."

I'm not sure what "drive bus into pit, back bus out of pit" means, but hopefully I'll figure that out when I put these lyrics to music!

*********************************************
ďFailure to Adapt,Ē by Erica

See the soldiers fighting for religion, wealth, and domination
led by leaders seeking peace through violence and intimidation...

I donít like their rules Iím told to follow.
I donít like the games they want me to play.
Defeating a foe is a victory hollow.
I just want to get away, get away.

Their rationale lacks any rhyme or reason.
Iím tired of being here, feeling trapped.
Iím not going to stay while they shout in my face.
I already know Iím a clear case of a...

failure to adapt to their tyranny,
failure to adapt to their heavy hands,
failure to adapt to decisions
that fail to adapt to what my conscience demands.

I donít need counseling!
I donít need correction!
I donít need the consequences
they claim are for my protection

because Iím a failure,
because Iím a failure,
because

Iím not going to help create a hierarchy.
Iím not going to be crushed to the ground.
Iím not going to learn to embrace immaturity.
Hatred will never hold me down.

Iím not going to be broken, submissive.
Iím not going to crouch here, feeling trapped.
Iím standing up now and Iím leaving this place
since I already know Iím a clear case of a

failure to adapt, failure to adapt

to living the lie leaders want me to live,
programmed to fight an offensive offensive,
armed like a limb of a mindless machine,
following orders, unsure what they mean.

The walls will not sweat with my perspiration
preparing for war when no war can be won.
Iím exercising my right and my will
not to storm into countries to maim and to kill.

Let them say Iím off base and a shameful disgrace.
I already know Iím a clear case of a

failure to adapt to their tyranny,
failure to adapt to their heavy hands,
failure to adapt to decisions
that fail to adapt to what my conscience demands.

*********************************************
I REALLY like this song. Not because it's anti-war, but because it's written in a really poetic way. When you repeat "I don't like" and other parts like that, it really makes your point and it's also what I do when I write!
I like when you say you don't like the rules because I know a lot of people who have been in the military and who have hated some of the rules they were forced to follow. It pertains to a lot of situations, also, because there are always going to be rules that we don't like.

I'm not sure I really like the parts that use words like "tyranny" and "hierarchy." I feel like that's not really what people who hate war and are fighting it are thinking. I feel like they're thinking about the simple aspects of it, what is it really doing to me? Who are the people I'm hurting right now? Is this really going to solve anything?

When you introduced the song as anti-war, I was really skeptical. I feel like that's such a strong opinion and I feel like the song could have been a lot different if I didn't have that "I hate war" feeling from reading your introduction.
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Old 11-10-2010, 09:49 AM   #240 (permalink)
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I REALLY like this song. Not because it's anti-war, but because it's written in a really poetic way. When you repeat "I don't like" and other parts like that, it really makes your point and it's also what I do when I write!

I like when you say you don't like the rules because I know a lot of people who have been in the military and who have hated some of the rules they were forced to follow. It pertains to a lot of situations, also, because there are always going to be rules that we don't like.

I'm not sure I really like the parts that use words like "tyranny" and "hierarchy." I feel like that's not really what people who hate war and are fighting it are thinking. I feel like they're thinking about the simple aspects of it, what is it really doing to me? Who are the people I'm hurting right now? Is this really going to solve anything?

When you introduced the song as anti-war, I was really skeptical. I feel like that's such a strong opinion and I feel like the song could have been a lot different if I didn't have that "I hate war" feeling from reading your introduction.
November 10, 2010

Ms. Amandria AwwSugar
4U MusicBanter Lane
Artists Corner, MB 12345

Dear Ms. Sugar:

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my soldier song and give me useful feedback!

I apologize that I have taken so long to reply. The tardiness of my reply in no way reflects the value I place upon your post. Unfortunately, I have been awaiting the arrival of a new modem after my previous model died a sad and sudden death on Thursday last. Had this misfortune not befallen my elderly modem then I would have replied promptly, as I always appreciate when you take time from rugby and other activities to comment on my lyrics.

Most of the lyrics were taken directly from Crash Override's and Freebase's descriptions of military life, so I hope at least the parts that don't talk about tyranny ring true. I'd be curious what someone who is actually in the military would think of the lyrics.

You make the good point that my song may not accurately reflect how real soldiers think. Perhaps they don't think of the military as being an example of hierarchy in which leaders unwisely wielding power expect the soldiers to do their bidding without questioning, whether it is to attack the Twin Towers with airplanes, killing several thousand people, or attack a whole nation, Iraq, in an unprovoked assault leading to approximately 1 million refugees and the deaths of 100,000 people currently (Iraq Body Count).

I am surprised that you don't like anti-war songs, Amandria. I don't hear enough songs faulting the U.S. for its attack on Iraq. I feel as if the U.S. has gotten away with murder, literally. I feel the U.S. and in particular its former leader, Bush, are guilty of an indefensible and unforgiveable assault on humanity.

Also, if the U.S. public hadn't been so gullible and patriotic, then soldiers wouldn't have followed the request of the leaders to attack Iraq based on the incorrect belief that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. If the U.S. were not a war-mongering country, then the majority of people would have felt it was unethical to attack another country even if that country *had* possessed weapons of mass destruction.

The U.S. is happy to assault others and rationalize away the actions and the mistakes as somehow good. I suspect that if the public were polled today, most would *still* say that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction:

Quote:
Percentage of Americans Believing Iraq had WMD Rises

August 9, 2006 Growing numbers of Americans think that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction when the United States launched its 2003 invasion.

The Harris Interactive Poll, taken July 5-11, shows that half of Americans (50 percent) believe that “Iraq had weapons of mass destruction when the U.S. invaded.” That represents a rise of 14 points from February 2005 when only 36 percent thought Iraq had WMD.

The existence of WMD in Iraq, which Saddam Hussein was supposed to destroy after losing the first Gulf War in 1991, was the major justification for the United States’ March 2003 invasion. However, an investigation by the Iraq Survey Group completed in 2004 concluded that Iraq had dismantled its chemical, biological and nuclear arms programs in 1991 under U.N. oversight.
So, it is hard for me not to think of the U.S. military as representing tyranny. Tyranny of brutish violence over reasoned peace. Tyranny of blind patriotism over world citizenship. Tyranny of stupidity and knee-jerk reactions over careful understanding of reality. Tyranny of captors over captives given neither fair trials nor humane treatment in prison.

If anything, I feel my song wasn't a strong enough condemnation of the U.S.

Thank you again for your feedback, Amandria. Based on your feedback, I made a few changes in the lyrics to try to emphasize that I am one of the soldiers and am complaining about the military leadership, although I don't want to take away from soldiers their responsibility for their own actions. I do feel that a military can do great good...when it isn't actually engaged in war!

Sincerely,

Erica V.

ev
Enclosures (3)
1 - Love
2 - Hugs
3 - A kiss on the nose!

cc MusicBanter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"

Last edited by VEGANGELICA; 11-10-2010 at 09:55 AM.
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