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Old 10-31-2009, 09:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
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These are songs that I have written the lyrics to so far for my thrash speed metal band I sing/play bass in (currently without a name). Although we have written the music to around about 10 odd songs we have only written the lyrics to one (LOL).
It's called 'Unrequited(?) Hate'. It's about wanting to kill someone close to you because they treat you like ****. But you would feel guilty about killing them because they harbor no ill feelings against you. But since they treat you like **** you're not sure if they really do like you. Sorta inspired by a real life situation I guess. It's not meant to be deep and meaningful, mainly just brutal yadiggle so don't think I'm trying to win an Igor Novello wit this.
Also with this first song, it may not seem like it rhymes, but the way the music is written it all fits into place nicely

Quote:
Verse 1:
Do - you - wanna - die?
Be - cause the way your acting,
makes - me think-you might.

[small instrumental break]

Verse 2:
But - if it's it's-not-true,
then - I won't-have-to,
grab a knife and take the plunge,
HANDLE DEEP INTO YOUR LUNGS!

Chorus:
Unrequited hate!
It's attracting me straight,
to your untimely demise,
IT'S LIKE LIGHT TO THE FLIES!

Verse 3:
Shut - your, f*ck-ing-mouth I swear,
cos-if-ya-live-boy-I-dun-f*ckin - care!

[small instrumental break]

Verse 4:
But - it's sor-ta-weird,
that - you won't-live-in-fear.
That - is my-mis-take,
BUT I WANT YOU TO DIE FOR HEAVEN'S - SAKE!

Chorus

Guitar Solo #1

Bridge:
I hate you, do you hate me?
With that said, don't tell me. (x3)

Chorus

Outro guitar solo
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Old 11-01-2009, 02:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Your lyrics are basic. They're good enough to give someone to sing without being laughable (in the situation given). There's nothing I would really change.

But, all you metal heads seem to like giving us notes on 'instrumental breaks' and 'guitar solos' and 'breakdowns' and whatnot. You don't need to do that... Please don't do that. If you wish for us to read it, give it to us like a poem. If you want us to hear it, than give us a recording. Don't stradle the fence.

peace,
-nick
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Old 11-01-2009, 07:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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sank I'll stop with the instrumental break parts I just thought it might help ya read it.
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Old 11-02-2009, 06:35 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
sank I'll stop with the instrumental break parts I just thought it might help ya read it.
I'm not trying to be rude, It becomes frustrating to read when you add those notes in.

peace,
-nick
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It only takes one jerk to prove any hypothesis absolutely false. Like, have you ever heard the rumor that you can drop cash on the street in Tokyo and the people are so honest that someone will find it, pick it up, and take it to the cops? Well, that's absolutely 100% not true, because I once found a plain envelope on the ground with "6,000 yen" written on it. Inside was 6,000 yen. I put it in my pocket and kept walking.
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