Trump doctor says he tried to sneak vegetables into president’s diet and hide his ice cream

At least someone's doing something about the expansion of the executive.

Dafuq San Francisco? Get it together.

tfw you find out mindfulness plays the stock market

Sorry to hear about your $23 bro.

Gotta pour one out later

Hookers & Heroin

Scratch that.

Pig sparks farm fire in England after eating, defecating battery-powered pedometer :eek:

Is that like gaydar but for chomos?

There's a part of me that it's somewhat rational that wants this whole thing to end and go back to normal and then there's the spectator in me that thinks the show must go on.

https://www.vox.com/policy-and-polit...al-wont-comply

That's nice. He intends to break the law, which he just signed, because he didn't like that part. That's a real swell president you got there, Ant.

Eh, I'll be getting some moolah one way or the other. If he screws up and steps out of line in regards to the promised oversight on this and gets nailed, that's his problem. Sayonara Trumpski. :laughing:

F uckin A, brother

Magna water already has a bad rep for how terrible it is but goddamn.

https://www.sltrib.com/news/2020/04/...p-water-under/

You know somebody from around my area?

https://www.newsweek.com/chile-count...health-1497775

I just don't have the words anymore.

The words are "Humans are ****ing stupid and not fit to run societies with the level of population and complexity which they have created."

Maybe that’s a translation error.

It's like we're still in the larva stage society wise.

Or it's like the human race has become a Lovecraftian chimera that is both beautiful and hideous in its bloated excess from tree dwelling poo flingers to incompetent world burners but the days of reckoning and horror are proceeding expeditiously.

Like Carlin said, barely out of the trees

So much for letting prisoners loose cause of Corona:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...er/5135887002/

Florida man strikes again.

Saw that story about a man who killed one person and the rush to get him in jail. But did the man have a bullet that multiples inside you and then shoots another person and repeats the process indefinitely and exponentially? Nope. Those people are casually walking down the street because freedom.

This virus has gotten you (more) hysterical.

In any case I won't be surprised if they seize the opportunity to seal up the prisons and let them serve as an industrial sized petri dish.

I have a friend who is actually hoping that they quit letting people out cause he has an upcoming court date and "the more people they let out the more room they have for me."

**** yes on that last one.

Get back to work getting me more money.

It's funny because they've been trying to this whole time.

He's not talking about getting you more money, he's talking about forcing you to work during a pandemic.

Dude. When your typical American can’t even STAY THE **** INSIDE on their own of course I’m going to have to go back to work. You can’t pretend to take it seriously and then be like well gee I can’t skip my daily jog. Even in NYC people are out doing whatever. ****ing walking around. Nobody will sacrifice anything. People have made it perfectly clear they don’t care if it spreads. So the natural response is go back to “normal” and pretend it isn’t out there. We’re a whole nation (whole world even) of self-serving Trumps. If you want the government to take a certain course of action who have to behave in a way that’s in accordance with what you want. The people have spoken. They’ve said yeah you should stay home but if you’re not it’s cool. So what if you’re potentially spreading a pathogen that is this contagious and dangerous?

I ain’t no different. Burning energy like a mf knowing I’m killing the planet.

I’m first to the gulag.

He's like a MusicBanter troll elected to the highest office in the land.

Calling it a vacation might be the most he's ever offended me

https://s.faketrumptweet.com/k94khq5...r5s_k9yzw5.png

^ This is the most he's ever offended me, personally.

https://i.ibb.co/WvF0M2Y/download.png

My man Bernie.

About the braids or vacation because of those ****s don’t live a life of perpetual vacation I don’t know who the **** does.

Most of them don't even live in the districts they supposedly represent. They actually are on vacation somewhere (usually) if they aren't convening in Washington to raise money or pass legislation they don't read.