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Old 10-16-2010, 10:21 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Schmidti View Post
Good afternoon!
I have written a new, melancholic, mediative song about leaving the monotony.
Schmidti, instead of asking what instruments you play, I should ask what instruments you *don't* play!

Great saxophone playing in your monotony song. The image of going to the university library makes me shudder. It reminds me of memories of studying for hours and hours and hours that I'd rather forget. :/

I especially like your motivation song. Wonderful instrumentals! Very jazzy. I don't know which to like more, your musicianship or your video work! Seeing the double you was a great effect, and I love the scenes of your village and the forest. I am envious of your trumpet skills. I bought a trumpet fairly recently, but haven't progressed far. I suppose I have to practice sometime, huh?

I relate to your motivation lyrics very much. All the plans and dreams of doing more, and the downhearted feeling when you don't manage to get yourself to do what you want. But then the feeling of inspiration hits again! You use very dense lyrics...a lot of words close together. I felt the song might benefit from having a slower section, where the words are more drawn out.

Schmidti, I have made a few changes in your English translation below, in bold, where I felt they might be in order.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Schmidti View Post


and here the text:

Hab schon alles geplant
I have already arranged everything

übermorgen fang ich an
and I’ll begin the day after tomorrow

dann bin ich überübermorgen fertig
then, I will be ready the day after the day after tomorrow

Gott sei Dank
Thank God!

Es würde ja reichen,
It would be enough

wenn ich 4 Stunden am Tag mach,
to work 4 hours a day

dann hab ich an die 12 Stunden Freizeit,
so I’ll have nearly 12 hours of leisure
pro Tag
per day!

come on!

Inzwischen ist es überübermorgen
By now, it’s the day after the day after tomorrow

Und die Sonne scheint auf meinen Bauch
And the sun is shining on my waist (stomach)

Ich lieg im Liegestuhl denn das Wetter ist so wunderschön
I’m lying in the canvas chair and the wheather is so gorgeous

Ich glaube, dass ich die nächsten Tage
I think I won't need to do any work

mal nichts zu tun brauch,
for the next few days

eine Woche später ein riesen Berg Arbeit, was ist geschehn?!
One week later, a colossal mountain of work, what has happened?!

Ich war doch so motiviert,
But I was so motivated,

hab alles genau geplant,
have arranged everything accurately

doch wiedermal ist nichts passiert
but once again nothing happened,

ich fing ja nichtmal damit an,
I didn’t even begin,

wo ist meine Energie?
Where is my energy?

Ich hab sie verloren irgendwann
I’ve lost it sometime,

Ich bräuchte eine Batterie
I needed a battery

Dann treibt mich wenigstens irgendwas an
Then at least I'd get something started.

Come on!

Auch dieses Lied
Also this song

Lies länger auf sich warten
Took a lot of time.
made me wait for it longer than expected
(there really isn't a good direct translation, is there)


Hatte es im Kopf,
it was in my head,

doch da blieb es lang
but there it was camping a lot of time

Wollt gleich texten,
I wanted to write the lyrics,

aufnehmen,
record it,

arrangieren
arrange it

damit ich es gleich
so that I can upload it at once

auf Youtube stellen kann
to youtube

Come on!

Doch das Sofa war so bequem
But the couch was so comfortable

Und es lief grad so ein guter Film
And there was such a good film on TV

Den muss ich mir jetzt unbedingt ansehn
I absolutely had to see it right away

Manchmal braucht man einfach mal Entspannung
Sometimes you just need to relax

Man muss doch abundzu mal chilln,
you have to chill from time to time

Doch das Lied blieb wieder ungeschrieben
But the song wasn’t written!

Ref

Und dann jogg ich 20 km
And then I’m jogging 20 km

Durch die Stadt und durch den Wald
Through the city and through the forest,

Mach noch 30 Liegestützen
And do 30 push-ups

Und dann dusch ich eiskalt
And I take a freezing shower

Denn eine leise Stimme in mir drin
Because a quiet voice in my head

Sagte “wach auf!”
Said: “Wake up!”

Du kannst noch so viel erreichen,
You can still achieve so much,

mach was daraus
make the best of it!
make something of it!

Doch jetzt bin ich inspiriert,
But now I’m inspired

in Zukunft werd ich ein besserer Mann,
in the future I'll become a better man

sodass jeden Tag was passiert,
so that every day something happens

ich fang jetzt sofort damit an
and I begin at once

ich nehm mir meine Energie
I get my energy

aus einem guten Schnitzel daheim,
from a good meal at home

das ist viel besser als ne Batterie,
that’s much better than a battery

und heizt meinen Stoffwechsel gut ein!
and speeds up my metabolism very well!

Come on!

So, come on, your Schmidti
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"

Last edited by VEGANGELICA; 10-16-2010 at 10:27 AM.
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Old 10-21-2010, 11:29 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Hey, Erica!

