Iron's writing corner

iron9567 · 11-27-2009, 08:20 PM

Hello I figured it was time for me to start posting some of my lyrics. As far as what I'm wanting as far as responses to anything i post in this thread. Well what ever you feel like replying with is cool.
Thanks
the iron man

iron9567 · 11-27-2009, 08:21 PM

This is a colaboration between members: Kristen watlington and myself. I gave the honor of naming the song to KW.
Thanks
the iron man

Writers:
the iron man
kristen watlington
Genre: I would have say it's a rock song where its sung medium octave and medium tempo. LOl if any of that makes sense.

Titled: I've had enough

You come to me with another tear
hanging on your cheek
trying out the newest...lie
like a fool you try to pull me in
It's from the slam of the door
you hear the anger in my silence

So many things I wanna scream
but this silence has gotten the best of me
I cant find the words to tell you
this time your games won't work
you can't pull me in

It's time I tell you...I've had enough
Standing on behind my door
walking down the hall
scream all you want
Soon I won't hear the screams from outside
I won't be here to see what you got to say

how can I show you
Your worst then drugs
made me feel like a sinking ship
relationship bound for disaster
it took me getting lost in the dark
for me to see see the light

It's time I tell you...I've had enough
Standing on behind my door
walking down the hall
scream all you want
Soon I won't hear the screams from outside
I won't be here to see what you got to say

Why do you always want to waste our time
with something that never felt real
but time after time there you are
ready for me to get fooled again
dont even try and waste my time
I'm through with all the games

The more I push you away
you see me living your dream
Every time you turn around
it's funny how the bottom feels
when it chews you up and spits you out
you start to see how
I was always there to take you back

It's time I tell you...I've had enough
Standing on behind my door
walking down the hall
scream all you want
Soon I won't hear the screams from outside
I won't be here to see what you got to say

the baggage always seems heavier
when you have to carry it on your own
it's when you stop to sleep
you'll see all the pain you've caused
only when the door slams
is where you'll hear me talking back

cause It's time you see...I've had enough
Standing on behind my door
hearing my footsteps walking down the hall
leaving you to scream all you want
out of site to show I can still hear
I won't be here to see what you got to say

iron9567 · 11-27-2009, 08:25 PM

title: Picking up the pieces

Your games/
They pushed me to far away/
I can no longer see me loving you/
And all the wants that you lied about/
And all the needs you demanded from me/
you never cared about me a single second/

tonight im going to start breathing on my own/
im trying to unweave the damage that you've done/
maybe it was best that we never this to work/
all the weight is lifted and i can see the light/
On this afternoon i spent waiting around on you/
I gave the final wasted day by the grip of your hands/

When the heart slowly breaks and falls on the floor,/
i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/
i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/

a shooting star later that night gave me some hope/
i knew i wasnt going to be alone for long/
I can’t explain the feeling that swept over me./
youre finding out things arent like you thought they were/
im wanting to tell you how things always come back around/

tonight im going to start breathing on my own/
im trying to unweave the damage that you've done/
maybe it was best that we never this to work/
all the weight is lifted and i can see the light/
On this afternoon i spent waiting around on you/
I gave the final wasted day by the grip of your hands/

[Chorus]
When the heart slowly breaks and falls on the floor,/
i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/
i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/.
you want to show me the reasons behind your actions/
It’s too late to try an tell me youre sorry for what youve done/
my heart has moved on for the finall time tonight/,
my heart has moved on for the finall time tonight/,

Now I’m with someone else that makes me happy/
my life has been so much better since i fell in love/
its my fault that i never seen what was in front of me all along/
It’s better than what you tried to show me through your eyes/

All the times i tried to prove the feelings i had for you/
Now im showing the feelings as i pass you on by/

[Chorus x2]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your games/
They pushed me to far away/
I can no longer see me loving you/
And all the wants that you lied about/
And all the needs you demanded from me/
you never cared about me a single second/

tonight im going to start breathing on my own/
im trying to unweave the damage that you've done/
maybe it was best that we never this to work/
all the weight is lifted and i can see the light/
On this afternoon i spent waiting around on you/
I gave the final wasted day by the grip of your hands/

