I wish it didn't have the dumb gif in it, but I still lol'd.


http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...49/938/738.gif

A salesman returns home after spending a couple of weeks on the road and excitedly says to his wife, "I made four thousand dollars in the past two weeks, selling 100 mattresses and 1000 pairs of panties!"
His wife looks at him, unimpressed, and says "that's nothing, I made twice as much money in the past two weeks with one mattress and no panties."

What's better than having sex with a twenty two year old?

Having sex with twenty two year olds

http://i.imgur.com/EedG1TP.jpg

Dikc masterson owns female lmao

This is the most offensive joke i've ever heard, and it comes from a Brit, Jimmy car



it comes from a show called 'The green room with Paul Provenza' which is a bunch of comedians talking about comedy, it's a good show.

I'm totally gay for that joke.

:D

That joke is a work of art ffs :D. Jimmy Carr is a funny fucker.

What was Princess Diana's favourite brand of ice-cream?

Walls.

what do you call a black man flying an airplane?

why did the jew go to the grocery store?

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

"No mas siestas en casa."
"No mas siestas en todos casas?"
"No. No mas siestas en esta casa."

http://www.atheistnetwork2.com/image...e_confused.gif

Google Translate has made this neither offensive nor a joke.

you really needed google translate for that?

I got the gist, I just didn't get the joke.

It's the lyrics to a mariachi song I made about a family getting evicted. In honor of my friend Brandon.

No mas dinero por mi camida
Y no mas cristal por el realidad.
Oigo Sr. Blanco teine el
Bueno cristales son azules!

Me iré pronto.

http://i.imgur.com/uPC6oeG.jpg

http://img.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/5...ig-5027141.jpg

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/I+m...df_3661392.jpg

http://asset-3.soup.io/asset/3175/4229_38b6.jpeg

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/hel...3f_4027180.jpg

Hahaha yes! I'm definitely using this one hahaha

Here is one I heard from a guy while I was in Scotland..
Not really offensive, but whatever


How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck it's dick, works every time!

LOL, is the second one a real 9/11 jumper? If so they go really well beside each other.

I'm assuming so.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt.

What's the difference between a jew and Santa? Santa goes down the chimney.

How do you get a jewish girls number? Roll up her sleeve.

Why was Hitler pissed off? His gas bill was through the roof.

How did Hitler pick up girls? With a broom and dustpan.

^^^

Delicious.

:laughing:

Do you know why there are no jokes about Jonestown?

The punchlines are too long.

Jokes about the menstrual cycle are not funny... period.

Here's one I got a way back, still makes me cringe.

What's red, six-inches long, and makes your girlfriend cry when I feed it to her...
Her miscarriage.

:laughing:

I've told that one at least once. Don't shoot me, but I think it's hilarious.

I told it at Band Camp when we were putting stuff away, I got equal amounts of stares, and bursting out laughter.

What candy do sexually abused kids hate? Blow pops.

http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/picture/p..._gallery_1.jpg

http://cdn07.dayviews.com/66/_u1/_u4...1247763243.jpg

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Res...89_4954593.jpg

That'll teach me to keep my disc level.

Is 9/11 offensive anymore? Bleeding heart patriots notwithstanding, of course.

:o:

http://i.giflike.com/L1UNwQ8.gif

Spongeblood can't melt steel beams bro.

What? Is it fake? :(

my buddys gf was legitimately appalled that one of her friends booked a pedicure appointment on sept 11 this year. a very wtf experience for me to hear

I'm not saying it's fake, just that it's not real.

But is it too soon for a goofy parody though?