s_k

Haha, I'm pretty sure I've only killed wasps in my life. And spiders because I don't dare picking them up. Your theory seems false, sir. There has been one person in my life I would have killed if I had ran into him at some point. But I didn't. I kept my distance because I didn't want to. So there ya go, I don't even want to kill the people I detest greatly.

And what's that you say about Vegangelica?
You're saying I'm a serial killer and, afterwards, you say I should talk to her more. Are you trying to make me do something here?
No, seriously. I do like Vegangelica a lot. And I somehow don't see much of her posings, she probably posts a lot in other forums or so?
Altough I wouldn't mind talking to her more, I wonder what makes you think I should?

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dankrsta

Thanks mojo
Well, it's both. I'm a rather private person and you haven't paid attention when I shared some info here and there, around the forum. Maybe I should do the whole "25 facts about you" thing.
And yes, me and bob. have a very similar taste in music and in films too, I must say.
I think I'm gonna do my own list here, one of these days.

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VEGANGELICA

I think we'd get along well, too, s_k, because you *are* direct and often seem unperturbed by people's views, not needing their approval. I don't get feisty and riled up too often, so chances are I wouldn't trigger your angry side. Plus I can glower and be pessimistic, too, so we could be uncheery together...

...when we aren't being obscenely pleasant to each other, that is!

I admit I have always thought of you as being very cheery on MB, and I think that quality in you is sweet. But I know from knowing myself that cheeriness doesn't mean a person is a shallow veneer of happiness without discontent or serious frustrations and disappointments. One can be both cheery and wrestle with troubling issues. This doesn't mean the cheeriness is a facade...just that a person can have more feelings than simply cheeriness.

I like that you seem very welcoming, such as when you offered us MBers that lovely tour of your cool garage-home. You seem to enjoy connecting with people, and I relate to that. I didn't realize you hate the world, life, and the way people behave, s_k. What do you hate most about them?



Being thought of as having unique views and looking kinda geeky is very flattering, Il Duce.

Not meaning to flatter *you*, but it is actually true that I've enjoyed reading your posts quite a bit and will go to them when I notice a new post by you. One thing I like about your posts is that you actually communicate back and forth with people on the boards, even in the music section. So I think you read and listen to what other people are listening to and then you respond, rather than only sharing the music you're interested in. You seem to be affected in a positive way by people and genuinely enjoy interacting with them.

Plus, you seem very open about yourself. Your opinions about your home country and life there are always interesting to read, too. *And* you have a sense of humor.

Ha ha! That made me chuckle.

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VEGANGELICA

Oh good. Even someone who is desperately desperate thinks I'm geeky. :/



Ha ha! I missed this the first time around, you serial killer you. Oh, excuse me a moment...I have to answer the door...wait...someone's breaking in! What the?! s_k?? S_K!!!! NO NO NO N....bleggggggggggghhhhhsssssssssssssssss...



Agreed that it doesn't have to always be joy joy happy happy. I'd get exhausted if I had to keep everything in all the time.

I hope your friend is okay and your worrying is for nothing. I'd be worried, too.

I have read posts in which you've talked about having an autistic disorder, an invisible challenge, and I can see how it would be frustrating to have people's expectations of you not match what you feel capable of doing. I've been interested in learning more about how you experience the world, since how people's minds work in different ways isn't something we can each experience first-mind (as opposed to first-hand), and I'm curious about what I can't experience.

I understand your reasons for not wanting a child, s_k. I wrestled with whether or not I felt it was fair to have one...fair to the child, that is. I hoped that the positives of living would outweigh the negatives for my child...and seeing him, I think that is true so far. But intentionally bringing a new being, a new self, into existence *was*, I felt, a huge responsibility. If he suffers, it is due to ME having chosen to give birth to him. I think it is odd that anyone would criticize you for not wanting to have a child.

Love-Song:

I also didn't realize until quite recently that she was at MB. I think she'd already had 100 posts before I happened upon one of them and she and I posted songs relating to each other's posts. So she has interacted with other forum members.

