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Old 06-06-2009, 10:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lightStevOo View Post
????
wats the point of this???
yeah I didnt mean for all my songs to go like this.
I made them all seperated and then they all merged to one...
im as confused as you are!
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Old 06-06-2009, 10:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FooFighting View Post
yeah I didnt mean for all my songs to go like this.
I made them all seperated and then they all merged to one...
im as confused as you are!
Because that's how things are posted in this forum.

There's a thread at the top of the page saying ' READ THIS THREAD BEFORE YOU POST ANYTHING HERE'

I also gave you the link to it earlier in this thread if you are in any doubt.
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Old 09-23-2009, 09:05 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Riverbank



Sitting on the riverbank
Watching the sun
Only just a year ago
I found the one

The hot summer of last year
My feet in the sand
Frying in the burning light
You gave me your hand

We moved under the big tree
And into the shade
Talking, laughing, then I asked
To tell me your name

You hesitated shortly
Then opened your mouth
It moved like it was talking
But there was no sound

"Why so mysterious"
I asked quizzically
But you'd already run off
Away from me

A lonely month followed
I was so bored
But when Autumn came
To the riverside I returned

That day I found you under
The big shady tree
That a month ago had kept the
Sun away from me

You seemed different
Quiet, sad, and scared
When you sat down with me
You stopped acting so weird

We talked, laughed, and then I said
"I still don't know your name"
You didn't answer no
But you did something great

Leaning over on the leaves
You stared in to my eyes
A smile spread across your face
I forgot all your lies

You lips brushed mine, tenderly, lovingly
My eyes closed in delight
I'd never ever felt so good
I'd never felt so bright

We sat under the big old tree
Until the sun set
A cloud rolled over the sky above
And suddenly we were wet

We ran home as fast as we could
I welcomed him through the door
But he refused suddenly
And ran home with no more

Until that day a year ago
I've not seen you once
We only met each other twice
But it felt like months and months

So now I sit at the riverbank
The blaring sun up high
I think of the unnamed man
And heave a great big sigh

One more time I'd like to see
The one perfect man
But the riverbank lay lone and bare
Except for the land

I sit there with my memories
I wish you were there
A sound crackles in my ear
I turn around in fear

A figure rises through the trees
A brilliant thought takes over me
I shift happily in the sand
As you hold out your hand

You take me to the shady tree
You put your arms around me
Your tender lips brush mine
I feel so damn fine

A smile grows upon your face
Your mouth opens to say
"My name is still unkown to you
It will still be a mystery too"

"So what about a nickname?
You can pick it- it's a game"
I think a sec and then I whisper
"Hi, my best friend ever, River!"


- I wrote the first 3 or 4 lines on a piece of paper, but the rest was written while on Banter- so it gets a bit crap and corny, including the last line. Sorry-

Last edited by FooFighting; 09-27-2009 at 11:59 PM.
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Old 09-23-2009, 09:12 AM   #14 (permalink)
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You shouldn't have posted it twice, I didn't realize you had a collection already.
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Old 09-25-2009, 05:21 AM   #15 (permalink)
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One Last Glance

It's been one thousand years
Since I last saw your face.
I've shed one thousand tears
And I've shed my grace.

Five hundred years more
I would stand.
If it could mean
Just one more glance.
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Old 09-26-2009, 09:48 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
I've shed one thousand tears
And I've shed my grace.

Five hundred years more
I would stand.
The lines that I didn't quote sound too clichè for me to really be affected by it.

I like those four lines I quoted, though.
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Old 09-27-2009, 10:41 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Thanks for the feedback AwwSugar- keep it up.
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Old 09-27-2009, 10:49 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Keep up the feedback? xD
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Old 09-27-2009, 11:25 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Yep - I see you're commenting on a lot of peoples songs. Youre doing a good job
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Old 09-28-2009, 12:18 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Rhyme

Red sails in the sunrise
And everybody opens up their eyes.


-Don't even bother with this rhyme. I got it from a news headline about the mist that covered Sydney Harbour in Australia last week. It's just here for the sake of it-
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