When the heart slowly breaks and falls on the floor,/
i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/
i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/

a shooting star later that night gave me some hope/
i knew i wasnt going to be alone for long/
I can’t explain the feeling that swept over me./
youre finding out things arent like you thought they were/
im wanting to tell you how things always come back around/

tonight im going to start breathing on my own/
im trying to unweave the damage that you've done/
maybe it was best that we never this to work/
all the weight is lifted and i can see the light/
On this afternoon i spent waiting around on you/
I gave the final wasted day by the grip of your hands/

[Chorus]
When the heart slowly breaks and falls on the floor,/
i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/
i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/.
you want to show me the reasons behind your actions/
It’s too late to try an tell me youre sorry for what youve done/
my heart has moved on for the finall time tonight/,
my heart has moved on for the finall time tonight/,

Now I’m with someone else that makes me happy/
my life has been so much better since i fell in love/
its my fault that i never seen what was in front of me all along/
It’s better than what you tried to show me through your eyes/

All the times i tried to prove the feelings i had for you/
Now im showing the feelings as i pass you on by/

[Chorus x2]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ok i got this song come to me earlier. I have no idea why it did, So i tried to make it as different as i could. This is an acoustic genre style song. Comment on it if you like to. It'll be interesting to see what people think when they read it.lol
thanks
the iron man

Title: Smeared lipstick
Heeey heeeey heeeeey

Your lipstick stains on my **** are blowing my mind
I knew it would feel good,
but didn't know it be such a mess
now my boxers look like I pissed on a rainbow
You need to use you mouth and clean it all up/
The smell of you on my balls are getting me sick/
I knew when we **** it'd be an interesting night/
now you're a *** stain away from being a regret/

Hey cheap street lady, how long is all this going to take
The way your moving it feels like it wont take much longer
Hey cheap street lady, you need to swallow just a little bit more

Heeey heeeey heeeey

Just a little bit of time, this is all I have to give tonight
youre working my **** tonight
this aint no love connection, but youre blowing my mind
makin me over look the smell to finish this nutt
any minute im going to unload this hose
In a back alley while the world passes by I could care less
for five bucks this is the best head i've ever gotten

Hey cheap street lady, how long is all this going to take
The way your moving it feels like it wont take much longer
Hey cheap street lady, you need to swallow just a little bit more

well can you clean the smeared lipstick
remove all signs from where you've been
I still got a home to go to
You're going to be a distant *** stain I wont forget
ill see you in every rainbow I see in the sky
the memory of your smeared lipstick on my ****
brings back more then just the smell of your breath

Hey cheap street lady, how long is all this going to take
The way your moving it feels like it wont take much longer
Hey cheap street lady, you need to swallow just a little bit more
Heeey heeeey heeeeey
Heeey heeeey heeeeey

Arya Stark · 12-04-2009, 12:50 AM

I really feel like this could have been written better.
It's really late and there's more I want to say, but there's so much. xD

iron9567 · 12-06-2009, 02:06 PM

which one?
thanks for replying to my thread none the less i really appreciate it.

Arya Stark · 12-06-2009, 02:13 PM

"Picking up the pieces" is what I read.

iron9567 · 12-06-2009, 02:20 PM

lol yeah ive noticed most of the lines are forced a bit and the structure needs some tweaking.but after not writing for almost a year. It doesn't surprise me any to write a flopper,lol. Do you have a journal on here?

Arya Stark · 12-06-2009, 02:24 PM

I don't respect a lot of the opinion's given here, so no.
I want constructive criticism, not... whatever it is they give. =P

iron9567 · 12-06-2009, 02:31 PM

well im so use to the same thing so anymore i only comment on anyone else work that comment on mine. If you want i guarantee constructive criticism if you wont it on any of your work.

