Hey people, need comments on this song i wrote

CitlaliScarlett · 06-12-2010, 04:42 PM

so yea people, just need someone to view my song it's not the best I've written, but who knows....

Loving Your Hate

Verse:
I pull myself apart
Losing the pieces
And some are crushed to dust
No matter how much I try
The screaming never ceases

I want to believe
That theres a chance for me
to start my life over and not grieve

Chorus:
I wish you would fall with me
And suffer what you put me through
But I will always say I love you, dear
I won't deny that somewhere in me
I believe you'll find me, dear, oh

Verse:
I trusted every lie told
And I walked into your empty core
Where the truth began to unfold
And even though I hate what you are
I find that this side of you I seem to adore

Chorus:
I wish you would fall with me
And suffer what you put me through
But I will always say I love you, love
I won't deny that somewhere in me
I believe you'll find me, love

Verse:
I thought I would find something true
I thought you were my perfect other half
But you are just as empty as me, just as cruel
I cry for you, my love, but you simply laugh

Chorus:
I wish you would fall with me
And suffer what you put me through
And I will always say I love you, dear
I won't deny that somewhere lost in me
I believe you'll find me, dear

I believe you'll find me
The pieces I lost
And replace the missing ones
But I'm just dreaming it
And I'm loving your hate

Nadia · 06-15-2010, 11:41 AM

I think this is quite generic, but to be fair it is difficult to write a completely original song about love

CitlaliScarlett · 06-21-2010, 04:57 PM

Yes, true. Thank you. Like I said before it wasn't my best, but you never know. Thank you, again

wildmountainthyme · 06-21-2010, 05:08 PM

it sounds like a lene lovich song? check out her bird song. i like this, pretty mad, pretty desperate, pretty hopeless. like to hear it sung.
wmt, cheers.

CitlaliScarlett · 06-21-2010, 06:37 PM

thank you very much. Yeah i like her bird song i think its cool how she starts the song too working on it some more thank you again

CitlaliScarlett · 06-22-2010, 11:19 AM

Yea here's another song i wrote again it might not be awesome, but yea...
Check out another song i previously wrote "Loving Your Hate"

Sweet Sorrow

Verse:
Dark eyes
And empty lies
Without an answer to the question
Missing reasons

What is left behind me
Shows up and consumes me

Chorus:
My mistakes left me stranded
I smile and try to hold on to them
And only you have reminded
That I want to hold on to them

Verse:
I run away from you
I turn back to you
It's not easy to let go
It's not easy to say goodbye

What I left behind me
Comes back and attacks me

Chorus:
My mistakes left me
I smile and held onto them
Only you remind me
That I can't let go of them

Bridge:
The question asked is still hovering above you
The answer has no reason
There's no other way to put it
I hate you

Chorus:
My mistakes left me
I smile and held onto them
But only you remind me
That I'm still in love with my sorrow

doc · 06-25-2010, 10:26 AM

CitlaliScarlett you are pretty good.
You see... i compose music but i cannot write the lyrics. i just don't have that "thing" you know. i kinda envy you. next time you have a good one share it as well.

CitlaliScarlett · 06-25-2010, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doc

CitlaliScarlett you are pretty good.
You see... i compose music but i cannot write the lyrics. i just don't have that "thing" you know. i kinda envy you. next time you have a good one share it as well.

Lol that is so weird. I cannot compose music, but I can write lyrics. So as you can see, it's frustrating to have half of a song done. It would be cool if we could come up with something together.

CitlaliScarlett · 06-25-2010, 04:37 PM

People think I can't write anything happy and loving instead of sad and deception so I gave it a try. I hope it's as good as my other ones. P.S. this is literally my first try to write happy songs. Like NO LIE!

Without You

I sit alone in a dark room
Thinking of what I have done
I'm suffocating in these fumes
Of lying and mistrusting

I cannot find the way to blame you
I messed it all up,
For the both of us

I feel empty inside myself
I feel my soul missing inside me
Love, believe me even if I can't myself
I can't live a life in which you don't exist in

What I would do to have you back
To make you mine again
To rewind and playback
To be able to say your name without fear

I cannot find the way to blame anyone
I made a mistake,
Heal this heartache

I feel empty inside myself
I feel my soul missing
Trust me even if I can't myself
I can't live this life without a reason

Kill the anguish burning me
Kill the pain that destroys me
Heal the sorrow
Forgive me

I feel empty inside myself
I feel something missing
Love me even if I can't myself
I can't live this life without you

I won't live this life without you
I won't
Without you

I Will Die For You

I was nothing
Until I found you
I was nothing
Until I knew I loved you

And I just want to say
That I'd give my life to you

There's no more reason for tears
You wipe them away
All my fears have disappeared
There's only one way to return the favor

You fixed me
And made me right
You healed me
And made the world right

And I just want to say
That I'd give my life to you

There's no more reason for any tears
You washed them away
All my fears have disappeared
I want to retun the favor

I want to love you
And make it right
I want to die for you
I will die for you

There's no more reason for any tears
You washed the pain away
All of my fears have disappeared
I will return the favor

I will love you
I will fight for you
I will die for you
I will die for you

leptoon · 07-05-2010, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CitlaliScarlett

I'm suffocating in these fumes
Of lying and mistrusting

I cannot find the way to blame you
I messed it all up,
For the both of us

I feel empty inside myself
I feel my soul missing inside me
Love, believe me even if I can't myself
I can't live a life in which you don't exist in

Quote:

I Will Die For You

Happy? I think not. You should try to think of a positive quality of someone you really love, or something you really love doing, and write about it. True happiness comes from the heart. Love is the key to happiness, and death is not happy in any context.

