Rccheetah's Collection

rccheetah · 12-12-2014, 11:08 PM

Thought it was time to start one of these since songwriting is a big part of my life.

This is a song a wrote recently, I would love some input on it!

Unforgettable Lyrics
I never liked to stand alone
so I sat myself at home
I lived delayed, stuck in my own time

You always dwelled on the past
Oh the times you wished would last
They’re all gone before long
and you’re left with nothing

We might fall apart too quickly
I didn’t even get your name
A town of crowded people
and no one was the same

Nowhere near to perfect
But I couldn’t close my eyes
Is it me
or could this be something more
this isn’t quite love, but it’s been done before

I thought this wasn’t right
So I’d ask everynight
Was this wrong, should I play along
When my blood starts rushing

They said, “Strangers can’t be close,
But you might as well just boast because
you broke the rules so
you must have something”

We might fall apart too quickly
I didn’t even get your name
A town of crowded people
and no one was the same

Nowhere near to perfect
But I couldn’t close my eyes
Is it me
or could this be something more
this isn’t quite love, but it’s been done before

We might fall apart too quickly
I didn’t even get your name
A town of crowded people
and no one was the same

Nowhere near to perfect
But I couldn’t close my eyes
Is it me
or could this be something more
this isn’t quite love, but it’s been done be-

-forrrreeeeeee
It’s been done before
this isn’t quite love
you have me undone
yeah

We didn’t fall apart so quickly
And I really love your name
A town of crowded people
But you’re what keeps me sane

The closest to perfection
and I still can’t close my eyes
Is it me
Or will this be something more

nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah (x8)

And I still can’t believe
You walked right in and never shut the door
Can I really see
If only I had known
You were bound to be unforgettable

Mr.Cramming · 12-14-2014, 09:05 AM

Hi there, I really liked your lyrics.

Very nice!! Though if you're interested in making out of it a song (which is mostly not going to be rap, I hope), you'll have to sum it all up a little shorter (maybe switch out two verses), because otherwise it will take around 7-10 minutes.

Machine · 12-14-2014, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Cramming

Hi there, I really liked your lyrics.

Very nice!! Though if you're interested in making out of it a song (which is mostly not going to be rap, I hope), you'll have to sum it all up a little shorter (maybe switch out two verses), because otherwise it will take around 7-10 minutes.

Not nesasarily depending on the speed of the song and how they will be sung. And ti add who says a 7 to 10 minute song is a bad thing.

Also I liked the song a lot!

Mr.Cramming · 12-14-2014, 01:48 PM

I tend to believe songwriters try to produce songs that are potential in commerce. I think making two songs out of those lyrics would be better than one long song. This has potential, but it needs some corrections and some order. Pretty much it is about personal preference, but mostly this is to be separated into two songs and re-arranged then just keeping it 7-10 minute song or a fast-sung song (as the lyrics are more fit for either slow-bit rap or slow rock ballads/songs).

Machine · 12-14-2014, 06:54 PM

Yeah but how would it work as two songs it's one message plus splitting it in two Is not condensing

12-12-2014, 11:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
rccheetah Groupie Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 4	Rccheetah's Collection Thought it was time to start one of these since songwriting is a big part of my life. This is a song a wrote recently, I would love some input on it! Unforgettable Lyrics I never liked to stand alone so I sat myself at home I lived delayed, stuck in my own time You always dwelled on the past Oh the times you wished would last They’re all gone before long and you’re left with nothing We might fall apart too quickly I didn’t even get your name A town of crowded people and no one was the same Nowhere near to perfect But I couldn’t close my eyes Is it me or could this be something more this isn’t quite love, but it’s been done before I thought this wasn’t right So I’d ask everynight Was this wrong, should I play along When my blood starts rushing They said, “Strangers can’t be close, But you might as well just boast because you broke the rules so you must have something” We might fall apart too quickly I didn’t even get your name A town of crowded people and no one was the same Nowhere near to perfect But I couldn’t close my eyes Is it me or could this be something more this isn’t quite love, but it’s been done before We might fall apart too quickly I didn’t even get your name A town of crowded people and no one was the same Nowhere near to perfect But I couldn’t close my eyes Is it me or could this be something more this isn’t quite love, but it’s been done be- -forrrreeeeeee It’s been done before this isn’t quite love you have me undone yeah We didn’t fall apart so quickly And I really love your name A town of crowded people But you’re what keeps me sane The closest to perfection and I still can’t close my eyes Is it me Or will this be something more nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah (x8) And I still can’t believe You walked right in and never shut the door Can I really see If only I had known You were bound to be unforgettable

12-14-2014, 06:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
Machine moon lake inc. Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Detroit Posts: 2,125	Yeah but how would it work as two songs it's one message plus splitting it in two Is not condensing __________________ boost my ego listen to me stroke my delay pedal ever wanted to hear death grips songs... but they're acoustic? me neither.

12-14-2014, 09:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mr.Cramming Groupie Join Date: Dec 2014 Posts: 18	Hi there, I really liked your lyrics. Very nice!! Though if you're interested in making out of it a song (which is mostly not going to be rap, I hope), you'll have to sum it all up a little shorter (maybe switch out two verses), because otherwise it will take around 7-10 minutes.

12-14-2014, 01:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mr.Cramming Groupie Join Date: Dec 2014 Posts: 18	I tend to believe songwriters try to produce songs that are potential in commerce. I think making two songs out of those lyrics would be better than one long song. This has potential, but it needs some corrections and some order. Pretty much it is about personal preference, but mostly this is to be separated into two songs and re-arranged then just keeping it 7-10 minute song or a fast-sung song (as the lyrics are more fit for either slow-bit rap or slow rock ballads/songs).