Note: please don't tl;dr this post. It's too important.
I'm posting this here because
a) it's the correct place to discuss such things
b) I don't want the World Cup thread derailed any more than it has been already and
c) a lot of you don't go into that thread and so won't know what happened
d) I'm still really angry about it and am not satisfied with the "resolution".
But I think this is generally being seen as something to be quietly swept under the carpet and forgotten about, and I honestly believe a dialogue is needed, in the light of the so-called new rules.
So, for those who don't know: in the World Cup thread there was a post of Batty's which I made an unfunny reply to, but it wasn't offensive that I could see. In response I got this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord
(Post 1971215)
I hope Trollheart gets AIDS from his sister.
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After asking why, seeing as how this came, to me, out of nowhere, I then got this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord
(Post 1971226)
Your metal fan joke was entirely reprehensible and I feel no guilt this time. You will receive no PMs on this.
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My response after that was this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord
(Post 1971226)
Your metal fan joke was entirely reprehensible and I feel no guilt this time. You will receive no PMs on this.
Are you ****ing kidding me? I post a humorous picture and you hit back with a horrible slur like that, not only against me but against Karen? **** you, pal. I really thought you were better than that. That's ****ing low. And on my birthday. You're a ****, you know that? :mad:
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Now, whether you think that was an OTT response, as both Frownland and Batty have intimated/said, or not, the implication in this post is clear: you've gone too far. Cut it out.
Batty's further responses (which I won't bother quoting as there was a lot of back-and-forth, me getting angrier all the time) was basically to say "**** you dude: you said I could slag your sister". Sadly, and while I have to admit he kind of did his job as mod by telling Batty to cool it - which he really did not - Frownland basically supported this position, telling me in as many words, you asked for it dude.
The point I want to make here is that no matter what "permission" you may have been given (and I never really did: I just accepted Batty's comments previously because I thought he knew where the line was and wouldn't cross it) everyone should have the right to say, too far dude. Not cool. As I did. And then the joke, such as it is, should be over.
But far from doing this, Batty continued to whine and bitch that it was my fault, even going so far as to demand an apology from ME!
The comment was horrible, but even at that, I'm not so angry at that as I am at the fact that when I said stop, that's too far, very clearly and loudly, Batty did not. He kept pushing it and unfortunately for me, the only mod in the thread was Frownland. His friendship/alliance with Batty meant that, while he again sort of did his job, it was with a kind of "well, you know, didn't you say ..." kind of attitude. Had anyone else been in there - grindy, Exo, Plankton - I feel that Batty would have been warned, and if he kept on at me maybe he might have got a day ban or something. But nothing happened because these two are tight. Which makes me feel like basically there was no mod there really.
I've also noticed Batty's comments towards me becoming increasingly nasty, for whatever reason. Just recently he said "get cancer", again to some small joke I made. He did PM me about another incident, which I didn't actually think was anything as serious as this, to apologise, which is why his comments yesterday both amazed and angered me. If he could apologise for a stupid thing that I kind of really didn't take offence at, why not for something that was much more serious and deep, and that I clearly was offended by?
So the question is: regardless of what so-called permission has been given, is there not a point where you can say, you've gone too far, and if so, should the person making the comments not then stop immediately?
After all, if you loan your car to someone and they crash it, is it okay for them to say "well dude you said I could drive it!"? Does that make sense?
Even leaving my specific situation aside, don't there need to be clear guidelines set down - and adhered to - for when someone crosses the line and is told unequivocally that they have?
