Rawrbabble

These thoughts I think are filled with bliss,
You’re my chance to get back on the path of happiness.
You’re the light that chases my shadows away,
And the light that shines on throughout the day.
You’re the cold to my hot and the hot to my cold,
Regardless of what I have been told.
Some have said to call you banana,
But to me you’re just simply Savannah.
Savannah, so simple, sound and true,
A wonderful person who enjoys Blink-182.
Sometimes I sit and wonder what I am to do.
But that is yet to be known and yet to be found
You lift me up and turn me around
And show me the hope in what is yet to happen.
Savannah, so simple, sound and true
Without you, I wouldn’t know what to do


lets here your thoughts folks.

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No. Your Wrong. So just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong. I always win, unless i get into a argument with my best friend...then she wins...she ALWAYS wins

BillyShears

Some stronger line and some weaker lines, but pretty good. A bit cliche at some points. BUt the rest is great.

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What's this you say? Well, it's an exercise in futility, I do it twice a week to stay in shape.

Rawrbabble

Lol i agree with you 100% cliche, but sometimes being cliche can help a writer get his/her point across. Besides, me and this girl go waaaay back so all the cliche things are more of inside jokes that only me and her really understand, i prolly should have stated that in the OP

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No. Your Wrong. So just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong. I always win, unless i get into a argument with my best friend...then she wins...she ALWAYS wins

savannah

ugh blink 182?

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i changed my mind; i changed my mind;now i'm feeling different

all that time, wasted
i wish i was a little more delicate
i wish my
i wish my
i wish my
i wish my
i wish my name was clementine - sarah jaffe

t3hplatyz0rz

I think that inside jokes, personal symbols, etc, are extremely good. I love them.
Just don't expect anybody to get them.

So, as a poem from you to Savannah, it's probably pretty good. But from you to a random reader, it's... well... I just don't get it. And I'm pretty sure that everybody else reading this feels the same way.
Because of that, I really can't offer an accurate review, but I'll try.
This line in particular is very cliche. I think that, while being cliche can help get your point across, there are better ways to do it.