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Old 10-10-2015, 09:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1
Default My first written song (Rap)

This is my first lyrical song so I ask you, how did I do? Some credit goes to an artist who's name escapes me.

(Introduction)
[Kameron this is for you, I'm always here and I'll never forget about you. But don't forget about me either, I love you]
***************
***** (Chorus)
Baby where'd you go
Baby please what happened?
I'm sorry it was an accent
But I'm never gone
Itll Never be for long
I promise this I'll be persistent
Never be resistant
Love you to the end
Let the fire in my heart win
But promise me this
Through thick and thin
Baby please for me remember every kiss

this is my life but you control it
took my heart and ****in stole it
nvr asked you to loan it
i pleaded for you to own it
baby please lets jsut get on wid it
the feelings u hid feeling like you wish you did it
just screaming
hey lets be kids lets end it
lets get on with our lives
and party till five
bounce girl to girl
while you bounce guy to guy
I wonder did you ever see me cry?
all i ever did was love you
believe these dreams would come true
Never yell and scream at you
Couldn't ever be mad at you
im not strong enough to be by myself
just wishing youd help
and give me the ****in courage* needed to be,
on this earth and not be cursed
to be miserable can't you see
Please help me make these thoughts probable
these horrible thoughts and pain is stopable
baby please don't leave me,help me
before i scream and shout
Before you pay my bail
Please lets make this love prevail
In the past three months
I felt like I never could love someone this much
You made me
Controlled me
Own me
You can't just get up on me and leave me
I'm here for us
Never meant to fuss
I just wanted for it to last
But that's not in the past
We can comeback
Make out lives live fast
Riding with each other with our fans in the back
I'll never forget who?
But don't forget me too
Like I said, baby truly I love you
Just just promise youll do
Something in despite my rage
Through smoke and haze
Well always see the brighter days
Are coming
Follow me and we'll bring out the light
Because baby I willing to fight
Willing to die
Just to see you
But* for now is goodbye
Sayanara baby I guess I'll* be seeing you tonight.
(Chorus)
Another verse dedicated towards the woman of my life
I will make a long stride just for you to be my wife
I'll pick up this knife
And I'll make with the time right sure it night
Because baby without you it's hard to breathe
Baby I promised myself to you and for that you own me
Never wanting to leave
And I never will
you own dovahnkiin
But we just have to chill
I'm rapping not for the impeccable imperialists
I'm rapping get for the inevitable consequence
Of getting the understanding undermining love
Like the majestically flying, soarin, dove
you are undeniably my one and only catastrophe
But that's just me
Promise Baby
Youll never think about leaving me
Baby you can always come back to me
And though our heart is breakin
I will find and love you
Because from me you were just taken
********* (chorus)
You were just taken from my hands
I didn't even get a chance
I still remember your soft hands
Do worry baby I'll free you
You can be with me too
I love you
Nothing will ever get in my way
No shattered earth or even a judgement day
I will let you beat me and hurt me as long as I get to see
The one love who was taken just like the king
Baby I'll never go
I'll never show
I'll never ever stop
Just as long as I get to see you I'm willing to go and drop
You are my life, don't forget that
Because wait for it,
And I mean it
I will bring you back
******** (Chorus)
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Old 10-10-2015, 10:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Posts: 3,329
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Don't you eat my fries
don't you drink my sprite
you can have a teeny bite
of my pizza slice
but not my piece of pie
that whole thing is mine
didn't you see the price
a dollar fifty nine

I made a rap about people bumming off my food.
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Old 10-10-2015, 10:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 113
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre View Post
Don't you eat my fries
don't you drink my sprite
you can have a teeny bite
of my pizza slice
but not my piece of pie
that whole thing is mine
didn't you see the price
a dollar fifty nine

I made a rap about people bumming off my food.

I'm dying

Just for kicks I read the OP's rap lyrics in a rap voice (or half of it at least) and now I feel an overwhelming feeling of shame..
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Old 10-11-2015, 05:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
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On one hand this is painfully ****ty, on the other I wouldn't be surprised if lyrics for chart-topping pop-rap were on the same level of cringe-inducing terribleness.
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