I feel she is someone who has been lucky in love: she was able to find someone who loved her and whom she loved so wholly that life is now wonderfully changed for them and full of...well, love.

I think Love-song isn't so much in love with love as in love with people in her life, and she wishes everyone could have those feelings she glows with. I can understand her wanting to glow and share those feelings. Love can be a very over-powering experience when it is strong. I'm glad she experiences that. She seems very thankful, un-cynical and un-jaded, which is refreshing. I wish all people could have a love that reorients their lives and fills them with joy, meaning, and appreciation, which is what I think has happened for Love-Song. (I *think* she is a she based on some comments she has made!)

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crukster

VEGANGELICA, I think you are a very intelligent Woman, and all around pretty cool to talk to.

s_k

Hahaha, not even as a joke I would let that happen

She has this strange way of letting everything behind whenever she runs into trouble. This happened before and I always had to drag her back to who she was before. So it could be one of these moments again. I don't know. If I don't hear from her for over a week I'll call her.

Invisible challenge is a beautiful way of putting it. I'll remember that one.
It works two ways around. On one side I cannot do what I should be capable off, considering my intelligence. Otherwise, I somehow manage to be pretty good with words and I am really very social, which isn't normal for an autistic person. So I tend to disappoint people because I do give the impression that there's a lot I can do. And then I have to say no quite often.
If you have any questions considering autism, please feel free to ask them. Even if they may sound dumb or whatever. I'm not ashamed of my disorder, I try to tell it to people as much as possible because if I don't, they won't understand anyway. So don't worry. By asking me questions it's not like you are confronting me with my disability. I'm not even sure if I would want to be without autism after all those years. It has made me who I am now and altough I may have quite some quirks and problems, I also have a lot of friends, I am able to help people in my own way, there is some upsides to my autism too such as a very strong feeling for justice, a good feeling for language, a pair of ears that match just fine with my brains (I can hear stuff very quickly compared to others). It's not all bad, you know.

Altough looking at the way you talk, looking at your house, looking at your interests I think you could make a very good mother (I have no reason to believe you're not), it sure is a responsibility you have to want to take. I'm glad to read that you really thought this over. I have the feeling most people go 'everyone has kids, it's natural, I will have kids'. But looking around me, I think quite soms parents are just not that good. And I'm not saying it's their fault, I just think it's really hard to raise a kid properly. Most people have their hands full of themselves already.

Maybe you understand what I'm saying when I say that I think it's rather strange to give a kid a tattoo or a nipple piercing. You just don't do that, some parents do, but I think this is something a person should do to him or herself, should he or she want to. But somehow I sometimes have the same feeling about giving birth itself. Of course a person cannot choose to be born. That's the parent's choice. But I sometimes wonder if it's fair to give someone life, even though he or she didn't ask for it. I know this is a twisted logic and I know this is all hypothetical, but I sometimes think 'who are we to decide whether someone should live'? It's almost like reverse murder.

I'm sure your kid will be brilliant. Don't worry, I definitely don't judge you for having a kid. But I think it goes wrong too often. I still look at it as a risk I dare not take. Nevertheless I am curious what I would do should I be able to get rid of my autism. Not going to happen I guess

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Queen Boo

djchameleon: Andrei is completely unapologetic about himself and his opinions and although this leads to him being chronically bitchy, its a quality that I envy and admire. He's painfully honest and although that honesty has led me to block him on AIM for two weeks, I admire that about him as well. He's also more intellegent then he comes across in his posts, but really, how smart can you come off when you're talking about Willow Smith?

Engine: I don't know how he ended up here, really. He's one of the most intellegent people I've ever talked to and (white guy self-loathing aside) he knows it. He's fucking charming as well. Even though he's this educated, articulate, life-experienced sort of person, he talks to me without making me feel like an idiot. He talks to me like I'm an equal.
He's very observant and I think he sees right through people. He's usually pretty spot on when he forms an opinion about someone too, he notices things that I wish I could.
Engine and I have sort of a ridiculous amount in common. Same sense of humor, same boner for Albini, same problems with anxiety, similar views on the world and even on the forums. So much so that I often joke that he is my real father. Needless to say, I adore him.

