Lookin for some opinions on my rap lyrics

Gray-M · 04-13-2010, 12:33 PM

been writing lyrics for a couple months, just trying new things all the time. This is one that ive only just started. Might seem a bit ****ed up when its not sung on a beat :/ anyway..

Sitin here in a dark spot with ma lap-top
still smashed from the last joint,
motherfu*kers still grabbed by ma last song,
"crazy days" was ma last stop,
all a did was open note pad and then blast on
jottin words till am bored or till am past points
a can keep goin like andy goram saving slap shots
but slap shots is a hokey term and andy goram was a soccer goaly
holy s*** you totally wrecked ma rap song
and this is ma song, this is ma story
but am not from balamory, am fae paisley,
a stay crazy, and a do ma job every day,
but only it pays daily
a need cash, everbodys on the same boat
i'd do anythin expect from f*** a male goat
f*** that, f*** wit, f*** who, f*** them
f*** the government cos theyd send anyone out to war, but them

~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ · 04-13-2010, 03:33 PM

I quite like them, actually. It's nothing deep or anything, but it doesn't try to be... which on this forum is quite refreshing. The bits about writing the song were a nice tongue-in-cheek type thing. My only complaint is the last line doesn't seem to fit, but I don't know how the beat might fix that up.

Keep doing it.

Gray-M · 04-13-2010, 04:33 PM

Thanks man. Yeh it looks as if it wouldnt fit but surprisingly it goes quite well with the instrumental im using. I'll post more as i progress, and maybe if its allowed i can post the finished recording when i get it done.

~~jace~~ · 04-13-2010, 06:24 PM

Its hard to read somebody's flow, but i'm sure it rapped would sound better than me trying to read it, lol

Gray-M · 04-14-2010, 09:59 AM

Ive carried the song on and done about a minute and a halfs worth of lyrics, is it ok to upload it to speedyshare or something and post a link here?

04-13-2010, 12:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
Gray-M Groupie Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 3	Need YOUR opinion please! Lyrics been writing lyrics for a couple months, just trying new things all the time. This is one that ive only just started. Might seem a bit ***ed up when its not sung on a beat :/ anyway.. Sitin here in a dark spot with ma lap-top still smashed from the last joint, motherfukers still grabbed by ma last song, "crazy days" was ma last stop, all a did was open note pad and then blast on jottin words till am bored or till am past points a can keep goin like andy goram saving slap shots but slap shots is a hokey term and andy goram was a soccer goaly holy s* you totally wrecked ma rap song and this is ma song, this is ma story but am not from balamory, am fae paisley, a stay crazy, and a do ma job every day, but only it pays daily a need cash, everbodys on the same boat i'd do anythin expect from f* a male goat f* that, f* wit, f* who, f* them f*** the government cos theyd send anyone out to war, but them Last edited by Gray-M; 04-13-2010 at 01:53 PM.

04-13-2010, 03:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4,538	I quite like them, actually. It's nothing deep or anything, but it doesn't try to be... which on this forum is quite refreshing. The bits about writing the song were a nice tongue-in-cheek type thing. My only complaint is the last line doesn't seem to fit, but I don't know how the beat might fix that up. Keep doing it.

04-13-2010, 04:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
Gray-M Groupie Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 3	Thanks man. Yeh it looks as if it wouldnt fit but surprisingly it goes quite well with the instrumental im using. I'll post more as i progress, and maybe if its allowed i can post the finished recording when i get it done.

04-13-2010, 06:24 PM	#4 (permalink)
~~jace~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: L.A. Posts: 15	Its hard to read somebody's flow, but i'm sure it rapped would sound better than me trying to read it, lol

04-14-2010, 09:59 AM	#5 (permalink)
Gray-M Groupie Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 3	Ive carried the song on and done about a minute and a halfs worth of lyrics, is it ok to upload it to speedyshare or something and post a link here?