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Old 11-30-2017, 12:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Ori's beautiful poetry

Some people write poems about stuff without grit,
puppys, sunsets, that kind of shit.

Others write about 'the darkness within',
whiny little bitches who've forgotten how to grin.

Well, I like to write about tits and explosions,
because honestly, those inspire the best of emotions.

Although maybe I do comedy and act cool and punny
only because everything I write turns out funny.

I tried to write Tragedy, a new Hamlet, real sick,
but in my version, Hamlet just gave Ophelia the dick.
In like a day, his fat ass uncle ate himself to death, twas a mad ting,
and then Hamlet was like "lol", and stepped up to become the new king.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern stayed home and tag teamed a hooker,
while Polonius finally shut up, and played himself some snooker.
Fortinbras fucked a snowman, or whatever they do in Norway,
or wherever it was that loser came from anyway.

So I turned to MacBeth, to see what I could do,
and MacBeth ended up giving the witches his brew.
Instead of trying to be king, he just settled for getting laid,
and so there was no debt, in blood, fate demanded to be paid.
His crazy ass wife just lit a fucking roach,
and chilled the fuck out before on his honor she could encroach.

My version of Othello didn't fare much better,
Desdemona blew up Iago, then put his ashes in a letter,
mailed that shit to Iago's wife,
and told that bitch to move on with her life.
Sorry, Emelia, but your boy was a shit can.
Next time you wanna get hitched, get thee to a real man.

I tried writing an original, to get how Tragedy jives,
about a guy with as many cocks as a cat has lives,
but he couldn't jerk off, since his fingers were knives.

So, yeah. Like knife guy, I just couldn't cut it,
so I said "Fuck it,"
and now here I am,
writing while eating ham,
at 2:30 in the morning,
what the fuck even is my life?
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Old 11-30-2017, 01:14 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Beautiful.
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Old 11-30-2017, 07:23 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Original.
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Old 11-30-2017, 07:34 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
In like a day, his fat ass uncle ate himself to death, twas a mad ting,
and then Hamlet was like "lol", and stepped up to become the new king.
The rhythm was rocking until this line. From here on, I canít figure out the cadence and ****.
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I'm on my way to steal rom the steaore i work at

I stoel asll yhes e[ep[;e ,ajil

tonight I do anytyhihg im vafraid of f
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FLARLY put I steal

I take form my employebnt

they hteink they own me, I'm going to steal

lucky6 I don't burn the building to the ground @@@@@@@@@@@@########3
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Old 11-30-2017, 07:56 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Just wait till I crank the Cadence Clearwater Revival.
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Old 11-30-2017, 04:40 PM   #6 (permalink)
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cool
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Old 12-01-2017, 02:56 AM   #7 (permalink)
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One of my characters in my journal (haven't gotten to her chapter yet) would have appreciated your poem. Either that or she would have called you an Anti-Semite for the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern line.
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Old 12-01-2017, 05:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I immediately started rapping this in my head.

Quote:
I tried writing an original, to get how Tragedy jives,
about a guy with as many cocks as a cat has lives,
but he couldn't jerk off, since his fingers were knives.
^ That line really spoke to me.
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Old 12-01-2017, 09:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriphiel View Post
Well, I like to write about tits and explosions,
because honestly, those inspire the best of emotions
i liked the whole poem but this^ is definitely my favorite line
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Old 02-01-2018, 07:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
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In the Beginning

God made man, and gave him a crank with which to diddle,
and to the women he gave lasagna, after punching it in the middle.
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