Arya Stark · 12-06-2009, 03:59 PM

Haha, thanks.
Maybe I'll think about it. >.<

11-27-2009, 08:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
iron9567 musicbanter peeping tom Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 74	Iron's writing corner Hello I figured it was time for me to start posting some of my lyrics. As far as what I'm wanting as far as responses to anything i post in this thread. Well what ever you feel like replying with is cool. Thanks the iron man __________________ thanks The iron man I don't want to change the world. I just want to make the world colder then the day I came.

11-27-2009, 08:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
iron9567 musicbanter peeping tom Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 74	This is a colaboration between members: Kristen watlington and myself. I gave the honor of naming the song to KW. Thanks the iron man Writers: the iron man kristen watlington Genre: I would have say it's a rock song where its sung medium octave and medium tempo. LOl if any of that makes sense. Titled: I've had enough You come to me with another tear hanging on your cheek trying out the newest...lie like a fool you try to pull me in It's from the slam of the door you hear the anger in my silence So many things I wanna scream but this silence has gotten the best of me I cant find the words to tell you this time your games won't work you can't pull me in It's time I tell you...I've had enough Standing on behind my door walking down the hall scream all you want Soon I won't hear the screams from outside I won't be here to see what you got to say how can I show you Your worst then drugs made me feel like a sinking ship relationship bound for disaster it took me getting lost in the dark for me to see see the light It's time I tell you...I've had enough Standing on behind my door walking down the hall scream all you want Soon I won't hear the screams from outside I won't be here to see what you got to say Why do you always want to waste our time with something that never felt real but time after time there you are ready for me to get fooled again dont even try and waste my time I'm through with all the games The more I push you away you see me living your dream Every time you turn around it's funny how the bottom feels when it chews you up and spits you out you start to see how I was always there to take you back It's time I tell you...I've had enough Standing on behind my door walking down the hall scream all you want Soon I won't hear the screams from outside I won't be here to see what you got to say the baggage always seems heavier when you have to carry it on your own it's when you stop to sleep you'll see all the pain you've caused only when the door slams is where you'll hear me talking back cause It's time you see...I've had enough Standing on behind my door hearing my footsteps walking down the hall leaving you to scream all you want out of site to show I can still hear I won't be here to see what you got to say __________________ thanks The iron man I don't want to change the world. I just want to make the world colder then the day I came.