06-12-2010, 04:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
CitlaliScarlett Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: somewhere and if you can here my call then you're down in this same world with me, if not, well.... Posts: 53	Hey people, need comments on this song i wrote so yea people, just need someone to view my song it's not the best I've written, but who knows.... Loving Your Hate Verse: I pull myself apart Losing the pieces And some are crushed to dust No matter how much I try The screaming never ceases I want to believe That theres a chance for me to start my life over and not grieve Chorus: I wish you would fall with me And suffer what you put me through But I will always say I love you, dear I won't deny that somewhere in me I believe you'll find me, dear, oh Verse: I trusted every lie told And I walked into your empty core Where the truth began to unfold And even though I hate what you are I find that this side of you I seem to adore Chorus: I wish you would fall with me And suffer what you put me through But I will always say I love you, love I won't deny that somewhere in me I believe you'll find me, love Verse: I thought I would find something true I thought you were my perfect other half But you are just as empty as me, just as cruel I cry for you, my love, but you simply laugh Chorus: I wish you would fall with me And suffer what you put me through And I will always say I love you, dear I won't deny that somewhere lost in me I believe you'll find me, dear I believe you'll find me The pieces I lost And replace the missing ones But I'm just dreaming it And I'm loving your hate

06-22-2010, 11:19 AM	#6 (permalink)
CitlaliScarlett Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: somewhere and if you can here my call then you're down in this same world with me, if not, well.... Posts: 53	Another song I was bored Yea here's another song i wrote again it might not be awesome, but yea... Check out another song i previously wrote "Loving Your Hate" Sweet Sorrow Verse: Dark eyes And empty lies Without an answer to the question Missing reasons What is left behind me Shows up and consumes me Chorus: My mistakes left me stranded I smile and try to hold on to them And only you have reminded That I want to hold on to them Verse: I run away from you I turn back to you It's not easy to let go It's not easy to say goodbye What I left behind me Comes back and attacks me Chorus: My mistakes left me I smile and held onto them Only you remind me That I can't let go of them Bridge: The question asked is still hovering above you The answer has no reason There's no other way to put it I hate you Chorus: My mistakes left me I smile and held onto them But only you remind me That I'm still in love with my sorrow

06-25-2010, 04:37 PM	#9 (permalink)
CitlaliScarlett Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: somewhere and if you can here my call then you're down in this same world with me, if not, well.... Posts: 53	I was bored AGAIN People think I can't write anything happy and loving instead of sad and deception so I gave it a try. I hope it's as good as my other ones. P.S. this is literally my first try to write happy songs. Like NO LIE! Without You I sit alone in a dark room Thinking of what I have done I'm suffocating in these fumes Of lying and mistrusting I cannot find the way to blame you I messed it all up, For the both of us I feel empty inside myself I feel my soul missing inside me Love, believe me even if I can't myself I can't live a life in which you don't exist in What I would do to have you back To make you mine again To rewind and playback To be able to say your name without fear I cannot find the way to blame anyone I made a mistake, Heal this heartache I feel empty inside myself I feel my soul missing Trust me even if I can't myself I can't live this life without a reason Kill the anguish burning me Kill the pain that destroys me Heal the sorrow Forgive me I feel empty inside myself I feel something missing Love me even if I can't myself I can't live this life without you I won't live this life without you I won't Without you I Will Die For You I was nothing Until I found you I was nothing Until I knew I loved you And I just want to say That I'd give my life to you There's no more reason for tears You wipe them away All my fears have disappeared There's only one way to return the favor You fixed me And made me right You healed me And made the world right And I just want to say That I'd give my life to you There's no more reason for any tears You washed them away All my fears have disappeared I want to retun the favor I want to love you And make it right I want to die for you I will die for you There's no more reason for any tears You washed the pain away All of my fears have disappeared I will return the favor I will love you I will fight for you I will die for you I will die for you

06-15-2010, 11:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
Nadia Groupie Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: nowhere near you Posts: 45	I think this is quite generic, but to be fair it is difficult to write a completely original song about love

06-21-2010, 04:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
CitlaliScarlett Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: somewhere and if you can here my call then you're down in this same world with me, if not, well.... Posts: 53	Yes, true. Thank you. Like I said before it wasn't my best, but you never know. Thank you, again

06-21-2010, 05:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
wildmountainthyme Groupie Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 15	it sounds like a lene lovich song? check out her bird song. i like this, pretty mad, pretty desperate, pretty hopeless. like to hear it sung. wmt, cheers.

06-21-2010, 06:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
CitlaliScarlett Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: somewhere and if you can here my call then you're down in this same world with me, if not, well.... Posts: 53	thank you very much. Yeah i like her bird song i think its cool how she starts the song too working on it some more thank you again

06-25-2010, 10:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
doc Groupie Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 3	CitlaliScarlett you are pretty good. You see... i compose music but i cannot write the lyrics. i just don't have that "thing" you know. i kinda envy you. next time you have a good one share it as well.