Urban: Urban is exactly as he comes off. Intellegent. cocky. Brilliant. He reminds me of Engine a lot in the sense that he doesn't talk to me like I'm a little kid even though he knows way more about the world then I do. (I would kill to see him and Engine debate BTW.)
He can be sensitive but he does so in the least pussified way imaginable. I can't even describe it, really, I just wish I could embody it. His attitude, his sense of humor, his joke-cracking style, he's just the coolest motherfucker.

Pedestrian: I have such a strange relationship with this poster.... Pedestrian intimidates the shit out of me and I don't think I'm the only one. I don't know if she realizes that she's doing this but its sort of beautiful in a way. She's wondered in her journal why she sticks around here, she hasn't really made any connections or formed any friendships. Well, thats probably why. You're intimidating and its fucking great. You have the bitchy, self-assured demeanor that I'd like to embody but probably won't for quite a while. Until then, I'll talk about sex and drugs and shave my armpits.
I do think you've pegged me as sort of a depthless, vapid, dumb little girl far too quickly. Hah hah, sweetie, I'm not, but thank you. I am deeply shallow, I am self-awarely tweeny, and I've still got life behind the eyes but I have a feeling I'll be a cynical bitch like you sooner or later without even knowing it and I look forward to that day.

Il Duce: If you were less charming or cool then you'd be totally creepy. I've liked you for a while, I left you wall comments and lurked you before anyone else seemed to notice you. You're just damn cool and fascinating and exotic and I hope you stick around.

crukster: You remind me of me in the sense that we're both really fucking manic and can't turn it off sometimes. I think I understand you pretty perfectly though.
Also, my response to your professed sexual attraction to me will always be confusion...



more when I feel like it.

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Queen Boo

Oooh. A challenge.

s_k: You kind of creep me out. I wish you were bitchier. You're like 22 but you come off as really, really old, older then people twice your age, because of your posting style and your complete edgelessness. You're sort of a cute person, I don't think you'd ever (intentionally) harm anyone else, although my opinion of you changed pretty drastically after your dickishness in the child abuse thread.....
You either crave the approval of others so much that you act like you like all of them or you're really opinionless. Either way, I don't really.....like.........it......

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s_k

Hahaha, I was afraid I had been too bitchy to you in PM's.
Little did I know

That's probably because I'm close to 27.
But apart from that, I have autism as you know and one of the symptoms of my 'version' of autism is that I tend to use expensive language. I don't think I do, compared to others who have the same deviation, but apparently to you it seems like I'm an old fella. Which I'm not

So that's what went wrong. I somehow got the feeling you liked me better before. That ****ishness probably was partly due to misunderstandings and such. I definitely didn't mean to be a ****.

Ghehe, I'm definitely not opinionless and on my own forum I'm usually attacked for having an opinion that's too harsh. I can't really tell why that's not the case here. I apparently do have at least an opinion on one subject, because how else could I have been a **** in the child abuse thread?
Haha, for once I give my opinion and you think I'm a **** for that. Ghehe, I guess it's safer not to give my opinion.
I don't really change for people. So I don't crave approval in that manner. I do care about what people think about me, yeah. That's true. It's not like I can change much though.

Eitherway, I'm sorry to hear you think that way about me. I'm a whole lot more positive about you I'm afraid. But if you dislike me and I freak you out, I don't mind ignoring you from now on.

Edit: I seem to like you, but usually I understand only like 25% of what you say, even in PM's. Your mind seems to go everywhere sometimes.
I think that definitely caused some misunderstandings.

By the way, I have you in my list anyhow. I'm still working on the list but this is what I have to say about you:

Tumor
Altough I somehow get the feeling I drive her even more mad than she aldready is, I think she rocks.
Musicbanter would be a different place without her twisted humor.

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EvilChuck

That is a cold hearted emoticon.

For what its worth s_k, I like you. You're an interesting character and you appear to only try and see the best in people, which is a good quality to have I'd say. Obviously this opinion will change when I at some point have a massive argument with someone, start saying they are a **** and you defend them. But lets cross that bridge when we come to it.