11-27-2009, 08:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
iron9567 musicbanter peeping tom Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 74	title: Picking up the pieces Your games/ They pushed me to far away/ I can no longer see me loving you/ And all the wants that you lied about/ And all the needs you demanded from me/ you never cared about me a single second/ tonight im going to start breathing on my own/ im trying to unweave the damage that you've done/ maybe it was best that we never this to work/ all the weight is lifted and i can see the light/ On this afternoon i spent waiting around on you/ I gave the final wasted day by the grip of your hands/ When the heart slowly breaks and falls on the floor,/ i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/ i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/ a shooting star later that night gave me some hope/ i knew i wasnt going to be alone for long/ I can’t explain the feeling that swept over me./ youre finding out things arent like you thought they were/ im wanting to tell you how things always come back around/ tonight im going to start breathing on my own/ im trying to unweave the damage that you've done/ maybe it was best that we never this to work/ all the weight is lifted and i can see the light/ On this afternoon i spent waiting around on you/ I gave the final wasted day by the grip of your hands/ [Chorus] When the heart slowly breaks and falls on the floor,/ i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/ i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/. you want to show me the reasons behind your actions/ It’s too late to try an tell me youre sorry for what youve done/ my heart has moved on for the finall time tonight/, my heart has moved on for the finall time tonight/, Now I’m with someone else that makes me happy/ my life has been so much better since i fell in love/ its my fault that i never seen what was in front of me all along/ It’s better than what you tried to show me through your eyes/ All the times i tried to prove the feelings i had for you/ Now im showing the feelings as i pass you on by/ [Chorus x2] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your games/ They pushed me to far away/ I can no longer see me loving you/ And all the wants that you lied about/ And all the needs you demanded from me/ you never cared about me a single second/ tonight im going to start breathing on my own/ im trying to unweave the damage that you've done/ maybe it was best that we never this to work/ all the weight is lifted and i can see the light/ On this afternoon i spent waiting around on you/ I gave the final wasted day by the grip of your hands/ When the heart slowly breaks and falls on the floor,/ i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/ i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/ a shooting star later that night gave me some hope/ i knew i wasnt going to be alone for long/ I can’t explain the feeling that swept over me./ youre finding out things arent like you thought they were/ im wanting to tell you how things always come back around/ tonight im going to start breathing on my own/ im trying to unweave the damage that you've done/ maybe it was best that we never this to work/ all the weight is lifted and i can see the light/ On this afternoon i spent waiting around on you/ I gave the final wasted day by the grip of your hands/ [Chorus] When the heart slowly breaks and falls on the floor,/ i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/ i slowly pick up the pieces and move on/. you want to show me the reasons behind your actions/ It’s too late to try an tell me youre sorry for what youve done/ my heart has moved on for the finall time tonight/, my heart has moved on for the finall time tonight/, Now I’m with someone else that makes me happy/ my life has been so much better since i fell in love/ its my fault that i never seen what was in front of me all along/ It’s better than what you tried to show me through your eyes/ All the times i tried to prove the feelings i had for you/ Now im showing the feelings as i pass you on by/ [Chorus x2] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ok i got this song come to me earlier. I have no idea why it did, So i tried to make it as different as i could. This is an acoustic genre style song. Comment on it if you like to. It'll be interesting to see what people think when they read it.lol thanks the iron man Title: Smeared lipstick Heeey heeeey heeeeey Your lipstick stains on my ** are blowing my mind I knew it would feel good, but didn't know it be such a mess now my boxers look like I pissed on a rainbow You need to use you mouth and clean it all up/ The smell of you on my balls are getting me sick/ I knew when we it'd be an interesting night/ now you're a * stain away from being a regret/ Hey cheap street lady, how long is all this going to take The way your moving it feels like it wont take much longer Hey cheap street lady, you need to swallow just a little bit more Heeey heeeey heeeey Just a little bit of time, this is all I have to give tonight youre working my ** tonight this aint no love connection, but youre blowing my mind makin me over look the smell to finish this nutt any minute im going to unload this hose In a back alley while the world passes by I could care less for five bucks this is the best head i've ever gotten Hey cheap street lady, how long is all this going to take The way your moving it feels like it wont take much longer Hey cheap street lady, you need to swallow just a little bit more well can you clean the smeared lipstick remove all signs from where you've been I still got a home to go to You're going to be a distant * stain I wont forget ill see you in every rainbow I see in the sky the memory of your smeared lipstick on my **** brings back more then just the smell of your breath Hey cheap street lady, how long is all this going to take The way your moving it feels like it wont take much longer Hey cheap street lady, you need to swallow just a little bit more Heeey heeeey heeeeey Heeey heeeey heeeeey __________________ thanks The iron man I don't want to change the world. I just want to make the world colder then the day I came.

12-06-2009, 02:06 PM	#5 (permalink)
iron9567 musicbanter peeping tom Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 74	which one? thanks for replying to my thread none the less i really appreciate it. __________________ thanks The iron man I don't want to change the world. I just want to make the world colder then the day I came.

12-06-2009, 02:20 PM	#7 (permalink)
iron9567 musicbanter peeping tom Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 74	lol yeah ive noticed most of the lines are forced a bit and the structure needs some tweaking.but after not writing for almost a year. It doesn't surprise me any to write a flopper,lol. Do you have a journal on here? __________________ thanks The iron man I don't want to change the world. I just want to make the world colder then the day I came.

12-06-2009, 02:31 PM	#9 (permalink)
iron9567 musicbanter peeping tom Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 74	well im so use to the same thing so anymore i only comment on anyone else work that comment on mine. If you want i guarantee constructive criticism if you wont it on any of your work. __________________ thanks The iron man I don't want to change the world. I just want to make the world colder then the day I came.