Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-14-2011, 10:28 PM   #31 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Ghost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Where am I?
Posts: 29
Default

LUNELIGHT. How's it gooooing! I'm gonna comment on your lyrics "Unworthy Soul" cause they somehow spoke to me, cliche as that sounds. I just kinda get what they are and where they're coming from, because at the moment I'm feeling the same as you described. Almost. But anyways, a couple of lines that I liked were "Every road thus far i've followed to a dead end/Along the way I found and lost what I thought were friends." and "When winter turns the ripples above me to ice/So shall it freeze the pain in my eyes". Buuut, the only line that I thought to be slightly awkward was "Sinking, death embraces me. No light...". Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about it, it's just that where you placed it was kind of odd. To me. Anyways, good work, keep it up!
Ghost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2011, 02:18 PM   #32 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Cape Town, SA
Posts: 52
Default

Thanx Ghost... Lol ur right, that line does seem a bit out of place hey... I think I lost track of what I was trying to write when I reached that part of the poem.
LuneLight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2011, 11:58 AM   #33 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Cape Town, SA
Posts: 52
Default End of my world...

I imagine the stars falling from the sky and the ground giving way beneath my feet
Winds swirling as I fall through dust
I'm dreaming about the end of the world
Its life seeping through the cracks
And everything is falling into the end until they turn to black

Every time I open my eyes there's less to see
Life slips by so fast, it seems as though i'm frozen
And as it all disappears around me I can't hold on to anything good
I remain asleep, alone and frozen...

Drifting above the clouds I feel nothing but the silence tearing my skin from the bone
My eyes shatter. The portrait of my soul is cracked
Shadows come for me and take me to the dead ground
They lay me down
Stars fall from the sky, the ground gives way beneath me
And I'm falling through the dust

Last edited by LuneLight; 02-15-2012 at 06:11 PM.
LuneLight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2011, 04:12 PM   #34 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Mr November's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Halifax, Canada
Posts: 429
Default

Good poem about mortality. I think it must be about the anxiety of knowing you're going to die, and being aware that time is running out to make something of life.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I liked it.
Mr November is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2011, 02:13 PM   #35 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
crukster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 180
Default

your poems suck you should feel bad
crukster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-23-2011, 06:54 PM   #36 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Cape Town, SA
Posts: 52
Default Crazy for feeling this way

Maybe i'm crazy for letting the years roll by believing that there's still something between us,
Because i'm looking at you now as you're living your life...
And i'm trying see where I fit in... But I don't.
Seems you've already forgotten...
And a part of me wishes that you'd be in my shoes
But the part of me that loves you hopes that you'll never be...
I still want you to be happy no matter what
But letting you walk away with someone else leaves me so empty...
Everytime you try to get away, your lips move but I don't hear what you say
I don't want to hear "goodbye"
Maybe i'm crazy for feeling this way

I'm still hoping that something I say will make your heart skip a beat and force you to remember the way you said you'll love me beyond this world's boundaries
But every attempt I make at getting closer to you only makes you slip away that much faster
But no! This isn't the way it goes in my mind
You're supposed to realise that i'm all you need and you'll run away from everything to be with me...
Together we'll show everyone what love really is...

You say i'm crazy for thinking this way...
Maybe I am because the years roll by and I still believe there's something between us.
i'm looking at you now as you're living your life...
And i'm trying see where I fit in... But I don't.
Seems you've already forgotten...
And a part of me wishes that you'd be in my shoes
But the part of me that loves you hopes that you'll never be...
I still want you to be happy no matter what
But letting you walk away with someone else leaves me so empty...
LuneLight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-23-2011, 09:01 PM   #37 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
crukster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 180
Default

That didn't suck I apologise. Nice work. I relate.
crukster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2011, 03:24 AM   #38 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Cape Town, SA
Posts: 52
Default Grey angels

A darkness took the place of you and left me in this place
Where I turned cold in the absence of your heart
Footprints reside all over the grounds where my angel stood
Where his words turned my love to stone
*
He knew what to say to make me believe he came from heaven
As strong as I was, I was only a puppet in his hands
I was eager to believe in every promise
My faith in him was strong
Until I gave him my soul and he was gone
*
He painted a portrait of my pain
In shades of grey, a body lay bare and twisted in torment
Left to suffer in silence on a wall for everyone to see

Though I was empty, a heaviness pulled me to my knees
And the echo of a heartbeat filled the cavity in my chest
in the hole the angel left
I pray that this pain kills me
Turns me to fragments of grey
And with all the dust, the wind takes me away
So that I won't be deceived by angels again

Last edited by LuneLight; 11-27-2018 at 11:18 AM.
LuneLight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2011, 06:40 PM   #39 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 46
Default

I loved grey angels. Pretty much how you described everything. Got nothing I want to change or replace. The kind of litteratur I enjoy, and it's all so gentle. Well done mate.
ParadoxQ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2011, 10:49 AM   #40 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Cape Town, SA
Posts: 52
Default As long as it's dark

Shut your eyes and freeze time
Let me lay with you for a little while
Make believe we were strong enough to make it as far as we dreamed
While it's dark we can just keep on believing that we've always been and will always be this happy
Just don't open your eyes

Is there anything I could do to stall the sunrise?
I'd sell my soul for this illusion
As long as it's dark
I see things as I want them to appear

Close your eyes and put your hand in mine
We'll go on living as if nothing ever went wrong
You don't need to be afraid
You're safe if you want to be
The darkness will keep our lives so far away
And we can pretend this is the only life we've ever had
Just don't open your eyes

What do I have to do to stall the sunrise?
I'd sell my soul for one more night in this illusion
As long as it's dark and shadows keep the world from me
I see everything as I want it to be

Close your eyes and let's be perfect
We can pretend that this is really who we are
As long as it's dark we can still be happy
Until the sun rises and forces us back into our broken lives

Last edited by LuneLight; 02-15-2012 at 06:16 PM.
LuneLight is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads
  • Two Poems, Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry Forum, 1 replies
  • 3 old poems, Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry Forum, 0 replies
  • my poems, Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry Forum, 55 replies



© 2003-2020 Advameg, Inc.