I'm glad you like my songs :-)
In fact, I'm relatively poor in playing the trumpet, I just played these 5 notes so often so that it sounded good enough for the record :-)
Well, you are right, there is much text in not much time in the motivation song, but in the monotony there is all the less text, so in the average, it's all right :-) Yes, how I would like to be able to write such poetical lyrics like you so that there's a message between the lines, but I can only produce direct lyrics which say what they say, I'll work on it!
Thank you very much for correcting my English translation, it's really unbelievable how much work you always invest for me!
And by the way, I don't play the German flute, the tuba, the oboe, ... ,but I'm still young, perhaps this will change in a few years :-)

Have a good weekend!

~Schmidti
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Old 10-22-2010, 08:26 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Schmidti View Post
Hey, Erica!

I'm glad you like my songs :-)
In fact, I'm relatively poor in playing the trumpet, I just played these 5 notes so often so that it sounded good enough for the record :-)
Heh heh...that's exactly what I was planning to do with my trumpet playing! Learn to play the few notes I need, then use those for recording, since learning to play very well in all the octaves will take me months!

I have a trumpet question for you: I can get a clear note out of the trumpet (by compressing my lips in a flat line and buzzing), but I find the note that comes out is flatter than it is supposed to be. When I tighten my embouchure and increase the air flow, the note is *still* flat. I tried adjusting valve length, but it didn't help. Do you think I just need an even stronger embouchure? I'm worried I'll never get a correct note out of my trumpet!

Quote:
Well, you are right, there is much text in not much time in the motivation song, but in the monotony there is all the less text, so in the average, it's all right :-) Yes, how I would like to be able to write such poetical lyrics like you so that there's a message between the lines, but I can only produce direct lyrics which say what they say, I'll work on it!
Thank you very much for correcting my English translation, it's really unbelievable how much work you always invest for me!
And by the way, I don't play the German flute, the tuba, the oboe, ... ,but I'm still young, perhaps this will change in a few years :-)
You are very welcome for my corrections of your English translations. It is my pleasure to do them, if they continue to be useful for you. I've always enjoyed editing and I love German, so I like reading your German lyrics and seeing if my translations differ from yours. If you change your mind and *don't* want the corrections, just let me know!

Schmidti, you know how I said once that I feel you should use some German lyrics in your songs? I'm now thinking that maybe if there aren't enough English words in the songs then quite a few viewers really won't appreciate your music as much as they could. Maybe it *is* better to have song lyrics be mostly in English, to widen the target audience, if that is a goal?

Only three instruments that you don't play? (Maybe the ... refers to a fourth!)

Well, you're right, you still have time to stop being a slacker and learn how to play those. If I don't hear some tuba or a few oboe tweets in your next song, I'll be severely disappointed!

~ Erica
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
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Old 10-23-2010, 01:38 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Hey, Erica!

I’m always glad to be corrected in my translations, so my English skills also improve, so please don’t stop doing it :-)
Oh, I will immediately stop being a slacker and learn a few more instruments :-), well unfortunately I sometimes also have to learn a little bit for the study…
But the next song will be in English again, I hope!
Hmm, I’m not really sure what you make wrong with the trumpet. How flat is the tone that comes, is the difference a whole semitone or a whole step or just a little detune?! Because a detune normally can be corrected by the bigger slide. And of course the mouth and the breathing is also responsible for the tune, but if you have a high tension on your lips and enough breath and your tone that comes doesn’t flutter, then you make it alright! But test the higher tones, you will have less problems with the intonation with higher tones than with lower ones!

Mfg Schmidti
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Old 10-24-2010, 05:42 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Schmidti View Post
Hey, Erica!

I’m always glad to be corrected in my translations, so my English skills also improve, so please don’t stop doing it :-)
Oh, I will immediately stop being a slacker and learn a few more instruments :-), well unfortunately I sometimes also have to learn a little bit for the study…
But the next song will be in English again, I hope!
I'm glad the corrections are helpful. Your German lyrics help me with my German, too. I look forward to your next English song!

Quote:
Hmm, I’m not really sure what you make wrong with the trumpet. How flat is the tone that comes, is the difference a whole semitone or a whole step or just a little detune?! Because a detune normally can be corrected by the bigger slide. And of course the mouth and the breathing is also responsible for the tune, but if you have a high tension on your lips and enough breath and your tone that comes doesn’t flutter, then you make it alright! But test the higher tones, you will have less problems with the intonation with higher tones than with lower ones!

Mfg Schmidti
I think I have high lip tension and an even tone on the lower notes (even if they aren't the correct note), but since I can't get the higher tones well I think this means I haven't developed my lip muscles enough! I remember that when I played clarinet frequently, my muscles were much stronger then. I think maybe I just need to build up endurance again.

I will try practicing more and see what happens, Schmidti. I had hoped the trumpet would be easier to play! It looks so effortless when I see others playing... sigh.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
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Old 10-25-2010, 12:53 PM   #36 (permalink)
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I like your music and I love your videos. Moreover, I really like the sound of German and especially with music.
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Old 10-29-2010, 08:20 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Erica, you'll make that with the trumpet, it's not that difficult, I believe in you :-)!

Hey, Viktoria! Thank you very much, nice to hear that you like it! Many greetings to Sweden!
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