Mr. Charlie

Like anything in life, joking requires a degree of mindfulness. I'm okay with all jokes myself: rape, paedophilia, genocide, whatever, it's all words, and providing the joke teller is simply joking then they can joke about raping my mother for all I care - it's all good, but to joke about cancer in front of someone who has cancer, or joke about rape in front of a rape victim, well... it's likely to cause offense and upset them. And upsetting people is the opposite of what jokes should do.

Cuthbert

I agree & welcome to the board.

Good post that.

WWWP

It's not a matter of taking things seriously, it's a matter of you not having the right to cause harm - indirectly or otherwise - to another sentient being. Life is hard enough for every human as it is, you shouldn't be willing to contribute to that negative experience for the sake of a joke.

Who is the judge of whether the teller is simply joking or not? Who is in charge of monitoring to make sure no one is joking about cancer in front of a cancer sufferer or making a rape joke in front of someone who has been raped? If you are ok hearing jokes about raping your mother then power to you, but you don't get to say that people should be allowed to joke about offensive things just because you are not offended.

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butthead aka 216

the person doin the joking?????

Mr. Charlie

We're all judges. We hear something, we see something, and we judge it, we judge it based on our sensibilities and our fears and our experiences, and unless we're Buddhist or Taoist or long practisers of Zen, then not judging things we experience is extremely difficult.

I think I could have worded my post a little better but let me be clear - I don't for a second believe I get to say what people should and shouldn't joke about. The point I was trying to make is that if a joke upsets someone, if it leaves them feeling worse, then the joke, in my opinion, has failed. But as you allude to, it's not always easy to gauge what things some people might find offensive. It's a fine line to walk.

WWWP

But if you can't extend that assurance to your audience then you're a shit comedian and, as Mr. Charlie said, your joke has failed. If you get gratification from making people question your morality or decency as a human then you're a shit person.

A lot of good comedians express themselves in a way that toes the line - it's truly an art form. They make you question and reflect on your own beliefs and behaviors. The shit comedians are the ones who tell jokes for the shock value or thrive on making people think they're an *******.

I can't understand why you're ok with this. I used to hold a similar viewpoint to yours, but a moment came where I stepped back and gained some perspective and realized that what I say has the potential to hurt someone else, and I made every effort to better myself and reduce the amount of harm I impose on others as much as possible. I couldn't settle for just being an *******.

Ok, I hear you. My issue lies in the fact that things like rape, pedophilia, genocide, etc. are all real, ongoing things that happen to real people. Perhaps I'm overly empathetic but I can't make light of things that cause tangible harm to other humans just because I'm lucky enough to not have some of those experiences. I think that joking about these things desensitizes populations to very real, very horrid occurrences, and that's part of the reason that the events are so painfully ongoing.

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Key

Because I do understand what it means to be hurt by words, but then I also realized how silly it was to be hurt by someone who was just joking about a situation. If they're being serious and are out to hurt me, of course it will leave a thicker mark than a simple innocent joke. If joking about offensive behavior and someone whom i'm not even talking to takes offense, why should I feel obligated to care? I'm not making them listen to me. And yes, it happens in public more frequently than most think. Say you're on the bus and you're talking to your friend and you start making jokes that wouldn't seem offensive and somebody completely far away from you comes up to you and says the jokes are offensive. Of course, i'll stop making those jokes, but i'm not going to be made to feel bad about them prior to that situation.

Just fyi, I never said i'd continue to make the jokes if someone felt offended. If anything, i'll move somewhere else and continue to do so with the person i'm speaking with.

WWWP

Ok, but the example you gave was sitting in a break room with people you knew and people you didn't know well. In that context I don't find it acceptable to make a joke that runs the risk of offending someone within earshot. The same goes if you're on public transport or in a coffee shop. I think that we all have a social responsibility as thinking adults to err on the side of caution.

Also you said that you wouldn't feel bad if you're making jokes with a friend that wouldn't seem offensive that did end up offending someone, but that's a different situation. I'm talking about jokes you know are offensive that you choose to make regardless of who is around to hear them, the situation in which you seemed to take the "that's their problem" approach.

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Key

Yes, that example pertains to if I were sitting in the break room with a few good friends and we were all throwing jokes around. Is it my fault if I don't know that the person is going to be offended? I will stress the fact that I never said I would keep saying the jokes, but I still don't see why I should feel bad prior.

I said in my example of the break room that I am talking to close friends. I never said I was just blurting out jokes to people I don't know that well. In any case, I'm always joking around with good friends, and offensive jokes get thrown around, and we all have a good laugh. I again don't see the problem.

I think people are completely missing the fact that I don't just scream random offensive jokes to people I don't know. If offensive jokes are being told, it's with a group of good friends who are doing the same thing.

Engine

^good point of the day. Can you tell us some pro comedians who you think are in the ******* camp? I'm just curious.

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